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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate going to the hairdresser!

42 replies

Sleepdeprived42long · 18/07/2024 14:03

I’m an introvert and I just hate going to the hairdresser-all the small talk, feeling like I have to share information about myself! I’m not hugely interested in developing an ongoing relationship with them and I always feel like it takes forever like they think I want to be there for as long as possible. Then have to pay £££ for the privilege. Have tried to colour at home and have tried many many different hairdressers over the years. All the same!

I’ve been putting it off for months now contemplating going grey but I’m only in my early 40s so not quite ready for that yet. Just wish there was a ‘quick and quiet’ appointment I could book! Anyone else feel the same way?

OP posts:
ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 18/07/2024 14:28

I have a couple of salons locally that do advertise silent appointments so it's worth looking into.

VeronicaBeccabunga · 18/07/2024 14:30

I'm with you, OP.
I have been lucky enough to find a local mobile hairdresser.
She comes to my house, I wash my hair in my own shower with my choice of shampoo, so none of that excruciating head-rubbing with your neck cricked over a basin, and is quick and quiet.

If anyone can solve my huge fear of the optician, I'd be grateful. Far rather go to the dentist, I live in fear of that little dark room and them breathing in my face.

Suitcasesthree · 18/07/2024 14:32

For me it's the length of time that I feel trapped and on display. I have a full head colour so it should take 2.5 hours but if I'm not careful to say that I need to be out at a certain time, I'm there 3.5 hours. At Christmas it was almost 5. The effort of small talk all that time drives me bananas.

MereDintofPandiculation · 18/07/2024 14:35

I haven't been to the hairdresser for 55 years. I wouldn't know where to start now!

Would you feel any better with a mobile hairdresser? Then it's just you and her in familiar surroundings.

NasiDagang · 18/07/2024 14:37

PointsSouth · 18/07/2024 14:20

Hate it. I'd rather go to the dentist.

My dentist does a lot of chatting as well.

FuzzyPuffling · 18/07/2024 14:37

I've started having a wet cut, not a blow dry. So much quicker, and I have to be able to dry it myself anyway.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 18/07/2024 14:42

I love my hairdresser. I go in, she plonks me in my chair, makes a coffee for me, she mixes my hair stuff, plonks it on my head and we chat shit whilst she does it.

Then, whilst it's 'doing', I put my headphones on and watch something whilst she goes to tend to another client.

An hour later, in having it washed off and we chat shit again whilst she's cutting and baling my mop. Perfect!

purplecorkheart · 18/07/2024 14:44

I go to a person who works from home the majority of time and they are a friend now.

When I do go to the salon if my regular person is unavailable I tell them that I struggle to hear over hairdryer and with hearing someone talking behind me so I am just going to scroll on my phone or read a book. To be fair it is the truth,

Bideshi · 18/07/2024 14:49

NasiDagang · 18/07/2024 14:37

My dentist does a lot of chatting as well.

My dentist describes his latest golf round stroke by stroke. It's strangely calming.

I hate the hairdressers too. Now, though, after discussing what I want done, I take my hearing aids out and put them in their little pouches, and say 'Sorry, won't be able to hear you now...'
It's the one thing about being ancient and hard of hearing that I love.

Gilo2024 · 18/07/2024 14:49

Absolutely agree! I use someone different each time (different stylist in hairdressers or private hairdressers) and that way, I can have the same, rehearsed conversation over and over again until it's done - no need to elaborate on anything! 😀

socks1107 · 18/07/2024 14:52

Me too, my hairdresser now works at home and she knows I like it quick and quiet which is what we do on a Saturday morning. In and out and paid via bank transfer

LutonBeds · 18/07/2024 14:52

My hairdresser has actually just advertised they have opened a quiet room in their salon that you can book if you want privacy and quiet. It may catch on elsewhere.

ToxicChristmas · 18/07/2024 14:52

There are definitely quiet appointments available -my hairdresser does them. You ask when you book (you can do this by text or email if you find asking difficult) and then bar the hello and goodbye and necessary bits, you can sit and read quietly or work or just sit and decompress. It's been a very popular service.
I don't like going really either, and I go to a friend's salon! It's more the time it takes for me. It doesn't feel like a treat, more of a necessary pain in the arse.

PerkyMintDeer · 18/07/2024 15:17

VeronicaBeccabunga · 18/07/2024 14:30

I'm with you, OP.
I have been lucky enough to find a local mobile hairdresser.
She comes to my house, I wash my hair in my own shower with my choice of shampoo, so none of that excruciating head-rubbing with your neck cricked over a basin, and is quick and quiet.

If anyone can solve my huge fear of the optician, I'd be grateful. Far rather go to the dentist, I live in fear of that little dark room and them breathing in my face.

Me again - lol!

I've accidentally also recently stumbled upon an independent opticians where pretty much everyone working there is also neurodivergent (this is getting to be a theme with me!).

I used to go to Boots and high street chains but this one is a converted house, so it's just like being in someone's living room. They even sometimes give me cake, and always a cup of tea. It's a bit like visiting the Weasley family.

Everyone who works there is over sensitive/over stimulated by lights/noise/sensory shite so they take ages checking you are actually comfortable.

The optician will say, now are you actually comfy in that chair, move around a bit, have a fidget, bloody awful those chairs, hate the things, let me know if you need a breather, it's not especially nice having someone up close like this is it etc and is very patient.

He actually picked up that it was a bit overwhelming for me and, at no extra charge, said he'd have me come in to get the other eye tested on another day as he felt I was getting a "bit tired".

The staff are all very accomodating.
Again, I had to shop around, pay a few visits and talk to staff before I found "the one".

For the hell that is glasses choosing it was worth it alone. I've got the first pair that actually suit me and are "comfortable" thanks to the autstic "bluntness" of the optical assistant. "No. Not those. They look insipid on you." "YES THOSE!!! You look AMAZING!!! Please trust me and don't pick those awful pink ones!"

I've never had so many compliments on my glasses. Or felt so comfortable at the opticians.

So again, shop around, explain how you feel and you might find somewhere you feel comfortable and where they will give you the space you need.

climbelon · 15/10/2024 11:55

I'm the same. I've ended up bodging it at home!
But have seen some hairdressers locally advertise 'the silent treatment'
I found this by googling hairdresser for autistic people. I'm not autistic (that I know of) but my thinking was these people would be aware not everyone wants to talk.
Hope you found somewhere.

BeardofHagrid · 11/11/2024 07:38

PerkyMintDeer · 18/07/2024 15:17

Me again - lol!

I've accidentally also recently stumbled upon an independent opticians where pretty much everyone working there is also neurodivergent (this is getting to be a theme with me!).

I used to go to Boots and high street chains but this one is a converted house, so it's just like being in someone's living room. They even sometimes give me cake, and always a cup of tea. It's a bit like visiting the Weasley family.

Everyone who works there is over sensitive/over stimulated by lights/noise/sensory shite so they take ages checking you are actually comfortable.

The optician will say, now are you actually comfy in that chair, move around a bit, have a fidget, bloody awful those chairs, hate the things, let me know if you need a breather, it's not especially nice having someone up close like this is it etc and is very patient.

He actually picked up that it was a bit overwhelming for me and, at no extra charge, said he'd have me come in to get the other eye tested on another day as he felt I was getting a "bit tired".

The staff are all very accomodating.
Again, I had to shop around, pay a few visits and talk to staff before I found "the one".

For the hell that is glasses choosing it was worth it alone. I've got the first pair that actually suit me and are "comfortable" thanks to the autstic "bluntness" of the optical assistant. "No. Not those. They look insipid on you." "YES THOSE!!! You look AMAZING!!! Please trust me and don't pick those awful pink ones!"

I've never had so many compliments on my glasses. Or felt so comfortable at the opticians.

So again, shop around, explain how you feel and you might find somewhere you feel comfortable and where they will give you the space you need.

Gosh, this sounds amazing! I have a phobia of the opticians and I would kill to have this nearby! My place is terrible, they just pepper me with questions and make a huge fuss every time I go in because a couple of years ago they thought I had a serious condition (which turned out to be nothing much at all). I think my last appointment was 40 minutes! She kept getting me to read a line of letters that was absolutely minuscule, then said, oh none of my patients can actually see that line but I wanted to push you as far as I could!! I wanted to cry by that point, it was just awful.

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