DH annoyed "I didn't notice his tidying"

[Battenbergcoconutice]

I'm five months pregnant and have an 18 month old. Been running around all day after toddler not even had time to make myself a cup of tea this afternoon and also had to walk the dog plus the usual (have changed about 6 poo nappies today's DS a bit I'll). Husband asked me if I'd noticed the tidying he did after he finished work and got annoyed that I hadn't just now saying he spent 45 minutes on it! I'm so annoyed this is so typically male! I don't ask for brownie points for all the things I've done today including growing a child in my uterus! 🤣 #men!

Put it right next to your toddlers.

"Oh wow, are we getting brownie points for all our household jobs now? Great! I'm brilliant at this game!"

"... I wiped the kitchen side again and put the stuff on the draining board away!"

"... I just replaced the loo roll and put a clean hand towel in the downstairs loo!"

"...I wiped down the fridge while I was waiting for the kettle to boil!"

"...I took out the rubbish, wiped the bin lid, and added bin bags to the shopping list!"

"...I carried the folded washing upstairs and put it away, made the bed while I was upstairs, wiped down the sink and gather up a cup and two glasses!"

"... are you making a note of all these? Am I winning?..."

Once my ex spent half an hour or more taking a shit and I could hear his grunting and the splatter sounds. the house was an absolute stink. His bowls were not happy that day. Anyway he came to tell me he's cleaned the bathroom for me (just the toilet not the sink bath or floors). Like what the fuck? You cleaned up your own skids that's what you did. But he genuinely thought he had cleaned the bathroom.

@Battenbergcoconutice ... watch this. . And you'll forever be singing it. "You are such a good dad"

I enjoyed @Catza's post. I thought it was funny.

Which is all well and good until you have to go upstairs and have sex with the man baby. Not for me, thanks.

Oh I love her songs! Very talented and funny woman

@PurpleBugz hahahahah thanks this has really made me laugh!

I always notice and say thank you, it is the barest courtesy I’d give to a flat mate so why not the love of my life? He thanks me as well.

I am busier than you too. Working full time whilst pregnant and having a toddler.
I don’t know why you wouldn’t notice mess being tidied. It reminds me how certain partners say they don’t notice mess or the tidying of it to excuse their lack of pulling their own weight.

DP and I always express appreciation for each other's efforts. I think some individuals may find that being contemptuous and sarcastic can have negative consequences in their relationships. It has a pretty nasty undertone.

If both partners are equally expressing gratitude for the others' efforts, it's unlikely that contempt or sarcasm would arise.

Yes, and that appears to be an entirely different situation from the OP's, where she has been rushed off her feet all day taking care of what should be shared childcare and household responsibilities with no acknowledgement or thanks, and the owner of half of the responsibility has "become annoyed" because she did not thank him for doing one household task.

I’m definitely stealing this!!

OP has been home all day playing with a toddler and then took the dog for a walk. It sounds like a regular slow weekend day to me. (She is lucky to not have to work! )

Her DH has worked all day and then done 45mins of tidying round the house- which is probably more than one task.

The fact OP is a devoted mother and puts her toddler first is a good thing, but it couldn’t hurt for her to acknowledge the amount of paid and unpaid work her DH does so she can do this.