Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else noticing the uptick in open hostility towards people with ASD?

949 replies

FFSakeDrinkSake · 17/07/2024 03:05

As the title says. It feels like it's open season recently. In the last few weeks alone I've seen many threads questioning the validity of Asd, the credentials of those diagnosing the condition, the 'explosion' of diagnosis', the 'fact' that you qualify for extra benefits if you are autistic and/or have ADHD, the apparent drain on resources kids with ASD have on the educational sector depriving others and most recently the idea that someone (self diagnosed) can 'outgrow' autism. Most of which contain the worst misinformation about what we're trying to deal with on a daily basis and making it sound like we're just trying to .. i dont even know tbh.. scam our way through life?

Disclaimer NATAAT.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
PoliteCritic · 18/07/2024 14:46

@Perzival I totally agree. My friend has a teenager with complex needs who goes to a special school. Her DD needs help with everything. She will always need a 1-1 carer. She can access education and is more profoundly disabled than many children who may as adults be able to live in supported accommodation or in their own place with some support. For a start she will be providing 1-1 care until she no longer can.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 14:49

Noras · 18/07/2024 14:24

Seriously what sort of ASD do people have experience of here?

My experience is my lovely ASD boy when younger literally beating my arm black and blue because I terrified him trying to get him when young into town to see a show. I realised never to try to walk him at night into town until he was a lot older.

I would take him to a shop and he would hide in amongst the clothes and lie down.

He got accidentally locked in a changing room at school so now trying clothes on he needs someone to stand just outside to protect him / make sure he can get out.

My experience is crazily spending money on birthday parties for him and inviting his entire class. He would just run away from the venue. I learnt not to waste money.

My experience is trying to make him queue for a plane check in and he told the check in desk that we had ‘ dangerous substances in our bag’ I was told told by the airline to never do that again and fast track at all times. ( it was a Beano sling - he was about 9). We have fast tracked since. We have decided with social services that we get one holiday a year without him and take him on one holiday. In my head I don’t want him to miss out but increasingly I realise it’s quite a hard effort. He kicks off for the first 50% of the time but decides when he gets home that it was ‘enjoyable!?’

As a child he thought that he had the wrong top on for school and ran completely to the end of the park towards traffic as we had broken a rule. The cars in the road were less of a threat than the wrong top.

The bushes on the pavement were more of a threat than the cars in the road - so he would avoid the bushes and walk on the road.

He would get enraged by street clutter eg bins and signs etc He would accidentally walk into them and get more upset.

As for non uniform day - what hell on earth was that! Literally we had to check recheck and check again and even then there would be distress and an outburst. He was petrified and shaking. I loathed non uniform day.

End of term or sports day at secondary, school even said ‘don’t come in’. I mean a school party equalled his idea of Hell. Anything like that and they took him to the library.

Change of teacher or a classroom - absolute panic stations and PA would withdraw him . It’s the wrong room on repeat.

Don’t even start on Christmas! Presents petrified him - what is in the box - think about why that might be! We would try to engage him until lunch
and then he bolted upstairs with a book. Presents meant surprised which meant change.

Menus - what do I order, so many choices. We gave him 3 choices from a menu. We had a scene when he went out with a PA expecting one place it was closed so we told them to go to another. Sure enough there was a bit of a melt down.

There was no way we could just carry on and act as if his ASD was not in existence.

To ask him to just ‘carry on’ would be like asking a NT person to swim in a tank full of sharks. When he is petrified, he is petrified.

I'm just amazed at the support you've had. Don't get me wrong, good for you. I suppose, I just wish my DD would get the support she needs.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 18/07/2024 14:51

@Laughingoverspiltmilk
We have similar in our family. Without Covid, DS would never have been assessed and his ADHD identified. DH would never have gone 'OMG that explains my entire life' and been assessed and his ADHD identified. I wouldn't have gone into autistic burnout (which I still slip back into at a touch of a button so not sure I'm actually out of it) at the same point that we have ND on our heads and actually understand how the assessment world works, and so would probably never have been assessed for autism (or not for years more), and I certainly wouldn't have been assessed for ADHD.

I'm on the waiting list for assessment now, having 'passed' the triage. Two year wait though. Can't do self-diagnosis though - ones of the things I'm very black and white about.

lovelysunshine22 · 18/07/2024 15:01

frankincenseandoranges · 18/07/2024 13:48

Wow, having the same expectations of your autistic child as your non-autistic child is a surefire way to end up with a chronically depressed adult child who has no self esteem or ability to meet their needs.

Except my two ds are both doing really well in adulthood in employment that allows them to use their strengths and neither is depressed at all!

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:03

Perzival · 18/07/2024 14:37

I disagree, the lack of appropriate education doesn't make your daughter more disabled. It means she is being failed in her education. If your nephew lost his educational placement or that placement was essentially just babysitting rather than educating would you still view your daughter as more disabled? I don't think it's very complex, I think sometimes people justify their needs or their child's needs by viewing their disability as worse when it isn't or may not be. I don't know your daughter or nephew so I can't say but on the face of it, I would still view your nephew as more disabled.

What a horrible conversation. I really don't mean any insult and am just trying to put my point across. As I said earlier your opinion is just as valid as mine if different.

If my DN wasn't getting an education because of his SEN then as far as education goes they'd both be disabled equally by it. But as it is that isn't the case, he's not going to be kicked out of his school. He is able to access education. My DD due to her SEN is not.

It's not a competition of who is more disabled than another. And I find that a very simplistic way of looking at it.

The point being that in some ways DD is more affected by her autism than DN is. Maybe education isn't a good example, but it was one of the things that I don't think certain parents with DC at SS realise. They may think my DC is lucky that they can go to mainstream. When the reality is her needs are not met in mainstream so she doesn't get an education.

PoliteCritic · 18/07/2024 15:03

@Noras your DC is like the children with ASD I used to work with in the nineties. It is a totally different kettle of fish from some children diagnosed now whose needs are less. One of my friends a teacher was recently diagnosed with ASD. She was a high achiever at school, went to university and holds down a responsible job. I can see her needs, but it is totally different to your DC.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:06

PoliteCritic · 18/07/2024 14:46

@Perzival I totally agree. My friend has a teenager with complex needs who goes to a special school. Her DD needs help with everything. She will always need a 1-1 carer. She can access education and is more profoundly disabled than many children who may as adults be able to live in supported accommodation or in their own place with some support. For a start she will be providing 1-1 care until she no longer can.

I will probably be doing that too. As I said my DD gets the highest rate of DLA for care. But my DD is not able to access an education. And she's not alone.

Perzival · 18/07/2024 15:16

WaitingForMojo · 18/07/2024 12:13

I hope you don’t mind me asking this and again, I want to be respectful, I’m genuinely interested in your perspective.

I know a lot of people say that in these cases, the issue is a concurrent learning disability rather than the autism itself? Or other co-occurring conditions. I wondered whether that reflects your experience, or do you feel that it’s the autism that is overwhelmingly negative for your child?

I do think there’s a risk when people say this of ‘othering’ and distancing non verbal / learning disabled autistic people from the rest of us and therefore not advocating for them.

I also know that the negatives for at least one of my dc could be attributed to concurrent mental health difficulties etc, when actually I think these things are part of their autistic presentation.

Hi, yes I have heard this many times. I do think some people have severe autism and some people have autism and severe ld.

I do think that some people with autism who are advocates or autism self advocates do other this part of the autism community for a few reasons:-

It goes against their narrative especially where that narrative is of neurotribes.

It shows autism at it's worst and not the Dan Akroyd etc al successful and flourishing type.

It is seen as diminishing their needs (I believe aside from the Hitler link, part of the reason the dxs were merged was due to the way the non classical autism was seen as milder and therefore not worthy of investment, funding or services).

I read a decent article about it some time ago, I'll try to find it.

We had an inde ep/ cp (very well known and highly regarded) assess ds for his transition to high school (tribunal over provision) we outright asked about ld. He doesn't have ld but he is impacted severly by the various subsets that he was assessed under. A formal ld dx can't be given likewise a iq value couldn't be made (although if it was ot would still be low but as the test is developed for nt people he is being measured in a way which isn't fair). We were categorically told he doesn't have learning disability so I won't refer to him as having that. His autism dx does refer to severe autism though so I'm comfortable using that as a descriptor.

Ds has limited verbal communication skills, has and does use aac etc. He was non verbal completely however he has always been hyperlexic even when non verbal and knows nouns in many languages. These aren't useful skills he doesn't understand what he reads. He could be reading a telephone book or directions or a letter but he wouldn't understand it or act on it. In terms of the other languages he can't use them in any meaningful way, I wish he could. I'd learn any language to baable to know what's he's thinking or wants to communicate. Imagine a teenager randomly saying house in Russion followed by tree in Spanish while sat in the lounge bit cannot answer if he's hurt, if he's hungry, if he needs anything (although we know how to read him). He can learn clearly but on his terms and his interests and can't apply that or rarely applies it. He likes patterns and repeated patterns so alphabets and numbers. He can count and uses that regulate but couldn't use it to time, play hide and seek or do math. He knows the alphabet order of letters but can't write or type a basic letter but can retype something he would use to regulate incredibly quickly (like ecolelia but via keyboard without relevance although we always assume competence so across on it, talk about, question it, get it etc). I dont really want to discuss hygiene etc as it isn't needed/ appropriate but you can guess.

Ds also regressed when he was a toddler- he lost all his learnt skills to that point and the few words he had more or less overnight. It was awful. He was just gone, his personality everything.

Our older son is very bright and will likely get 4a*'s in maths, further maths, chemistry and physics at alevel (no dx or signs of autism, no mh, just a norm teenager). We often wonder how our youngest would be and suspect he would be similar without his autism.

I know there is a least one ep on here so to give an idea his newsy ii scaled score was 1,his wisc-5 subsets were all extremely low (one less than 0.1) and one was very low (fluid reasoning was a 9). With a statement about ld not being able to be diagnosed and the components of his autism.

I think both mh and ld should be talked about as separate to autism while I recognise the impact they have on each other. You can have any of them as a stand alone dx or all of them and they do impact on presentation. It would be clearer all around if severe autism had a set meaning and not severe mh or severe ld.

I hope I've answered that well enough. I'm happy to engage and discuss respectfully but don't want to go down the road that these threads often do.

frankincenseandoranges · 18/07/2024 15:19

lovelysunshine22 · 18/07/2024 15:01

Except my two ds are both doing really well in adulthood in employment that allows them to use their strengths and neither is depressed at all!

Well they wouldn't tell you if they were, would they?

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 18/07/2024 15:20

Perzival · 18/07/2024 14:37

I disagree, the lack of appropriate education doesn't make your daughter more disabled. It means she is being failed in her education. If your nephew lost his educational placement or that placement was essentially just babysitting rather than educating would you still view your daughter as more disabled? I don't think it's very complex, I think sometimes people justify their needs or their child's needs by viewing their disability as worse when it isn't or may not be. I don't know your daughter or nephew so I can't say but on the face of it, I would still view your nephew as more disabled.

What a horrible conversation. I really don't mean any insult and am just trying to put my point across. As I said earlier your opinion is just as valid as mine if different.

Isn't this where the social model of disability comes in? The DD mentioned is being held back, having her difficulties increased by a barrier, in this case literally created by society because we know there are better ways but they're not available for all the children who need them.

PoliteCritic · 18/07/2024 15:25

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:06

I will probably be doing that too. As I said my DD gets the highest rate of DLA for care. But my DD is not able to access an education. And she's not alone.

If she can dress and wash herself and go to the toilet alone, then she is unlikely to need 1-1 care as an adult. She may be fine in supported accommodation or even living close to you with you popping in every day. People can get the highest rate of PIP and not get 24 hour 1-1 care.

PoliteCritic · 18/07/2024 15:26

frankincenseandoranges · 18/07/2024 15:19

Well they wouldn't tell you if they were, would they?

People without neurodiversity get depressed as well anyway. Life is often hard for everyone.

summershere99 · 18/07/2024 15:26

I haven't read all the replies, so not sure if this has been covered. I'm not sure if there is an increase in hostility or not. I have 'NT' children (though I dislike that terminology) and actually think it's one of the issues when talking about ASD that creates a division (and so yes, perhaps some hostility / frustration).

I do think there are times when ALL behaviour of children with SEN is put down to them having SEN and is rarely, if ever, considered to be as a result of poor parenting. But almost every negative behaviour of DC when you have 'NT' children is blamed on the parenting.

So yes, parents of SEN children can, and do, use the diagnosis to not take responsibility for the behaviour of their child in school or other situations in a way that parents of NT children are very rarely allowed to do. I don't have an 'excuse' for my DCs behaviour. But that doesn't mean that my DC are going to find all social situations easy and I struggle with this expectation (often implied on here) that NT children should be displaying close to perfect and age-appropriate behaviour.

I also think that trying to provide for all children - regardless of SEN - in a regular school setting is just not working. It does sometimes mean that teachers are having to spend a huge amount of energy on a small number of children, at the expense of 25 others. It's not sustainable. And I totally get why as a parent you want the best for your child.. and if they have high needs you want them to have the attention and support they need. But those parents need to remember that there are other children in that class who also have needs that are not being met, or who need to be kept safe from a child who is having violent outbursts. And yes, education is of course every child's right, but that doesn't mean they should all be in the same setting. I really think there needs to be a huge shift in the types of school settings on offer so that all children can receive the support they need. But the system at the moment is broken.

Noras · 18/07/2024 15:36

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 14:49

I'm just amazed at the support you've had. Don't get me wrong, good for you. I suppose, I just wish my DD would get the support she needs.

He’s an adult and I have only had social care since then. I could refuse to care and that would cost 2000 per week.

He had OT / SALT because he has complex needs eg SLI / motor etc - his language is on 1 and his motor on 0.5 percentile.

NineChickennuggets · 18/07/2024 15:43

"I do think there are times when ALL behaviour of children with SEN is put down to them having SEN and is rarely, if ever, considered to be as a result of poor parenting."

When you child has severe sn you still get the blame or are not believed.eg that you are not telling the truth about what happens at home, that your child isn't showing behaviours at home that they show at school and that all professionals must be better and know more than parents. You don't get an easy ride just because your child is severely disabled

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:44

PoliteCritic · 18/07/2024 15:25

If she can dress and wash herself and go to the toilet alone, then she is unlikely to need 1-1 care as an adult. She may be fine in supported accommodation or even living close to you with you popping in every day. People can get the highest rate of PIP and not get 24 hour 1-1 care.

She's unable to do all those things unfortunately. She needs a lot of support at night too.

LlamaNoDrama · 18/07/2024 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Like where/who? Have you reported them? I doubt it because no one who makes these accusations ever does 🙄

It doesn't matter what alre to say the child will be assessed, there is standardised testing parents will not be involved in, they look at other evidence. Children don't get diagnosed just because parents say they exhibit certain behaviour.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:45

My DS will hopefully be ok in supported accommodation.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:46

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 18/07/2024 15:20

Isn't this where the social model of disability comes in? The DD mentioned is being held back, having her difficulties increased by a barrier, in this case literally created by society because we know there are better ways but they're not available for all the children who need them.

That's it. She is literally being disabled by not being able to access education.

Laughingoverspiltmilk · 18/07/2024 15:49

summershere99 · 18/07/2024 15:26

I haven't read all the replies, so not sure if this has been covered. I'm not sure if there is an increase in hostility or not. I have 'NT' children (though I dislike that terminology) and actually think it's one of the issues when talking about ASD that creates a division (and so yes, perhaps some hostility / frustration).

I do think there are times when ALL behaviour of children with SEN is put down to them having SEN and is rarely, if ever, considered to be as a result of poor parenting. But almost every negative behaviour of DC when you have 'NT' children is blamed on the parenting.

So yes, parents of SEN children can, and do, use the diagnosis to not take responsibility for the behaviour of their child in school or other situations in a way that parents of NT children are very rarely allowed to do. I don't have an 'excuse' for my DCs behaviour. But that doesn't mean that my DC are going to find all social situations easy and I struggle with this expectation (often implied on here) that NT children should be displaying close to perfect and age-appropriate behaviour.

I also think that trying to provide for all children - regardless of SEN - in a regular school setting is just not working. It does sometimes mean that teachers are having to spend a huge amount of energy on a small number of children, at the expense of 25 others. It's not sustainable. And I totally get why as a parent you want the best for your child.. and if they have high needs you want them to have the attention and support they need. But those parents need to remember that there are other children in that class who also have needs that are not being met, or who need to be kept safe from a child who is having violent outbursts. And yes, education is of course every child's right, but that doesn't mean they should all be in the same setting. I really think there needs to be a huge shift in the types of school settings on offer so that all children can receive the support they need. But the system at the moment is broken.

This is actually a really good explanation of one of the reasons the hostility is increasing. Parents of NT kids are seeing their children impacted by poor support provisions for autistic children (and of course no child should have to be in fear of physical violence at school). As always happens (and this is is prevalent across lots of area that it seems to be human nature so I'm not targeting this particular poster here), rather than the hostility being focused on the lack of resources to facilitate inclusion (or to allow for separate provision where appropriate), it's on the disabled people trying to live their lives.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:50

summershere99 · 18/07/2024 15:26

I haven't read all the replies, so not sure if this has been covered. I'm not sure if there is an increase in hostility or not. I have 'NT' children (though I dislike that terminology) and actually think it's one of the issues when talking about ASD that creates a division (and so yes, perhaps some hostility / frustration).

I do think there are times when ALL behaviour of children with SEN is put down to them having SEN and is rarely, if ever, considered to be as a result of poor parenting. But almost every negative behaviour of DC when you have 'NT' children is blamed on the parenting.

So yes, parents of SEN children can, and do, use the diagnosis to not take responsibility for the behaviour of their child in school or other situations in a way that parents of NT children are very rarely allowed to do. I don't have an 'excuse' for my DCs behaviour. But that doesn't mean that my DC are going to find all social situations easy and I struggle with this expectation (often implied on here) that NT children should be displaying close to perfect and age-appropriate behaviour.

I also think that trying to provide for all children - regardless of SEN - in a regular school setting is just not working. It does sometimes mean that teachers are having to spend a huge amount of energy on a small number of children, at the expense of 25 others. It's not sustainable. And I totally get why as a parent you want the best for your child.. and if they have high needs you want them to have the attention and support they need. But those parents need to remember that there are other children in that class who also have needs that are not being met, or who need to be kept safe from a child who is having violent outbursts. And yes, education is of course every child's right, but that doesn't mean they should all be in the same setting. I really think there needs to be a huge shift in the types of school settings on offer so that all children can receive the support they need. But the system at the moment is broken.

The point is we don't want our DC in the wrong setting, but we have no choice. And so if they have to go to mainstream we will fight with everything we've got to get their needs met. And if you feel your DC's needs are not being met then you can do the same.

Perzival · 18/07/2024 15:51

By the same token there are children being denied education for many reasons some nothing to do with disability at all. That wouldn't make them more disabled than someone with say pmld who attends a school.

@WaitingForMojo I had a quick search for that article but can't see it. I did see a huge amount though by googling profound autism all similar discussions to this in various ways.

WaitingForMojo · 18/07/2024 15:51

Perzival · 18/07/2024 15:16

Hi, yes I have heard this many times. I do think some people have severe autism and some people have autism and severe ld.

I do think that some people with autism who are advocates or autism self advocates do other this part of the autism community for a few reasons:-

It goes against their narrative especially where that narrative is of neurotribes.

It shows autism at it's worst and not the Dan Akroyd etc al successful and flourishing type.

It is seen as diminishing their needs (I believe aside from the Hitler link, part of the reason the dxs were merged was due to the way the non classical autism was seen as milder and therefore not worthy of investment, funding or services).

I read a decent article about it some time ago, I'll try to find it.

We had an inde ep/ cp (very well known and highly regarded) assess ds for his transition to high school (tribunal over provision) we outright asked about ld. He doesn't have ld but he is impacted severly by the various subsets that he was assessed under. A formal ld dx can't be given likewise a iq value couldn't be made (although if it was ot would still be low but as the test is developed for nt people he is being measured in a way which isn't fair). We were categorically told he doesn't have learning disability so I won't refer to him as having that. His autism dx does refer to severe autism though so I'm comfortable using that as a descriptor.

Ds has limited verbal communication skills, has and does use aac etc. He was non verbal completely however he has always been hyperlexic even when non verbal and knows nouns in many languages. These aren't useful skills he doesn't understand what he reads. He could be reading a telephone book or directions or a letter but he wouldn't understand it or act on it. In terms of the other languages he can't use them in any meaningful way, I wish he could. I'd learn any language to baable to know what's he's thinking or wants to communicate. Imagine a teenager randomly saying house in Russion followed by tree in Spanish while sat in the lounge bit cannot answer if he's hurt, if he's hungry, if he needs anything (although we know how to read him). He can learn clearly but on his terms and his interests and can't apply that or rarely applies it. He likes patterns and repeated patterns so alphabets and numbers. He can count and uses that regulate but couldn't use it to time, play hide and seek or do math. He knows the alphabet order of letters but can't write or type a basic letter but can retype something he would use to regulate incredibly quickly (like ecolelia but via keyboard without relevance although we always assume competence so across on it, talk about, question it, get it etc). I dont really want to discuss hygiene etc as it isn't needed/ appropriate but you can guess.

Ds also regressed when he was a toddler- he lost all his learnt skills to that point and the few words he had more or less overnight. It was awful. He was just gone, his personality everything.

Our older son is very bright and will likely get 4a*'s in maths, further maths, chemistry and physics at alevel (no dx or signs of autism, no mh, just a norm teenager). We often wonder how our youngest would be and suspect he would be similar without his autism.

I know there is a least one ep on here so to give an idea his newsy ii scaled score was 1,his wisc-5 subsets were all extremely low (one less than 0.1) and one was very low (fluid reasoning was a 9). With a statement about ld not being able to be diagnosed and the components of his autism.

I think both mh and ld should be talked about as separate to autism while I recognise the impact they have on each other. You can have any of them as a stand alone dx or all of them and they do impact on presentation. It would be clearer all around if severe autism had a set meaning and not severe mh or severe ld.

I hope I've answered that well enough. I'm happy to engage and discuss respectfully but don't want to go down the road that these threads often do.

Thanks so much for this response. I have no wish to go down the route these discussions often take, either, it’s horrible and not at all helpful for anyone.

Your ds sounds wonderful and what I can tell is that he has such a lot of love and support from you, and I hope he is happy in himself, whatever form that happiness takes for him.

I may disagree with you on some points but actually, not in any major way. I don’t feel I have a right to comment on what your DS’s disability should be labelled as, or whether without his autism he would still have a low IQ, because i don’t know him and you do. You are his voice as he can’t speak for himself and i don’t feel that anyone has a right to argue with what you know of your own child and your lives.

I also do feel that your dc is disabled in a way that I, and my children, are not. Others might disagree with me but the fact is that my children have a possibility of an independent life, and can hopefully be taught to advocate for themselves and find their niche, even if that doesn’t look like what we’re taught to think of as normality or success. I only hope for them that it will make them happy, regardless of whether they work, have relationships, etc. i understand that your ds won’t be doing any of those things and that situation is undeniably different from mine.

I do hope there’s some way of these kinds of dialogue not becoming an us and them thing. It really shouldn’t be a competition and I hope you won’t feel hostility from verbal autistic adults in general, because I have massive amounts of respect for the sacrifices and effort you must give to raising your dc. I do too, but mine are different. Your dc has value and so does mine, they shouldn’t be pitted against each other to compete for services and understanding.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:53

Noras · 18/07/2024 15:36

He’s an adult and I have only had social care since then. I could refuse to care and that would cost 2000 per week.

He had OT / SALT because he has complex needs eg SLI / motor etc - his language is on 1 and his motor on 0.5 percentile.

It's good you are getting some support. I hope it didn't come over that I thought you shouldn't get that support, you absolutely should.

My DD is on the waiting list for OT.

SummerDays2020 · 18/07/2024 15:55

NineChickennuggets · 18/07/2024 15:43

"I do think there are times when ALL behaviour of children with SEN is put down to them having SEN and is rarely, if ever, considered to be as a result of poor parenting."

When you child has severe sn you still get the blame or are not believed.eg that you are not telling the truth about what happens at home, that your child isn't showing behaviours at home that they show at school and that all professionals must be better and know more than parents. You don't get an easy ride just because your child is severely disabled

Oh yes, of course all professionals even if they've only seen your DC once for 2 minutes knows so much more than the parents who have brought them up all their life!