Worrying conversation with brother

Lacky301 · 2024-07-16T09:59:10+00:00

He told me over whatsapp that he has issues and it could be bad for him and he has hospital appointments he won't however tell me what's going on or let me know if I can visit so what would you do in this scenario.

SingingSands · 16/07/2024 11:04

Text back and ask if he needs any support before/during/after his appointments? Ask if he wants to meet up?

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/07/2024 11:04

Text him and say you’re there for him whenever he needs you, that you love him and want to help and are there whenever he needs to talk and get some support.

Then keep checking in. I hope he’s ok OP.

TheSandgroper · 16/07/2024 11:05

well, I'm the trampling type so I wouldn't be taking that lying down. I would be down to his place demanding, as kindly and gently as I could manage, what was going on. I am also the one that keeps the elderly parent current so would also be asking on his behalf.

But that's just me. Perhaps I am no help to you.

CelesteCunningham · 16/07/2024 11:06

I would just keep in touch via text. What's the backstory? It all sounds a bit vaguebook tbh. Let him know you're free to visit if he'd like, but he may not want to.

bfrgggdsryvfg · 16/07/2024 11:10

I would ask him if there is anything you can do and that you are free to talk whenever he feels comfortable and send him regular texts checking in on him.
Ive been the person that hasn’t wanted to share a medical condition that was quite scary, and that’s what I would have appreciated, so I’m advising you on that basis. He has probably mentioned it so you don’t have a shock later on, but at the same time isn’t ready to talk about it. Talking about it makes everything real, he might not be ready for that yet.
Dont bulldoze over his need for privacy, it could overwhelm him.

Solocup · 16/07/2024 13:14

If it were my brother I’d assume he was reaching out, in a roundabout way, so I’d turn up. I’d like to know what was going on but I’d fully respect his choice not to share. You can support without knowing what’s going on, and I probably don’t need an invite to pop round.

Suzieandthemonkeyfeet · 16/07/2024 13:19

This would piss me of tbh. He clearly wants you to know but wants to keep you in suspense or to beg?

I’d message back and say ‘ I’m really sorry to hear you’re not ok? Let me know when you want to talk about it and I’ll come over’

bonzaitree · 16/07/2024 13:49

That sounds really hard OP I’m sorry. I would send a text message now saying you’re so sorry about his news you’re thinking about him and you’re here to talk any time he wants to. Then wait a couple of days and follow up with another call to him. He’ll tell you in his own time if he wants to.

All you can do is be calm, listen to him properly and offer help.

Eadfrith · 16/07/2024 13:56

There’s soo little context here there not enough to go on. Do you usually not talk to one another? What’s your relationship like? Would he usually overdramatise things or is this a sign something could be seriously wrong because he never usually contacts you? I have more questions than answers lol. You don’t have to answer my questions but it’s just hard to give a rounded response given the short OP. Just ring him and ask him if he’s okay and what going??

Original poster

Lacky301 · 16/07/2024 14:40

Eadfrith · 16/07/2024 13:56

There’s soo little context here there not enough to go on. Do you usually not talk to one another? What’s your relationship like? Would he usually overdramatise things or is this a sign something could be seriously wrong because he never usually contacts you? I have more questions than answers lol. You don’t have to answer my questions but it’s just hard to give a rounded response given the short OP. Just ring him and ask him if he’s okay and what going??

Well we are not in contact every single day and mostly we catch up on WhatsApp he told me it's his private life and he's not discussing any further etc etc. He lives with his partner but don't want to put her on the spot by asking her what's going on telling and my brother finding out and going mad at her. My other 2 sisters fell out with him and they don't talk now it's only me that talks to him. He has 1 grown up son but his son doesn't live close.

OP posts:

Babadook76 · 16/07/2024 14:45

Well does he want you to know, or not? Is it possible he wants to kind of prepare you for the worst without having to say it? Though it sounds like a lot of attention seeking to me, as the way he’s worded it is obviously going to make you think of the most awful scenarios, which it might not be at all?

Itwasespeciallygood67 · 16/07/2024 14:52

I'm a bit concerned that your other two sisters don't spk to him as that could be a large red flag. So I would respond to him, but not in a way that feeds the "mystery" ifyswim so something like, "here if you want to talk after your appt, take care"

Eadfrith · 16/07/2024 15:13

Lacky301 · 16/07/2024 14:40

Well we are not in contact every single day and mostly we catch up on WhatsApp he told me it's his private life and he's not discussing any further etc etc. He lives with his partner but don't want to put her on the spot by asking her what's going on telling and my brother finding out and going mad at her. My other 2 sisters fell out with him and they don't talk now it's only me that talks to him. He has 1 grown up son but his son doesn't live close.

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I’m sorry it does sound worrying, but then again he’s making it difficult to have your support by not wanting to discuss it further. Families can be difficult! Hope you can work it out either way.