to want to know if/when I am meant to be seeing my sister today???

[Nyeh]

My sister is home for today and tomorrow. She has a thing she is going out to tonight.

She doesn't see the children much and is a doting auntie, so when she is coming home I make sure they are available to be seen as much as possible.

I called my mum this morning to find out what the plans were, and she said she didn't know, the train was due in about half one and they would take it from there. To go about my day as normal.

My "normal" weekend days are spent OUT. DD gets really worked up at home so we make sure we are out at my dad's, my mum's, somewhere.

I cannot go about my day as normal because if I am halfway across town and I am suddenly summoned it would be bloody rude to turn round and say, "oh, we have somewhere else we are going now that we've been here 5 mins."

If I go about as normal and DON'T come back when she wants to see them, then I will be the terrible sister who deprives an auntie of her neplings.

Plus, DD knows that she is home and is desperate to see her. Try explaining to a 4 yr old that you don't know when or if she will see her today.

For all I know they don't plan to see them at all today. If I phone and question then it will be a case that I am forcing myself on them if they didn't want to see us.

I don't know what to do. Pissed off because if it were the other way round, then DSis would expect a full itinerary.

I guess I am then...

I have the same problem with my sister. I just play along with it, within reason.

She phones and says plaintively "oh I'd love to see the children" - when we're in West London and she's sitting in bloody Patisserie Valerie on the Brompton Road!

priorities!

Well, most of the day has gone now. I would phone your mother to say you are going round the park and if your sister wants to see the kids can she let you know as the kids want to see her.

Apparently we're not seeing them. She says she said this morning that we most likely wouldn't be, but she didn't, she said she didn't know what was happening and she would let me know.

had I been told that I wouldn't have a 4yr old in tears now because I wouldn't have told her.

Lesson learned. Don't tell your child anything until it is a definite.

I thought seeing them at some point was definite.

Thanks for lesson 14327983475378 on how crap a mother i am.

I didn't mean it like that!

You are not a crap mother.

It is something I learnt to do when my child sat by the window for ages waiting for some boys to come and play as their mum said they would. They are 5 years late.

I'm sorry, in a horrible mood today and taking it out on everyone on here.

DD has aspergers type issues and is best when she knows in advance what is happening because suddenly launching plans on her can throw her at times, but we then have the same effect in reverse when things are suddenly cancelled. It is just trying to find a happy medium I suppose.

you need a plan, if she is not getting in until 13.30 then you could go out in the morning and leave the afternoon free

i don;t understand why you could not phone your sis and say 'come round for afternoon tea at 4.30' and then you could make cakes with the DCs to keep them occupoed

or invite her for lunch tomorrow, then you get an answer and know what to tell teh children

My mum and sis were vague, I was indecisive and generally a waste of space all day. The two combined were a bad result.

No need to apologise. The ! was to say I wasn't being harsh with you. We all pick up little tricks to use through bad/hard experiences.