Language around young children

[Catdogmouse1]

Husband can use horrible language around young kids_ toddler and preschooler. F**K off, shut up. Ive called him out on this behaviour, but somehow i have ended up being in the wrong for questioning him. Please tell me im not in the wrong 4 challenging him

Of course, you're not! Their brains are little sponges and when they start mirroring his behaviour, he’ll no doubt tell them off, which us totally unfair to them. Its also unfair to them because other parents will soon distance their kids from them when they hear them talking that way to their kids.

Also, swearing at anyone is horrible imo. So many other alternatives than resorting to horrible langauge and phrases, I find it really aggressive.

Honestly, you need to ask?

Hate it, have heard loads of people cursing around their kids then giving out to the kids if they curse.

This is totally wrong. If it is towards you or the children it is abusive. My 4 are in their 20s now and we have never I mean never sworn in front of them or at each other.

Well, you don't really need to ask do you. He sounds delightful by the way.

Can't stand swearing around children - they will repeat it and embarrass you.

It's not just the words it's the tone too. Flip off shouted at you can be nearly as back as fuck off. The kids will repeat it, of course they will. I work with young kids and we can tell very quickly who has been raised around this type of language!

I hate swearing around young children. They invariably repeat it (which is neither funny or cute) and it's really unfair to set them up to say things that they will be corrected on at nursery and school. However the bigger problem for me is its not just the language it's context. He's not just swearing, he's swearing at you and telling you to shut up. Which is never OK, even when the children aren't around as it's aggressive and disrespectful.

Of course it's wrong.
And I can tell you that you can very much tell if parents swearing around the child as the child gonna be speaking in the same manner sooner or later as well.

He has no respect for you or the children.

This sort of behaviour around young children is disgusting and they will repeat it to others using the same tone as him as he is their roll model unfortunately.

I also work with children and it’s really sad to hear children saying these words.
Parents are brought in for a serious taking too as well so be prepared for that embarrassing conversation!

That’s not the only issue angry swearing adults are scary for children.

Lol my mum never swore in her life Next door neighbour swore in back garden once and my then 3 year old brother instantly picked up on it and went repeating to all and sundry. Mum nearly died of embarrassment

I know it is wrong, but me telling him doesnt seem 2 have an impact so if i have enough people replying i can show him it isnt just me who thinks it is totally wrong

Yes, it’s horrible. When they swear at him, won’t he care.

If he's the kind of man to behave like that, I seriously doubt that showing him the thread will make him see the error of his ways. I expect he'll just dismiss is as well as you.

Research shows that yelling and harsh verbal discipline can have similar negative effects as corporal punishment. Children who are constantly yelled at are more likely to have behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, stress and other emotional issues, similar to children who are hit or spanked frequently.
Yelling at a child can cause more harm when it is accompanied with:

• Hurtful, abusive words
• Blame
• Shame

I have a fairly liberal attitude to swearing but it is never ever to be used against someone, telling someone to fuck off or shut up are IMO forgivable.

Saying FFS if you drop a plate on your foot gets a bit of leyway.

Thank u everybody 4 all of ur replies, i really appreciate people taking the time 2 answer

Of course - swearing aggressively is awful. Like a pp said ffs if you stub your toe not so bad - still not great obvs!

I don't think my 7/3 year olds have even heard the F word. Sometimes I worry I'm wrapping them in cotton wool but they'll hear it plenty when they're older.

Of course it's wrong to swear like that around children. I have accidentally said "shit" once or twice, usually when I've injured myself and it came out by accident. I have told mine to shut up once or twice, but never in anger and usually when I've asked them five billion times to be quiet politely.

My husband wouldn't dream of swearing in front of our kids.

If I heard him using that language towards his children in ear shot at school pick up time I would flag it on CPOMS (our central online system) as a safeguarding issue.

It is damaging to children to be spoken to in this way.

I wonder if you were ever to tell him to shut up or fuck off how would he like it? Yet he can do that to his little kids. Imagine he heard a teacher swearing at his children would he be shocked and yet a parent is more responsible for a child than their teacher.
If you are reading this Mr Swearing Father be prepared for your children to start telling you to fuck off when they are teens..be too late to change then. Its totally unacceptable.