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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to thank Mumsnet for saving me?

15 replies

Disturbtheuniverse · 17/07/2024 00:59

I just wanted to thank all the brave posters here who sought advice about their abusive relationships over the years and to those who replied to them. You outlined what abuse looked like and what steps you took, so that when it happened to me, slowly and insidiously, I could recognise what it was. The love bombing, the gaslighting, the veiled threats, the coercive control.

You showed me what to do (document incidents, collect evidence, tell people, contact helplines, seek legal advice, pack a bag, store important documents) so that the moment it suddenly became very unsafe, me and DC could leave quickly and safely.

I knew nothing about abuse before reading the posts on here. I had a sheltered naive veiw of life before I married my ex. The term 'get your ducks in a row' meant nothing to me. I would have stayed in that abusive relationship for years blaming myself.

But I didn't because of you. Its early days and its going to be tricky, I know. I'm very scared for my dc. But at least we are not trapped. No doubt I will post again asking for help navigating the road ahead but for now with all my heart, thank you - I LTB!

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 17/07/2024 01:00

❤️

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 17/07/2024 01:07

Congratulations. The first step on the road is the hardest one, and you've taken it ♥️

Giggorata · 17/07/2024 01:09

What a great post to read and all the best for the future. 🎶

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 17/07/2024 01:56

Congratulations. Stay safe and enjoy your new start in life.

BobbyBiscuits · 17/07/2024 01:59

Well done for getting out of your abusive situation. I also find MN so helpful and supportive. Of course some people disagree on a lot of topics, but most of us are all aligned in wanting to help keep other women safe and as happy as possible.
I'm very grateful to the support I've got on here. I'm so pleased you have found it so helpful also.

MigGirl · 17/07/2024 02:02

Congratulations, I'm glad you found the support and help you needed ❤️

SophiePie · 17/07/2024 02:03

Overjoyed for your strength and courage in getting out. Best wishes to you and your dc in your brighter future

Thedogscollar · 17/07/2024 02:08

So glad you are now free from a life of abuse. You have done the best thing for your children. You are setting them the greatest example of a strong, brave and independent woman.
You will never regret your decision. I wish you and your kids a happy and peaceful life. X

Irridescantshimmmer · 17/07/2024 02:10

Well done to you.

It will get better, you stay strong you are over the worst and it's onwards and upwards.

Have hope, your doing great.

MegsNaiceJam · 17/07/2024 02:14

Congratulations, support networks matter so much don’t they. Every success for your future. ❤️

paywalled · 17/07/2024 06:18

So glad you have left! Have you had any contact with ex? Would have loved to be a fly on the wall when he realised you’ve left.

Flidina · 17/07/2024 06:28

Good on you OP, wishing you and your children a very happy and peaceful life, and every success in the future.

Channellingsophistication · 17/07/2024 06:32

Good for you, stay strong. Wishing you and your DCs much future happiness.

Pixiedust1234 · 17/07/2024 06:34

I knew nothing about abuse before reading the posts on here.

Same here. I thought I was in a bad marriage but lots of people have those and just suck it up. What I didn't realise was what a manipulative and nasty man he was who took pleasure in mentally and financially beating me down. I had never heard of family money and was under the impression that because he earned it, it was his to decide on what it was spent on.

Thanks to MN I learned I was not as trapped as I thought I was. It's going to be horrible during and after the divorce but I've managed 40 years with him being horrible already, i will survive a few more. Thank you everyone ❤

Whothefuckdoesthat · 17/07/2024 09:09

❤️

The rest of your life starts now. I wish you a future of safety, peace and happiness.

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