TLDR: broke up with ex, loss of a mutual friend, unable to attend funeral and ex is moving fast with someone new.
I 29/F recently broke up with my ex, “Alex” 38/M, after being together for 10 years.
For context, both Alex and I are neurodivergent, which has always played a significant role in how we communicate and handle emotions.
I was honest with Alex from the beginning about me dating others, and hoped he’d do the same, find himself rather than continuing the cycle we were in. Despite my conflicted feelings about ending the relationship, I ultimately made the decision because of Alex’s lack of communication and commitment. For years, we were engaged with no marriage in sight, which left me feeling uncertain about our future.
I had hoped to maintain a cordial relationship with Alex post-breakup, but things took an unexpected turn. After two months of him insisting that I reconsider, he still wanted to try and work on things, it’d be different this time etc., I found out that Alex has moved in with someone new he’s known less than a month, which was quite a shock and has left me worried for him.
In that time, Alex also told me that a mutual friend had died. This news devastated me, as this friend was someone I knew. However, when I asked Alex for details about the funeral, he refused to provide any information and told me that I couldn’t or shouldn’t attend because it’d make him uncomfortable. To add to the hurt, Alex is taking the new person to the funeral.
Since delivering this news, Alex has completely cut off contact with me. He’s ignoring my calls, texts, and any attempt I make to reach out. I feel utterly devastated by the loss and the sudden isolation from Alex, and I have no one else to turn to who knew the friend as well as Alex did.
I’m struggling to process all of this. I’m worried for Alex, but I’m also deeply saddened by the loss of our friend and the abrupt end of communication. I could really use some advice or support from anyone who’s been through something similar.