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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Very silly I know but been bugging me for 8months!

40 replies

WombFor1More · 12/04/2008 13:17

When I had dd 8.5months ago dp ended up delivering her as was a v.quick hb, mw missed it by 5mins. Anyway when all our guests/visitors all turned up in the following days/weeks they all bought dp something, usually alcohol or chocs for him having done such a great job and they all bought dd something whilst I got bugger all!

I know it sounds really silly but I was having this discussion with someone and they just told me not to be so stupid

AIBU to expect a little appreciation for all the extremely hard and painful work I did???

(Only really thinking about it now as I'm due again in Sept)

OP posts:

NoBiggy · 12/04/2008 15:39

YANBU. But it's not at all surprising!

When I had DD2 I was given a house plant. Not good on plants, but it was perhaps a geranium? Little thing, flowers and leaves.

Anyway, at the time I thought it was just another damn thing I was supposed to keep alive!

Difficult to get right I think, the mum's present. And nowhere near as much fun as buying cute teddies and baby clothes.

Trolleydolly71 · 12/04/2008 19:16

Message withdrawn

Triathlete · 12/04/2008 21:29

Bloody hell.

He delivered your child. Let him enjoy some credit for it. A generation ago he'd have been miles away getting drunk with his pals from the golf club.

Not that you shouldn't get loads of recognition as well. I went round for weeks after DS was born telling anyone who would listen that my wife is my hero. She still is.

Elasticwoman · 12/04/2008 23:46

I delivered dd2 myself. Nobody bought me any alcohol and I didn't expect any.

purpleduck · 12/04/2008 23:58

womb
You did stael his stuff right?

PABLOP · 13/04/2008 00:25

wombfor1more, congratulations on your second pregnancy! Make the most of being pregnant, I loved the attention from my family & friends, I felt sooo special. all stopped when ds arrived and he is the only one who gets presents.

wishfort · 13/04/2008 07:04

I always get something for the mum - a brooch or necklace. The important thing is it's not baby-related.

wishfort · 13/04/2008 07:05

Sorry - YANBU.

ibiza1 · 13/04/2008 07:11

i have to say now my friends got me a lovely gift voucher for a swanky hairdresser in town, and mum bought me a few things such as pjs etc.

hubby didnt the one thing annoyed me well not even annoyed but i would have liked him to out balloons up saying its a girl etc, mind u he was with me most of the time in hospital and i had baby at 6pm one day got out next at 1 so he didnt have lots of time.

i do think its nice to buy the siblings something now that i have another one that was what people did for her, and i think that is more important than buying me

Meandmyjoe · 13/04/2008 09:26

Do mums ever get anything for giving birth? I know I didn't! I didn't expect anthing either but I guess it would piss me off if dh got praise whan you did the hard work!

MrsTittleMouse · 13/04/2008 09:37

That's the point isn't it? Not that the DH got praise and gifts, but that Womb didn't.

scanner · 13/04/2008 09:44

dh bough me a present after each baby, they got more modest with each one because we were more and more broke . The best present we received after having had a baby was a friend who sent 6 half bottles of champagne. Half bottle was just enough to open and have one glass each, which we'd do after a particularly exciting moment. First smile, first nights sleep etc.

Psychomum5 · 13/04/2008 09:59

I still get grumpy and remind DH lots over the fact that he never bought me anything when we had each of our 3 girls, yet when I had our first boy (4th baby) he then bought me a diamond eternity ring (altho a big too as it was rather nice)......still seethe about it tho......made me feel as tho our girls weren;t worthy of even flowers!!!!

I dod however get flowers from other people, but besides the point really.......altho tis not on the same level as you tho a it is the other people that pee you off!

I think that if they can buy for him, something small to also acknowledge you is not unreasonable at all......so YANBU!

I have always bought something small for the new mum whenever they have given birth.....be it some small indulgent bubble bath for when ever they can finally escape baby, to porridge oats for flame as they were the one thing she craved throughout her pregnancy with flameboy and couldn't eat cos of sickness!!! I think something for the mum is always needed as TBH, everyone coo's over baby and kind of forgets that the mum has done a marathon hard pregnancy (which the last month always is regardless of how easy the rest was) and birth.

eandh · 13/04/2008 10:00

My dh bought me qn eternity ring after dd1 arrived and a diamond necklace after dd2 (although was joint xmas present!)

MIL gave me some expensive wonderful smellies so that when I was home and my scars had healed (had 2 elective sections) I could relax in the bath and pamper myself (quite because its not something she would normally do)

My Mum got me lovely flowers when dd1 was born and when I came home from having dd2 she bought dd1 home (she'd stayed with my parents)I got a lovely boquet of flowers from 'dd1' (aka my parents) she also bought me new pj's each time as I was fed up of my maternity pj's

Kitti · 14/04/2008 18:04

I got a little gift for my friend because I figured everyone else would get gifts for the baby. I do think it's unfair mums get left out when we do all the hard work.

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