Feeling pretty bleak about the future and am hoping that wise MN’ers can give me some hope/perspective that things will get better. I’ll try and keep the background as brief as I can…
DH and our 3 DC emigrated about 8 years ago. Many reasons for this but one of the main drivers was to live nearer to my sister and mum who had both emigrated a few years earlier, coupled with the fact that DH’s sister had been deeply unpleasant to me and my DS (not DH’s bio son) - spreading untrue lies about us to their family and mutual friends etc. DH didn’t do much to support me and often out his sister’s feelings above mine so yep bit of a DH issue there that’s never really gone away as the feeling of coming second to his sister seems to linger.
Anyway, about 4 years ago it came out from DH that he never really wanted to emigrate and that he only did it cos I forced him to and that his plan was to go back our home town as soon as practicable. I offered to go back there and then but he didn’t want to so now it’s something that’s just kind of hanging there. For context, we have an 11 yo DD and two other children (20 and 21) who have all made good lives and are happy here.
The past 6 months have been hard. My DM passed away after a long and painful battle with dementia. My Dsis was also diagnosed with cancer for the second time in 12 months. My elder DD moved out to live with her partner and has recently found out that she is pregnant which is amazing news but also worrying as she’s young and has only been with her DP for a few months.
We currently live a couple of hours from DD an Dsis and had been talking about moving nearer ever since Dsis got her second diagnosis. It’s a beautiful town with lots to do so would be a great place to move to. I wfh so easy to move and younger DD finishes primary school this year so a good time for her to move. DH has requested wfh in his current job. So, after a crappy time, I’ve been feeling hopefully for a positive change.
DH has just told me that, regardless of what his work say, he doesn’t want to wfh, nor does he want to have to travel or stay over near his work if he has to commute for a few days a month. He’s also reluctant to try and find a new job. So, whatever way I look at it, we’re not going to be moving. For further context, I took a wfh role to make things easier for us as a family, and have spent the last few years travelling to where Dsis lives every couple of weekends as DM also lived there before she passed.
I’m exhausted and struggling to now be positive about the future as the only move I can see us making is when we go back to our home town 1,000s of miles away from DCs and soon to be DGC in a few years.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and please, be gentle, as I’m feeling really low.