Is this weird or am I rude and unsociable?!

[Bertsmum22]

Lived in our street for 6 years now. Lovely street, say hello to the neighbours etc. One couple who live at the other end of our road walk their dog about twice a day and each time, accost anyone they see for a long chat. They’re nice enough people but want to know everything and tell you everything and remember what you’ve told them for next time you bump in to them. It’s clearly their evening ritual to chat to as many people as possible for as long as possible! I mean they seem to know near enough everyone! I am all for saying hello to my immediate neighbours but can’t say I know many others.

I find myself avoiding them if I see them from far away and either going inside until they’ve passed or walking the other way! Am sure they’ve noticed!

I want to walk my dogs or take my daughter to the park not stand for half an hour chatting to randoms!

Am I rude or would you be the same?!

I would do the same.
We lived next door to people like this, they were constantly out side, or so it seemed, and always wanted a chat.
it got to the point I would wait til they stepped inside or had their back turned before dashing out to the car so I could get in quick.
I don’t want to chat every time I open my front door. It was a relief when they moved tbh.

I'm all for being polite to neighbours, but you don't owe them entertainment. Neither is it necessary to be best friends with someone just because you happen to live in the same area. However I'm probably weird and unsociable too as I've lived at current address for well over a decade and have no idea what any of my neighbour's names is. I'm on brief nod and smile terms with next door one side, as we sometimes put the bins out or arrive home at the same time, and have taken parcels in for each other. Next door the other side helped us find one of our cats when he was lost for a month, but that was a while ago and I'm fairly sure they've moved since...

We'd get on @Bertsmum22 but mainly because we'd say hello, maybe a quick chat, then bye bye. I like boundaries, I let people in once I'm sure about them but until then it's a quick chat, no disclosures and absolutely no uninvited guests. Experience has taught me there are some people you should always keep at arm's length

Their names will be on their parcel…

Definitely a ninja dive to the floor that like. My next door neighbour is a bit like that. I don't mind sometimes but I don't have the time she does.

I think all areas have one like this. Ours is a lady who tells everyone all about her grown up children and how well they are doing and what their houses are decorated like and what illness they suffer from. She lectures at length and barely takes a breath. No one ever sees these grown up children, I think they avoid visiting!

They were, but I've forgotten what it was.

And this is why I'm desperately searching for a house with no neighbours! And knocking on my door about stuff, like any excuse to be a friendly helpful neighbour. Very kind and all that but I like my peace and privacy.

I have LOVELY neighbours who are exactly like this and I always check the windows first before going out to the drive. I've even dived back in the front door when I've seen them coming out. They really are so sweet, but I haven't got the time or the desire (unsociable as I am) to have a half hour chat every time I see them. I'm a nod and say hello neighbour. We are looking to sell in the next few years and will be going detached!! It's definitely me and not them.

I'd jump in a hedge to get away from them.

God, that’s insufferable. We have neighbours like this and it’s very stressful. They’re incapable of just saying a quick hello and want a long chat every single time.

When I leave my house, I’m usually rushing on the school run, rushing to work or to an appointment. They seem offended if I cut them off saying I was in a rush.

Even quickly darting outside to the recycling is painful in case they’re there - I always look out the kitchen window beforehand but they are known to suddenly appear if they hear you outside!

At best this can be bothersome. At worst these people could be people you really don't want to know.

I had a pair of them when I moved to the street where I now live. The began as quaint and quirky, quickly turned to bothersome, and ended up being very nasty.

They were of working age, but a whole load of circumstances meant they didn't. I could list them all, I won't, as it's very outing and above all boring. It was all about them, and to say they projected would be an understatement.

I thought I was tolerating them well. Sometimes my ability to empathise was less-so than others (such as when I got out my car after working ten hours, only to have one of them tell me how their benefits had been cut), but I always made the effort.

The rot set in when one of them said for the umpteenth time "all the neighbour talk about us", to which one day I said "well, if they do, they're not saying it to me. But then you and me, we're really quite alike". She asked how so. I said "well, we're just not interesting people". Thus in effect, I brought it on myself.

So…how are my in laws

I think mine must have moved to your road. The worked in a pair, like a very down-market double act inspired by Hyacinth Bucket.

I'm always checking who is outside before I go out, and cringe if I see neighbours out when I'm coming back. I can't be arsed 😂

I've found my perfect neighbour. Can we live next to each other please? We sound a match made in heaven.

We have a neighbour like this, she's lovely but can chat your ear off for hours if you don't tell her you need to go. I've seen people run past or in when they spot her.

“Hi there” (tight smile, keep walking) “oh sorry can’t stop, have a lovely walk, see you soon” (keep walking)

I used to get caught talking for hours with a couple in our road. They moved from a northern town where all the neighbours used to chat out the front and there was a real community spirit which we don’t really have here.

My advice would be to try being more assertive in bringing a conversation to a close rather than hiding.

I used to be awful at doing this but it’s actually not that hard and gets easier with practice!
So a quick friendly hello and a bit of cheery small talk, and then just be honest about needing to get on/ be somewhere.

I usually shut gossip about other neighbours down by saying I don’t know them well enough and don’t like to gossip (insert light hearted laugh here).

Finish with something like- so lovely to see you both looking well- and walk away.

Keep practicing this assertiveness and it’ll be really useful in many social situations.

I must admit I do hate seeing neighbours I know in Tescos and usually pretend I haven’t seen them.

Theres nothing worse than chatting for a bit and then seeing them in every fucking aisle 😂

Could you say something like,

"I can't stop and chat, this new medication goes right through me if I stand still, in fact I can feel it bubbling up right now..."

And then move off smartly.

Indeed there is nothing worse.

I had this once, not with a neighbour, but with complete strangers. Being 5ft 8, I had no chance of getting something from the top of the aisles where Asda seem to put excess stock now. Thus, I looked around for someone taller, and happened upon an alpha male built like the proverbial brick out-house.

I asked his wife if he'd mind getting me down what I wanted, she said of course not, and TBH he'd have been in his 7th heaven had a woman asked him, but with this being another male in need of rescue, he puffed out his arms & chest and beamed from ear to ear for all he was worth, as he marched off and reached down the box, saving the day and me from myself.

And off we went in different directions...only to bump into each other in another aisle...then the next...and one after that. There's a limit to how many times we can reference that moment our paths crossed only minutes earlier. As I moved into another aisle and clocked them yet again, I quickly turned my trolley & headed for the checkouts, deciding that whatever it was I needed could wait until another time.

Switch it for neighbour 😆

@ToxicChristmas Come and live on my street, somehow magically we're all mostly of the same ilk! Say "you alright?" and that does it for a month until we see each other again haha.

Yes this is the sort of Oh Hello Again situation I hate in the supermarket. It gets awkward as fuck after a while 😂🤣