What age is ok to leave a child at home for short periods?

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I have a 10 year old daughter, would it be unreasonable to say leave her at home while I nip to a shop nearby? What are peoples thoughts? And if not yet, when?

Yes from age 10 for short periods, if they are sensible. Ours had an iPad so could FaceTime us at any point. We started out with leaving for 5-10 mins and over the last year have gone up to an hour or so during day or early evening. We don’t leave in later evening yet though. They are our only child so it is just them in the house if we go out to shop or dog walk or whatever.. Conditions are must be contactable on iPad/phone, must not cook anything, use anything dangerous, leave the house unless emergency, open the door to anyone and we also had a chat about what to do in emergency/fire. Also knows to go next door to our neighbour if emergency.

I'd say from about 7 for an hour tops.

I used to leave my dc for about half an hour from about 10, normally so I could walk the dog if they didn't want to come.

I’m surprised that people won’t leave a child alone until they have a phone. DD is not getting a phone till secondary at the absolute earliest. If there is a problem she can knock on a trusted neighbour’s door - in a true emergency they can call us. In my view she’d be in much more danger alone with a phone aged 9 or 10 than alone at home without one!

Depends on the child, but I was happy leaving DS for a short while at 10 so long as he had some way to contact us (he didn't have his own phone then but could use an old one of ours to facetime). He's now 12 and would probably be fine for a whole work day (though would get very bored so still does some sports clubs in holidays).

Agree it's more know how to contact you rather than have own phone.

I leave my 9yo to pop to local shops (there and back in 20 mins max) and I left her brother at a similar age. Now I usually leave them together.

Both sensible kids, lots of neighbours who are retired / WFH incase of emergency.

Older DC is off to secondary in September and I leave him for a few hours now. Albeit very rarely and he doesn't need to feed himself etc.

And yes, this sounds fine. I did make a list of rules like don't open the door, go and knock x door if fire alarm goes off, don't use oven.

8 onwards in my eyes. My eldest is 9 next week and I left him for 10 minutes, we went through what to do in an emergency etc and he was fine but he doesn't want me to do it again so I haven't.

My youngest is 7 in 2 months and whilst he would probably be fine for 10 minutes I wouldn't trust him at all, he's more likely to do something stupid like stick a knife in the toaster.

10 is a sensible age to start slowly and build up to longer periods.

10 is about right, depending on the child. When I started leaving mine the rule was no getting snacks and no answering the door.

At 10 usually yes but take into consideration how long you are going for, whether there's another adult they can contact if they can't get hold of you (dad, grandma etc). They should have access to a phone and to be able to get out of the building in emergency.

For some children at 8 this is fine, for others at 12 they still can't be trusted

8

i think it depends on the child? and how far you are going?

if the child is sensible, and you are popping litterally round the corner then i see no harm in it, but if you are going to travel some distance away i probably wouldn't but thats because i am a 'what if' kind of person.

what if the car breaks down, what if i am in an accident... that said, at 11 my DC were catching a public bus to take them to school everyday, and if its ok for that, then i'm sure a short space of time would be ok

My DS is 10 almost 11 and we leave him for an hour ish. He has just started having a key to let himself in after school on my office day when I get in 40 mins later, as need to get him prepared for high school. I ring him when he should have just got home to check all is OK and to remind him to empty the dishwasher

We built up to an hour over the last 10 months

I leave my 7 year old at home for up to half an hour if I'm nipping out to the shop or something. Usually only if I'm nipping out on foot in the daytime - if I had to drive anywhere or it was dark she'd generally come with me

It depends on the child, Possible scenarios and what to do, rules must be taught first. If child is cautious and responsible 30-60 minutes should be fine.

As well as considering whether your child is safe to be left alone, make sure you run through a contingency plan of what they should do if you don't return at the time expected and you haven't contacted them to let them know. Such as call you, then call Dad, then call Grandparents, then knock on a trusted neighbour's door and if all else fails, call police. Sounds extreme and we've never had to use it, but I feel better knowing that there's a plan should anything go wrong.

At 10 I left mine for two hours while at work. They even got themselves dinner.
(Work 10mins walk away!)

From 8 on I'd say you could leave them as long as you were comfortable they were sensible enough to leave. A friend was affronted I let my eldest stay on her own during the day once a week while I was at work during summer holidays whereas I was in shock hers needed a babysitter. My reasoning was I had a very sensible kid who makes her way across the city to school on her own which is much less safe whereas her daughter was the same age but couldn't be trusted to not start mucking about with oven etc. Different kids have different limits

Yes I done this at 10. For 20 mins maybe to run pick up another child or go to the shops. Very sensible child.

They develop a new level of judgement around age 10 - eg they are more able to accurately gauge speed of traffic and assess risk. I would say once you have seen that spurt in their development and independence.

It's not just about the everyday, it's would they cope in a real emergency. DS has cut himself on something innocuous in a bathroom and not been able to leave to get help so 100% they would need access to a phone and the skills to use it, know our phone numbers and address, know what to do if there's a fire etc and be able to execute it, how to phone 999 etc.

It depends on the child, you, where you live etc. I left mine at 8 for very short periods - to nip to the shop or post a letter etc. At 10, I was leaving them for up to a couple of hours (daytime only) while I ran into town or to the supermarket. At 12, I'd leave them for several hours in the day, but not at all in the evening.

When I was 10 I was left for an hour in the morning between my parents going to work and me taking myself up the road to school, and up to two hours after school before they got home from work. The biggest danger for me was falling back to sleep in the morning and not making it to school on time! Luckily I had a friend who called round to wake me up. I was a sensible child and my parents talked to me about what to do, as I couldn't contact them - so for example on the day I got home and the house alarm was going off, although I was quite sure it was just a malfunction I went next door to the neighbour who came in with me to check it out.

As others have said it depends on the child, but since you're asking I'm guessing you're not too worried she will try to do some cooking or start a party while you're gone. Just try and discuss all possible situations you can think of where she might need adult guidance or help and how she'll get it.

DS1 was fine for a couple of hours at 10- he'd lost the habit of being lugged around everywhere during the Covid/ WFH stage and had no interest in going back to extraneous excursions in the name of supervision.

DS2 likes company more but built up to an hour or so at 10, and now at 11, doesn't blink at a couple of hours. He's gone out more independently. Walked home from school at 9, and has walked to/ from school from 10.

We have a landline with numbers programmed in and both children were well-drilled with my air stewardess mode in the early days on top of what they've learned in scouting about life-skills.

If there aren't SNs involved, I'd be worried about 10yos not being comfortable/ safe/ coping with short periods alone, and it's a skill best built up gradually as they get used to it.

DD is 9, nearly 10. We've started doing this with her; only for short amounts of time. She has a phone (no sim) so can message me, DH or her grandparents. We've also shown her how to use the home phone which has various numbers preprogrammed. She knows about 999; not to answer the door, use the oven, toaster etc. I even said don't stick a fork on a plug socket & she asked why anyone would ever do that. 😂
She's pretty sensible, just reads, watches tv or plays on the computer/switch.
I was younger than her when my parents would be gone all day at work over the summer holidays & it was just my DB & I. So yes, if you feel she's ready go for it.