Help with school

[StrawberryShortbread2001]

My DD is in Y7 and has ASD. She doesn't have an EHCP as she was refused an EHCNA.

She was having an anxiety attack yesterday as she was scared of performing in Drama. I got her into school but we were late. Her lovely Learning mentor came down assessed the situation through talking to us/observing DD and put a plan into place - she would take her for a walk in the garden to calm her, then she could stay with her LM in her office over Drama. So this was agreed between DD, me and her LM and DD knew exactly what was going to happen. But when she was calm and happy with her LM the attendance officer decided to interfere and kept telling my DD to go to Drama. She made her unsettled and left her crying. Later when DD went to lunch she told her 'don't come back'. When she is meant to be able to go to her LM for support. I've asked to speak to someone about this, this morning as it was making it hard for DD to go in. I just got a message saying no one would call me and if DD didn't go in she would be marked down as unauthorised and referred to the attendance team at the LA!!

How would you respond to this?

[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying information]

Bump

You escalate it.

Get a meeting with the HOY or whoever is next up the chain from the LM, and her form tutor.

My DD has ASD and ADHD I found face to face meetings useful for this and I would position it as a meeting about trying to avoid DD starting to refuse school.

It's also an opportunity to talk to your DD about sometimes having to do stuff that makes us a bit uncomfortable but finding courage through that fear is something you are really proud of her for.

After the school meeting you reply back on email summarising the discussion and make sure they have agreed to share any conclusions with DDs teachers.

Absolutely escalate it, email not phone and then you have a track of conversations.
Your daughter is going to have no trust in the school and end up school avoiding.

I've had very little luck in escalating anything tbh. They just lie.

I've been asking for 3 weeks for a meeting as soon as we get back from summer and just been ignored.

And yeah, I already talk to her about that all the time as she really struggles.

I will just continue to pursue a meeting. They have Sports day tomorrow. Then it's the last day. I feel like refusing to move from reception until someone gives me a date for a meeting!!

HOY is useless anyway so the only person I can escalate it to is the Head.

Just to confirm what we discussed. You told me that despite LM making a plan with E that she could do work in her office for lesson 2 due to E's extreme anxiety about Drama you took it upon yourself to unsettle E by trying to make her go to Drama. You told me that you did that as despite E following the plan made by her Learning Mentor she was going to be suspended.

I have now told you countless times E needs consistency. Plans cannot keep being changed. LM knows this very well and is brilliant with E. My daughter doesn't even know who you are and you think it is appropriate for you to ignore LM's plan and upset and unsettle my daughter and make her cry? It is not appropriate. And it puts more barriers in place for my daughter in accessing her education as it breaks down trust. I would have thought this was blindingly obvious.

This is what I emailed after the attendance officer phoned me this morning to tell me it was her that upset my DD and that her LM's plan was actually to take her to Drama. This is what I mean by they lie.

Is that any good?

Sorry your school have been so rubbish. I'm dreading yr7 with my 10 yr old as he has anxiety issues. I would echo, that you need to push for a meeting with the head and LM, and also the attendance officer, so that everyone is on the same page. Yes, keep a record of what happened, but i wouldn't start arguing your case in emails. I think you need to be clear that you want a meeting before/at the start of the next term (date set now) with these 3 people, and at that meeting aim to get it agreed that where LM has put measures in place, others (Attendance officer, teachers) don't start trying to change them ad hoc. Make it very clear that if your DD is to continue attending school, then she needs to have confidence they are going to support her.

Not sure if you've realised OP, but your daughter's name is in your first post. You might want to edit her name out. X

I think your email needs to be brief and to the point which is that you want a meeting with relevant staff ie Learning Mentor, Attendance Officer, Head of Year and your self ( possibly the SENCO as well)

Such as

Following the problems we had getting my daughter, E, into school this morning, please could we arrange a date for a meeting with LM, AO and HOY at the start of next term to discuss consistent strategies which can be written into an IEP to prevent this from happening again. I am obviously concerned on the impact such incidents have on her attendance.

I retired from being a SENCO a few years ago and at my school, I would have been involved with your daughter. I assume IEPs are still used!

Assuming your child is going into Year 6 in September, you should be asking for extra transition visits for your son to give him opportunities to become familiar with the school. Discuss your concerns with the Primary School SENCO to flag them up, they should be telling the Secondary School of any pupils that will need extra support.

As SENCO, I went to meetings at the Primary School to talk about strategies that we could put in place - giving child an example of the timetable to understand different lessons/rooms, provide a map of the school with key rooms marked ( form room, toilets, dining room, quiet room etc) and arrange a visit out of school hours when the building is quiet.

Planning with the Secondary School is key!

We used to take photos of key places, like the hall, entrance area, Learning Support, toilets, so they had some knowledge. It wasn’t always possible to photograph key people because that might change between the end of term and September.

Maps, colour coded timetables when available and as much TA support as possible at the start of term.

Email is good but you are missing an ask on it, it's just an account of what happened and its impact. You need an "ask" ....what is the outcome you want basically.

It's so frustrating because I will have a meeting, think everyone is on the same page and then it all starts again. I have told the attendance officer so many times that they need to stick to the plans and not keep changing things.

I have emailed everyone about a meeting 3 times now and noone replies. I just had an email from DD's new HOY introducing herself. I've replied to that asking for a meeting - I've given a date and time and asked if she is free.

Ah, thank you!

I've basically sent that message about 3 times in the last couple of weeks and got no response. I've just tried the new HOY.

I honestly don't want the attendance officer involved because she has no understanding whatsoever about autism. I'm sick of trying to explain things to her. She's the most useless attendance officer because all she does is make DC not want to come to school because of her behaviour!

I asked for an IEP but was told she couldn't have one as they did not have medical evidence!!

I think you need to throw in something about disability and reasonable adjustment. ' Due to x's diagnosed disability, reasonable adjustments need to be made (as per the 2010 Eqiality Act) such as the one in place for her yesterday instigated by her LM. It seems that x has been the victim of a lack of joined up thinking and I would like a meeting to discuss how her needs and reasonable adjustments are communicated to all staff (not just teaching staff and those directly involved with her via the SEND department). I am now in a situation where we have gone from x having anxiety attending Drama only to her having meltdowns about attending school at all. Please could we discuss this as a matter of urgency so things are in place for September.

I best there is a SENCO and LM spitting feathers over what has happened. The attendance officer needs more training.

For the attendance officer to fuck off and leave me and my DD alone! 😂 Not sure I could write that, though!!

Does she have an official diagnosis?

IEP is now a MyPlan. You do not need any medical evidence for a MyPlan - it's the first step in the SEN graduated pathway and can be for many different needs - cognition, social, emotional etc.

You can apply for an EHCP as a parent - worth looking into (currently doing this for my eldest)

Senco? Even without EHCP the senco should be supporting

governors will also have a named person responsible but you should go to the head first

I certainly get the impression that the LM is very frustrated at things that other members of staff have done.

I don't know about the SENCo. I find her a bit of a mystery. She is a nice woman but impossible to get hold of. Rarely will answer an email, not always in meetings. I get the impression she doesn't have enough time to do the SENCo job as she teaches as well. Is that usual? I mean I'm not surprised she doesn't have enough time. Surely it should be a full time post? The head will go on about the school being mainstream and that they can't give DD the support she needs but then the SENCo tells the LA that they can meet her needs.

You are right there is no joined up thinking!

Yes, she has autism.

They still call it an IEP here. I have been told by the LA she should have one.

I have applied for an EHCNA but it was turned down as the school said they could meet her needs but the LA can see there is no plan in place!

Not sure on your area but look into speaking to inclusion or SENDIASS (or equivalents!)

It's bloody hard work to get people to actually do what they should be for our children.

Keep going!

Ask for a meeting with the Sendco and head of year in September to discuss how they are going to support your DD. Refer to the Sen code of practice assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7dcb85ed915d2ac884d995/SEND_Code_of_Practice_January_2015.pdf

Particularly section 6.2 which states that "Every school is required to identify and address the SEN of the pupils that they support" including "use their best endeavours to make sure that a child with SEN gets the support they need – this means doing everything they can to meet children and young people’s SEN"

Have a look on the school website for their SEN information report - this should state how the school supports students with SEN. If they are not doing what they say they are, highlight this as well!

If you google your Local authority"local offer" it should also tell you what is expected in your area.

Do everything by email so you have a paper trail.

Reference the need for the school to assess and plan support given her diagnosis and the need to include parents in the planning of any provision needed.

I can't get hold of the SENCo!

I've just had an email from the SEN department at the LA. She is going to organise a Team around the child meeting for the day and time I've suggested.

She has told me to apply for mediation now so I can then appeal the decision not to assess.