Need advice for friend

[Chester23]

Sorry not aibu but really need advice.
My friend has a daughter who is 20. She has a baby. Her and baby's dad aren't together but he's making her life hell. I've told her to speak with non emergency police/try get legal advice. I had my friend crying at work yesterday because the stress is too much. She has tried to do the right thing and help him get a job where we work but deeply regrets this now. Her daughter has told her if it wasn't for the baby she wouldn't be here anymore.

In my opinion he is harassing her, something she told me yesterday sounds like he is boardline stalking her too.
If she goes out she gets bombarded with messages and phone calls calling her a slag, asking who she is with etc baring in mind he has a new girlfriend. If he find out she's been anywhere she receives these types of phone calls. She stayed in a hotel the other night (council put her up) and he found out where she was. They don't know how but believe through some app that they used to have that shares locations. He even rings my friend giving her abuse, shouting about where her daughter has been.

Does anyone have any other advice I can give her? I'm genuinely worried as ive never seen her like this

Call the police and get advice, call Women's Aid who will also advise of the best course of action. She shouldn't have to deal with that.

With the phone if she can just get rid and get a new phone completely. Just send him one message before saying that the only way to contact her is email set an a new email address just for him to contact her on (if he takes her to court about seeing the child then she looks reasonable). Then on the new phone block his number straight away. If unable to get a new phone/sim then I'd take important things like photos and contact off and then factory reset it so that all apps are gone and she has to start again. They might have used an app before and he could be using that now to track her, but he could have added other apps to her phone without her knowledge.

Police usually say to then log every incident with them, so she should do that. Also keep a diary of everything.

If he seeing their child? What are the circumstances regarding that? Might be worth having a third party manage the pick up away from her home, or doing pick up in a public place like a busy car park, or getting pick ups and drop offs through school so they never have direct contact with each other. Does she have worries about his behaviour towards the child?

He sounds very controlling and his behaviour is worrying. His behaviour may escalate as he loses more control so she should get support now. If his behaviour continues then sometimes the police will put in a non-molestation order but I was told having a record of ongoing behaviours is how best to get it.

Oh also ring doorbell and a camera (could put it in the upstairs window pointing out if screwing it in is a hassle) can be a detterant.

Mental health wise she needs to get to the GP immediately. She needs talking therapy, possibly meds. If she can't get a gp appointment then got to a&e as she isn't having good thoughts and she needs to put her oxygen mask on before her child's.

Screen shot everything.. Do not answer phone calls.

As far as I'm aware while her daughter is at home she is trying to facilitate the drop offs/pick ups and when/if her daughter manages to get a house of her own she wants to carry on with them at her house so he doesn't have to know where she lives.

Thank you for the advice @BookArt I will pass this on to her.

Tell your friend to block his number and switch on the function on her phone to block unknown numbers

Her daughter can contact the National Stalking Helpline

She can buy a new phone and block his number and numbers from unknown numbers.

She needs a doorbell that records, Eufy do a good one

She needs to keep a diary of all harassment of the ex

She needs to contact the police and speak to them about it

She could contact her local domestic abuse organisation for advice

There's an app you can download that acts as a personal alarm that she can download onto her phone. Hollieguard

Block his number. (Your friend and her daughter)

All future communications via a dedicated email.

Look at the apps on her phone and delete any that could he sharing her location.

Warn him that all future abuse will be shared with police.

Keep records of messages so far.

Does he work with you? If he has sent abusive messages to your friend, report them to your line manager. Totally unacceptable within the workplace.

Luckily he doesn't work with us. He had interview, was looking as though he was going to get job but they got more applications. As it's got worse, I spoke with my team leader (my friend works in different department but ours intertwine), and he has spoken to my manager so he will not get a job with us.

I will pass all this helpful information on