To be leaving my partner?

[Freddie15VES]

So this is a long one so i’ll keep it short as possible m - 2 kids, 10 years together. Recently revealed a huge issue with alcohol addiction also

Found out he’d been messaging sex workers asking for availability. He said he didn’t go through with it, but did it because he ‘didn’t feel loved’

I feel awful for our 3 year old and 5 month old as he’ll be coming from a broken home. So please please send encouraging stories of how theyll be okay and that staying with a complete narcissist is the wrong thing to do completely

You’ll create a far happier and safer home for them after you move out. Your partner/ex can’t do that while he’s drinking, making poor choices and disrespecting you.

Of course he went through with it. How did the secret alcohol addiction happen? You weren't aware of the extent he was drinking?

You don't want a lying alcoholic who visits sex workers around the children. Look at splitting up as safeguarding. Make sure you get an sti check.

@cupcaske123 he was very very very good at hiding it

Well he's spent a fortune on booze and sex workers.

@cupcaske123 yep. already feeling like an idiot for not piecing things together earlier

It's laughable that he says he wanted to visit prostitutes "to feel loved" 🙄

Sleazy fucking piss-head 😡

It’s almost certain that he did go through with it, you know that. Even if he didn’t - the disrespect is too great to come back from, especially blaming you.

You’re in a bad place so I don’t want to lay into you too hard about the “broken home” nonsense 😉

But really - on behalf of divorcees and single parents, thanks for that… my home isn’t broken! The marriage I was in with a prostitute using husband was far more broken.

Mine was 5 when we split. Never had an issue with it - easy age to accept it. Has spent the last 12 years loving being the princess of two homes! Great relationships with both of us, and a big fan of getting two summer holidays every year!

@Testina i defo didn’t mean it like that!! i’m sorry, not thinking straight and just typing away. It was always such a taboo thing when i was at school if you were from a ‘broken’ home - stupid really. i’d much rather my kids be from a home with a happy mum who feels like she’s not worthless and meaningless to someone. especially with me having a daughter - i do not want either of them thinking this is okay but especially her

"Broken home" is so outdated. It's very common for many children to have separated parents in this day and age. YANBU

@BMW6 i actually knew straight away that he’d try and shift some of the blame onto me, as soon as i told him i knew about the messages. I could have put money on the reason being my fault

You will know what's going on in your own family home. Not
Worrying about where your husband is, who he is messaging. Your kids will have stability and a
Mum who can think of them constantly instead of arguments and worry over where their dad is who he's with what he's doing and how much money you have that's not been pissed down the drain.
You will be there for your kids 100% instead of having to divide your attentions between them and your man child.
You will have mega respect for yourself that you are not
Putting up with his bullshit.
You are doing what's best for YOU! You have young babies, you are preserving their lives so they have no memories of how
Alcoholics affect their
Families lives and how that can manage at
Onto them in the future. You are safeguarding your kids the best way by not exposing them to the kind of bullshit your husband is exposing them and you too.
You are saving yourself from sexual diseases.
You are fsavinv yourself from a man who does not give a shit about what HE is doing to your beautiful family.
Please leave now. If you stay he will not stop. And your marriage/relationship will always be in question.
Respect yourself, you deserve better. Way better.

Ohh, where to start? I was finding empty vodka bottles in all sorts of weird places.
Leave!!
Alcoholics make you feel like shit, full of self pity not taking responsibility, abusive and are pathetic!
Leave!!
You are worth more!
Leave!!
Your dc don't deserve this lifestyle choice!
Leave!
Life WILL get better!
Leave!
❤️🫂

Once you're not living with him you feel a weight has been lifted. It's such a difficult leap to do, it is tricky, but it is worth it. You'll put new, healthy boundaries in with him. You deserve better, the kids deserve not to live in that atmosphere.

There are so many ways in which your life and your children's lives will improve. You have a 5 month old and a 3 year old. So this man went for sex workers when you were pregnant or postpartum - the lowest of the low. The addiction will take over your whole lives as well, it's not worth it.

Leaving sooner rather than later means not just that you get your life back, but kids will get used to the setup as well. In a lot of ways, it's harder to split when they're older.

thanks so much everyone

it’s alot to think about i’m scared, not of being alone but of figuring all this out

where we’d live, how id afford to live and support 2 children, how id give them the best life by parenting alone for the majority of the week, how id cope with missing him (fucking stupid i know) how id explain to my 3 year old where daddy is as he asks after him when he’s been at work for a couple of hours nevermind gone for days

would i be stupid to hope that we could be friends? and co parent well together?

You have a 5 month old and he's trying to say he "doesn't feel loved"?

What a piece of shit. You deserve so much better.

These days plenty of kids come from broken homes & they grow up to be successful, functioning adults. I mean, no-one ever wants that but it's also not the worst thing that could happen. You will survive & your kids will too.