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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex refuses to provide babysitter contact details whilst working overseas

27 replies

MaryBerryBerry · 15/07/2024 15:25

My ex and I are divorced and share 50/50 residence for our children. Ex is traveling overseas on business this week, and is due to have the children during this time. I offered to have the children for most of the time they are away, but I couldn't do one day/night because I had pre-existing plans abroad.

Ex arranged a babysitter for the time I can't have them, including an overnight stay and for the babysitter to take the kids to nursery/school the following morning. The kids are 7 and under, and have never had an overnight stay without either parent before. I don't know the babysitter.

As Ex will be travelling on a long haul flight and neither of us are in the country for a day, I asked them to give me the babysitter's phone number in case of an emergency. They refused to provide this. I don't really have any idea why not, as we generally co-parent ok, and help each other out.

So for a period of time whilst Ex is flying and is therefore completely offline, I have no way of contacting the babysitter in an emergency, and the children have no way of contacting me (they are too young to have a phone). Ex PIL have also not been giving the babysitter's contact details.

I fully understand that during Ex's parenting time, it is their responsibility to arrange appropriate care etc, but I consider the refusal to provide basic contact information in the event of an emergency is completely unreasonable, particularly given Ex is not contactable whilst on a flight.

AIBU to expect that Ex should have provided me with the babysitter's phone number whilst they are overseas and uncontactable?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 15/07/2024 16:41

This is completely, 100% not on. There is absolutely no way this is acceptable.

You need the babysitters name, phone number, and an account of this person's qualifications and DBS /criminal check.

File an emergency motion in family court demanding all of the above.

Do this ASAP.
Your ex is being an utter arsehole here, and you can not allow him to pull this stunt.

You should be prepared to offer the same information for anyone you hire to take care of the children when he can't have them if you are going to be away.

WanOvaryKenobi · 15/07/2024 16:43

I want to suggest what ola few other pp have. It seems like he is using a new partner for childcare. You are entitled to know who is spending time with your children, especially abroad.

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