To want to go and sit in the car?

[featherstonehaigh]

I stripped the kids' beds this morning and need to make them before they can go to bed. But I just can't do it. DH is away, working. I am self-employed and should be working too but have done nothing much for days, behind with everything. Kids (9, 7) are awful, moaning or crying or demanding stuff all the time, getting them to help is more trouble than its worth. I always challenge them but get nowhere, nothing ever changes. Today picked them up from school and listened to them telling me what a terrible mum I was for the whole drive home. I kind of agree with them tbh, but it doesn't help. House is an absolute tip.

WIBU just to go and sit in my car and wait until the kids have magically worked out how to make their own beds and gone to sleep before I come back into the house again?

Poor you, that sounds awful. Are they always so nasty to you?! You should be able to carry out tasks and work at their age!!

I hear you. Dh is military I could cry. But mine are older now so should help me more.

Oh, I am sorry. Just put a bottom sheet on if that's all you can manage. It won't hurt for them not to have a duvet cover for one night. I would say it's probably best to avoid confrontation with them tonight if you are so stressed.

Can you talk to DH tonight and tell him you are sinking a bit at the moment.

Do you have any family nearby who might have the kids for a sleepover one night this week to give you some breathing space.

Nightmare.

Give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up. You're doing a great job.

Get the beds made. Bundle up all the laundry and take it to a service wash tomorrow. Switch to fast food like oven pizza or ready meals while you take a breath.

Does your house need decluttering? Just chuck out everything that you don't use / need / want.

Simply your life as much as you can.

Raising kids is a hideous, thankless marathon.

They can sleep without sheets for one night. Tell them you might help them put them on tomorrow if they are nicer to you then.

Is this a one off/occasional or do you feel like this a lot? Because if it's the second, you should seriously consider getting your H to change his job because his family needs him. No matter how much more he might earn, its not worth you feeling like this. Plus if your own self employment is suffering you might be losing part of what you're gaining.

Thanks everyone. Actually some food for thought here, I'm glad I posted. 'Stressed' is true, though honestly I hadn't realised it. Just feel like my head is in a freezer most of the time! I can't talk to DH tonight because of the time difference but it never helps much anyway. His work vs my work balance... that's a really good point. I think it would be easier if we had less angry kids, but we don't. Maybe something has to change.

Anyway I'm not sitting in the car yet. Sheets aren't on. Who knows where this is going!

Excellent, kids are now screaming at each other upstairs at top volume. At least they're not screaming at me...

Let them. Have you got a garden? Make yourself a nice gin and tonic cup of tea and go and sit in the garden with it and smoke a cigarette look at the sky with your feet up and leave them to it. You are more than mum, you are a soul who can disconnect from them without it doing them any harm, and you can have a space inside yourself for peace by whatever means you achieve it. Bless you you are a good mum and a good person and they are not old enough to understand how much you do for them. Take some time and breathe.
Big hugs. 💖