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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to change my plans (again)

28 replies

TheBreezyGoldTurtle · 17/07/2024 01:27

I’m off work at the moment as I broke my leg and had surgery to pin it back together… so my days are pretty quiet when the kids are at school/nursery.

We’ve got a family wedding next week and I desperately need to dye my hair as the greys are peeking through so I was going to do it last night (Tuesday). My husband moaned when he realised my plan, as he is out with friends/at orchestra on Weds/Thurs/Fri so Tuesday evening was the only evening we had together to sit and watch something (usual evening for us).

I agreed that I’d dye and wash my hair in the morning (Weds) instead, seeing as I didn’t have any other plans. It’s greasy but waiting another 12hrs was ok.

Then, Tuesday evening he announces that his mum is having people (his sister, uncle etc) over for coffee first thing Wednesday morning, and would I come?

I said no, as I wanted to do my hair and I’d already put it off. He said to do it afterwards, as what else was I doing all day? I said that I didn’t want to wait any longer as it looked a mess and was greasy, and that I didn’t want to get up/dressed/bit of makeup ready to go out (to his mum’s) only to have to come home again to get in the shower and start over, so on this occasion I wouldn’t be there.

He said it was odd me not wanting to come or to change my plans for it, and I would look rude. I said that I’d already changed my plan to accommodate us spending more of that evening together.

He then starts sulking which just wound me up, and we had an argument resulting in me going upstairs to watch something on the telly on my own…. Evening spoilt.

His mum sulks when she doesn’t get her own way; and he knows this is something I find hard to tolerate, so seeing him mirror those behaviours over something that really shouldn’t matter made me cross.

(For context, his family live locally and we’re seeing them on Sunday for a family birthday party, so this seems such a minor thing to cause a fuss over).

Am I being such an AH??

OP posts:
Creamteasandbumblebees · 21/07/2024 14:01

Echodaisy7 · 17/07/2024 01:40

He's out for three nights in a row, yet he moaned about you wanting to spend an hour or so dying your hair? Ridiculous behaviour. He sounds like a right pain in the arse.

This!

Welshmonster · 21/07/2024 18:43

I would have dyed my hair on Tuesday as planned. It’s only sitting and watching tv.

TheBreezyGoldTurtle · 22/07/2024 00:37

DelphiniumBlue · 21/07/2024 12:18

I'm wondering how are you going to dye your hair? Are you physically able to do so? And I'm assuming there's a reason you can't do it on Tuesday day, or better still go to a hairdresser because it's going to be tricky, surely? Is it that you need him around while you do it?

i broke my leg, not my arms 🤣

nah, in all seriousness, I’m not in a cast after the surgery. Just a big old titanium rod and screws holding my leg together and allowing me to weight bear on it. I’m just slow, and can’t sit or stand for v long before it swells

—-

this is a few days old now so will update. We had words about the ridiculousness (imo) of coffee-gate, which he still maintained was rude of me, but we would have to agree to disagree…. And then talked through some other things that have upset me (I’ve been easily upset since the injury, plus hormonal) and he basically admitted that he’s been resentful that he’s having to do pretty much everything (I can do short bursts of stuff before I need to elevate my leg, so he does most things)… which was really nice to hear(!) and explains why he’s been in such a bad mood for 6 weeks…. Even though he usually works away Monday-Friday and muggins here does it all. But it’s not the same apparently.

so “in sickness and in health” is going really well at the mo.

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