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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice please - relationship

10 replies

leeochak · 16/07/2024 21:31

In recent weeks I've felt different towards my husband. I can't put my finger on it or why but everything he does just irritates me. It's like I woke up one day and realised he's immature (in his humour), we don't have a great deal in common, I don't feel the relationship is equal in terms of parenting, housework etc and I feel he doesn't emotionally fulfil my needs.

This has come on quite recently from nowhere and I can't shake it. Yesterday he asked me what was wrong and I was just totally honest (maybe not as brutally as above) but I confided in him and tried to explain my feelings. He asked me if I'm falling out of love and then ignored me all night.

I rang him this morning going to work (as usual) and he wasn't really talking to me so we just ended the call. I followed with a text to say despite what he might think, I love him. He ignored me. I came home from work. He's gone in another room and won't speak to me.

How can we even try to work through it and fix stuff???

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 16/07/2024 21:37

Are you peri menopause age by any chance?

Oodiks · 16/07/2024 21:39

Do you have kids?

Seems like he's not happy that you opened up to him about your feelings and it's hardly surprising. Noone wants to hear that they are immature and irritating.

On the other hand, there's little point carrying on the relationship if you find him immature and irritating. If you haven't got kids, it's over, move on. If you have got kids, maybe think about couples counselling.

savethatkitty · 16/07/2024 21:39

Well acting like a petulant child is certainly not attractive.

Createausername1970 · 16/07/2024 21:40

Ah, I am sorry. He is hurting, you have possibly rocked his world, so you need to give him some time to process what you have said and the implications.

leeochak · 16/07/2024 21:43

No, I'm 30 and yes we have children.

I don't even know what I want from him. I think I thought he would want to talk through it, try to make it better. But nothing.

If I didn't say it though it would just bubble away and make it worse?

OP posts:
Oodiks · 16/07/2024 22:25

leeochak · 16/07/2024 21:43

No, I'm 30 and yes we have children.

I don't even know what I want from him. I think I thought he would want to talk through it, try to make it better. But nothing.

If I didn't say it though it would just bubble away and make it worse?

If you want to stay together, you're going to need to walk back what you said to him and work out where to go from there. All relationships go through dull patches, but can you get through this patch together?

Maybe you need to do something to revive the relationship, go away for a weekend together, take up a hobby you both enjoy, go through your old photos together and remember why you're together in the first place.

Good luck.

leeochak · 17/07/2024 11:56

He's still not speaking to me. I wish I never said anything now

I think this might be it....

OP posts:
Oodiks · 17/07/2024 20:59

leeochak · 17/07/2024 11:56

He's still not speaking to me. I wish I never said anything now

I think this might be it....

How long can you deal with the silence? Is he ignoring you in front of the kids?

leeochak · 17/07/2024 21:27

He eventually spoke to me this afternoon to accuse of me having someone else on the side because that's the ONLY reason he can think of that would make me feel this way.

We were getting nowhere trying to speak as it just turned into accusations and bickering so we're still pretty much as we were

OP posts:
Oodiks · 17/07/2024 21:29

leeochak · 17/07/2024 21:27

He eventually spoke to me this afternoon to accuse of me having someone else on the side because that's the ONLY reason he can think of that would make me feel this way.

We were getting nowhere trying to speak as it just turned into accusations and bickering so we're still pretty much as we were

You need some mediation to get back on track. You're both now feeling bad and defensive, and you'll need a third party to help you get back into communication with each other.

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