Mum who keeps taking photos of us

[Zozo1990]

I have this mum friend from my dd's school. Don't know her too well, not been to her house, she's not been to mine. We've hung out at the coffee shop and had a lunch once or twice. She has confided in me some of her personal problems at home with her hubby. However, I find it odd that everytime we go out with my dd, she always starts making a video of me and dd or taking photos of us! For example, I'll push dd on thr swing and I see her phone out, I was helping her ride a bike and she started making a video, at sports day she started taking photos of us both and I had to say do you mind just doing it on my phone only. She won't even send the photos over until I ask for them. She's not even a close friend, I've only known her for 10 months.

Is this odd behaviour or am I being unreasonable?

It’s a bit off, but I suspect she likes showing people her “great day” and friendship group. It sounds a bit ott but not sinister

I do find it an invasion of my personal space. And I've also communicated that I don't really like having my children on social media with her hoping that she would get the hint.

I’d just firmly say “no photos today” every time she starts and keep repeating.

I would tell her firmly yet politely that you do not want anymore photos or videos taken of you or your kids. I would be really annoyed about this and would put an end to it.

Is the relationship abusive? Could she be taking photos to prove she was out with you?

This. You have no idea what she's doing with those pictures or videos and the Internet can be a creepy place.

No, it's not. She's just not in love with him and is contemplating leaving. She's nice enough but a couple of things have really irked me about her and makes me think she has no self-awareness and is quite self-absorbed. Example, she wanted my dd to miss her ballet class so that I could attend a house viewing with her (it was at 3.30pm and that meant picking our kids up early from school and my dd missing her ballet class at 4pm). She did say she felt awful for suggesting that but she still thought it would be okay for my dd to miss her class.

could it be that she thinks she is capturing 'moments' between you and you DC, that perhaps you might like to have and keep? although i guess if that were the case, she would send them over to you.

does she see herself as an 'influencer', do these videos end up on social media with lots of hashtags?

perhaps have a quiet word with her, it maybe hasn't occured to her that you really don't want clips of your day out recording?

I’d say no, stop recording/taking pictures. I hate being recorded.

I think she’s doing this to show off her friendship with you and your dd. She sounds quite needy and I’d take a step back if she’s making you uncomfortable. I’d start by saying next time she’s taking photos, “just to let you know, we’ve decided we only want our dd on our social media accounts”.

I'm an empath and feel the need to help her and I have done so where I can but I am increasingly becoming uncomfortable around her. I should trust my gut and reduce contact, but I don't want to upset her and add to her stress with what she is going through already within her personal life.

Is "empath" another word for "doormat"? Just set some boundaries: no you can't film us, no you can't photograph my kids, no I can't meet you. Or tell her you don't want to be friends at all, doesn't sound like it'll be much of a loss.

I appreciate what you are saying. Thanks.

Just tell her you don't want you or your DD filmed or photographed. That's not rude, it's perfectly reasonable. She's actually the rude one for filming you without permission!