To let your child bunk off school?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

My child is very sensitive and shy. He's at secondary school. It's the award ceremony in the next eek and my child doesn't want to be singled out as a 'neek' (???) He'll likely be up for some awards but wants to blend in -not stand out because of the bullying. He's asked to bunk off school to avoid the humiliation.. We've had lots of chats about aiming lower etc... What would you do?

Aiming lower? I’m confused? You’ve encouraged your son NOT to achieve? There’s nothing humiliating about winning an award & you should be encouraging him to be proud of that. Also if he’s being bullied that needs to be tackled head on.

Talk to the school. Explain what is happening and how he feels. Maybe they can announce his award without going up to accept it.

What do you mean by aiming low?

I have spoken to him about all of these things... aiming lower - I mean I have talked to him about being proud of doing well and that not going to school because you're doing well is setting a low bar. Equally, I know full well that sod all is done about being kids being teased for being bright.

It's just sad that there is a culture when achievement is mocked in teens.

You need to talk to the school. Ds goes to a normal secondary. There’s no culture of bullying people who achieve things.

There wasn’t in my, now adult, dds school and there wasn’t in mine either.

That’s the problem.

I agree with the above - you need to talk to the school about this. I wouldn’t allow my DC to skip school in a circumstance like this.

Thank you for your input - much appreciated. I did let him have the day off - and he had won lots of awards. I'll talk to the school about it.

Sounds like you were lucky. There definitely was in my secondary.

I let mine bunk off today. There’s been no timetable or structure all week and the behaviour has deteriorated. He hated it last year and was getting very stressed about it this year.

I'm guessing then that the other pupils still know he is achieving awards so all this has done is kicked the can down the road. I would definitely be talking about this with the teaching staff. Your DS should enjoy feeling proud of his hardwork and not be made to feel less by those who, let's face it, bully because they are jealous of him and don't know how to manage their feelings of inadequacy. School should be supporting those students AND your DS.

Thank you @notsureicandoitagain. I agree - I just don't think I had enough time to see this coming. I went to a school where I was mercilessly bullied for having any aspirations so I do know where he's coming from. I just think it's very sad that aspiring to anything and being well-behaved is so mocked in this, and many other schools. I have tried to explain that the ones doing the mocking won't be laughing for long but I don't think he understands or is trying too hard to fit in.

If the school is not doing much or doing nothing to counteract low level bullying, talk to them first and then think about formally complaining.