Hi mums - I’m looking for some advice please (and a reality check to see if I need to calm down as I think this situation is unreasonable and it may be making me somewhat unreasonable too - I’m definitely lit up 😝)
My DH and I have sponsored and hosted a number of Ukrainian women and children under the visa program, and one of the families we have become very close to have just moved into their own place after being with us for 2 years.
The mum had a professional job, but did not speak English which she has been learning (taking 2 different college courses at the same time to try to expedite things). She has a 3y old and a teenager.
it took her a long time to find a job, but she found one that uses her professional capabilities and required her native languages (Russian and Ukrainian) She is coming towards the end of her 3m probation and things are going well although the company is very much a clock watching environment, woth fixed breaks(not paid) and specific hours. It takes her about an hour of walk/bus/walk to get there, and will take about 1h.15m from her new home. Her initial contract was for 16 hours a week, and they were good enough to increase to 18 to get her child care covered 85% as she didn’t get the job before the time to get the funded hours when her LO turned 3. To work 3 days (2 long 1 short) her LO is in 2 different nurseries.
For the past 2 years, she has been required to go to the job center every week, although sometimes her appointments are changed to a phone call at short notice.
even to travel there and back, wastes so much time (but I know everyone does it!) I queried it once and I was told it’s so she gets the support available, but they don’t actually do anything helpful as she immediately enrolled in English classes and the “coming to England skills classes” and they have to get a translator who isn’t available 50% of the time.
Last week, when I was helping her finalise her move to a rented property, she told me her “job coach” has told her she needs to continue to apply for jobs, find more income, and if she does not, then she will be kicked off UC. I wrote in her journal asking to join todays call/meeting, to understand so I could explain it to her. She has no other income, and we are hoping that UC will assist in her rent payments although she only moved this past weekend so that’s being processed.
Today she went to the job center and the coach refused to let her come in for the appointment, and insisted it had to be on the phone (on the same building) and he had to call and wait for a translator - then he flat refused to call me and told her under no circumstances would he speak to anyone but her (she got so stressed she couldn’t understand anything he was saying ). He further told her she should get a different job (as if getting a job is easy! Work more even though she has a 3y old and has just moved house this past weekend so has to find new childcare before school nursery starts in Sept - but even then, it’s nursery, no wraparound care is available!)
oh mums - I’ve gone off now and I can’t see straight.
is this guy an arse or am I being unreasonable that I think that UC is to help working people work, stay off the poverty line, and provide support while raising small kids (and bigger ones too)
bloody hell, being a mum is hard, especially if you have to do it solo, in a new country which is friendly and hostile at the same time!
What should I tell her? I have no clue and she is barely functioning due to the pressure.
UABU : preschoolers can do full long days in childcare even if the mum is on minimum wage - it’s the system (insert helpful advice on how to find funded full day care for a 3 y old and this is how to cope)
UANBU: she has to work X amount of hours or earnings, and this is what she should tell that jobsworth (insert helpful advice here)
if you’ve even read this far you are my hero xxx