I think ADHD gets a lot more dispute as to whether it’s ‘real’ or not, especially as inattentiveness can be down to all sorts of factors, including a disorganised, chaotic home life or poor diet. I do think ADHD is legitimate, but it also gets used as a scapegoat unfortunately.
ASD does also get a lot of dispute, and with going through the early intervention process right now myself with my own child, I find the biggest barrier to be the LA, and how they are allocating funding, or lack thereof. Local authorities are cutting back on SEN funding and have tightened the diagnostic criteria for EHCP’s. From my perspective, not every child with ASD will need an EHCP, because they’re really designed for children with higher needs within the education system. An EHCP might allocate funding for 1:1 TA support in school which in some cases is very much needed. But with the lack of funding and lack of staff there are many children with ASD who are falling through the cracks and that’s just not good enough IMO. Especially with things like early intervention, which is supposed to help reduce the likelihood for higher support needs later on, particularly with children who are showing signs of being able to integrate into a mainstream education environment, it would make more sense for the government to spend money at this stage, surely saving government money down the road. A child without a diagnoses can still be under SEN in a school setting and gain access to support, but it’s a postcode lottery as to whether that support is accessed or not.
There is a huge misconception around the term ‘label’ IMO where adults think that by pursuing a diagnoses that it will make it harder for their children, where sometimes a diagnoses can be incredibly helpful. It’s not just about gaining access to support and funding, it’s also about that individual understanding how their brain works. Parental ignorance and denial is akin to gaslighting, which is emotional abuse. It places the needs of the adult before the child. A child with a denial of having autism is going to end up with serious low self-esteem, and that is detrimental.
As for adults with undiagnosed autism, and I’d count myself in this group, I went through my childhood with nothing being picked up on at all, just instead being told I was lacking in an array of fundamental qualities that everyone else seemed to have, and so it’s safe to say that this has had an affect into adulthood.
There is also the elephant in the room where a lot of ‘high functioning’ autistic adults don’t like their ND to be seen as a disability, and it’s a very personal thing, and it’s about self-identity. But this can also undermine where adults with ASD can and do struggle with every day life. It’s a delicate subject in general.
Lastly, don’t go thinking that parents going through having an autistic child, or a child with a developmental delay realistically want to be in that position. It’s a very different parenting journey and it can be heartbreaking, isolating and lonely. There’s a lot of good to found in it too, and these children are also having their version of a ‘normal’ childhood, but it’s not some trendy label that we are shouting from the rooftops. It can and is very hard not knowing what the future holds for my child, and knowing that he’s already at a disadvantage compared to his typically developing peers. I’ll advocate for him until I’m blue in the face.