To not take my 8y/o to a Child Psychologist who's vocally Christian?

[Dustyblue]

I'm an atheist, as is most of my family. I've friends who are solid Christians and we just choose not to discuss certain issues.

The one child psych in town has a website full of god talk. My child is not a child of god, thank you very much! A lot of his site sounds reasonable, some of it a bit woo, he treats a long list of disorders, is very experienced.

My 1st reaction was NO, I'll find someone else. But I was chatting to a friend (also atheist) and she pointed out that he might not necessarily being bringing anything religious to his therapy. As in, he's likely not actually using prayer to cure children. Which makes sense I guess.

But I'm just uneasy about this guy. You could slip in all sorts of ideas without going as far as saying "Let us pray now". Am I overreacting & being unreasonable?

If he's really just saying his motivation to help comes from his Christian faith then that's one thing, if he's saying he talks about Christianity in his session and uses it as a tool then it's not someone I would use. He's made his beliefs known and you can make a choice.

My mum doctor shopped to find a shrink willing to diagnose my brother with something other than spoilt golden child syndrome. (He was doctor 17). This one advertises himself as a gay born again Christian. Frankly, the gay bit doesn’t bother me but the alarm
bells are shrieking at the latter. Also, we shouldn’t know anything about him at all really. This guy has treated my brother for almost every psychiatric illness known to man. I suspect if he didn’t have an illness before he does now thanks to the prescription meds he’s been on for years. I genuinely think religion and therapy need to be separate things.

Call and talk to him and explain. Just because he is Christian doesn't mean he can't be professional and support his clients. I mean I know some can't help themselves which is why I say talk to him.

I'm Christian, my cv has a lot of things in it revolving around that. However when I worked at a non religious school I didn't wip out a 'god bless you' or a prayer at every opportunity 😂 When a parent saw my cross tattoo she seemed surprised as her experience had been very vocal Christians.

You could slip in all sorts of ideas without going as far as saying "Let us pray now".

well yes, you could. But your child will be taught by Christian teachers, be treated by Christian doctors, interact with Christians left right and centre and they’re not “slipping in ideas” as you put it.

you’ve seen the website, you say it’s clear. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else.

Just because he is a Christian doesn't mean he incorporates God into his treatment plans.
Just talk to him about it and if you're not comfortable then don't use him.
If it's going to stress you out wondering what will be said then don't do it.
I am a Christian but I don't talk about it at my work unless somebody asks.

Thanks for your post. I just called but could only speak to his admin person.

She effectively said I should probably find another provider who is more in line with my thinking. Guess I've been told!

Loud and proud Christian in a professional capacity? Yuck. I wouldn’t trust it or them with my child. Beware.

If you knew someone was Muslim would you assume your child would be preying with them too?

They could even pray! Bloody typos.

You called them before 7am?! Or are you not in the UK?

I don't care what religion people follow. It's an important part of many people's lives & I have no issue with that.

I tend to agree with @PooledEstimate

If his website (presumably his professional one with info about his practice etc is full of "god talk" this would be an immediate red flag for me that he struggles to separate his religious beliefs from his professional life & there'd be a real risk he would not respect our atheism as a family (strong Christians tend to believe "mission" or evangelism is a key part of their faith). I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

That's the difference though. He was very explicit on his professional site so it is very reasonable to assume he does bring his beliefs to work unprompted.

I would assume similar of an individual of any other religion if they could not refrain from filling their website with religious references.

if his professional website is highly religious, it’s probably not the solution for you, and he might incorporate the love of Jesus, or bible verses or prayer into therapy. Maybe it might be more like speaking to a vicar about personal issues? If you wanted a theological solution to your problems you would be looking specifically for that. A lot of people are looking for therapy which is in line with their beliefs, there is probably a market for it, but not for you.

But to balance that, a huge number of nurses and other caring professions are strongly Christian. Particularly nurses, I assume they are awaiting their reward in heaven as they certainly aren’t getting one on earth. They don’t talk about their faith to the patients, but rely on their faith and the love of Jesus etc to cope with difficult days at work.

So not to write this therapist off on the basis of faith, but to go on their approach and methods.

Very true. My boy sees many doctors & therapists (he has a complicated genetic condition) and I couldn't give a hoot about the personal convictions of his treating specialists.

Child Psych is a bit different, he is a frightened & vulnerable child. Again, I don't think I'd care if it wasn't for this Christian flag waving.

It's complicated hey? But having spoken to his PA, I've been told to go elsewhere!

I think this is unfair, assuming that you mean you think OP is specifically being anti-Christian. OP hasn't said they merely know the guy to be a Christian, they said the business website was overtly religious. So I would definitely expect an overtly religious business website run by someone of any other religion would have the same effect.

I'm in Australia. It's 4.20 pm here

If his website discusses his faith it is likely a part of his practice. You could ask for an initial phone discussion to ask him about it if you wanted to be sure.

A therapist who declares their religion on their business page is a therapist who incorporates religion into the practice. Some people want a therapist who incorporates a particular religion and it is a selling point.

if a therapist does not use religion, It will not be mentioned on the website at all. There may be some clues in a photo, such as jewelry or clothing that the therapist chooses to wear, but that is the only way you will ever have any idea about their personal beliefs unless you ask explicitly.

I absolute would not take my child to a child psych who declared their religion.

You dont have to take them to anyone ,if they make you feel uncomfortable
Will it be hard to find another one?

There we go then

Yes it will be hard to find another. I live rural and all services like this are hard to come by.

Well the bonus of calling is they were honest and you know where you stand. They aren't right for your child or your family which is completely understandable.
I always feel that religion is beneficial in lots of ways, but when it is rammed down anyone's throat I'm not keen. So I can understand why in this situation you wouldn't be supportive. Your child is impressionable and vulnerable. Fingers crossed you find another!

Anyone can call themself a ‘child psychologist’ so he sounds a bit suspect all round.