To be so annoyed that DP lost passport

[SaturdayFive]

My DP has lost his passport 4 days before we are due to go away for a family holiday involving a lot of driving abroad (which he was happily going to do, I wouldn't have booked it, if I knew I'd have to drive all of it).
He's needed it for various ID checks in the past few weeks so has been out of its usual safe place. He first thought it was missing last week - but thought he'd left it at work.. then went away for the weekend and didn't check until today. It's not there. House car garage workplace all turned upside down and no sign of it.
The only fast track appointment you can get for a lost passport replacement is the one that takes a week to deliver it! Which he found out only after cancelling the old passport- as you have to do that before they'll allow the appointment to be booked. He's blaming me for that, as I told him to get a new passport.
So it looks like I'll be taking kids on holiday on my own. Thankfully they are old enough to be a help not a hindrance.
AIBU to be angry that he's ruined our holiday?

@SaturdayFive if it helps at all I just did the 1 week fast track this week, (also not renewal) had the appointment Tuesday mid morning. Passport was courier’d and in my hand Thursday at 9am! So two days all in all

He's needed it for various ID checks in the past few weeks so has been out of its usual safe place.

Most ID checks allow a diving licence to be used. What were these checks?

This is true- I know someone who had to do a fast track renewal and they had it in 48h, the 1 week is just a maximum. It might be ok after all

Well that’s a matter of perspective. It would absolutely ruin my holiday. One of the main benefits of a holiday to me is spending uninterrupted family time with DH, and I wouldn’t want to book a holiday without him as I want to enjoy it with him.

So him not coming would ruin one of the main reasons I’d have booked the holiday.

How have you attached the Airtags/Tiles?

Have you been through passport control with the tags / Tiles attached?

It sounds like a good idea, but I think I'll get myself a passport wallet with inbuilt Tile rather than attaching anything to the passport itself. (goes off to search the internet)

Yes, it is harsh!
However, family holiday, lots of driving....
What if it was done on purpose?
Staying home on his own wouldn't be too bad!

This is a very odd response. There could be all kinds of reasons why a passport would be used. For work, for example, a passport demonstrates the right to work in the country in a way that a driving license doesn't.

I used my passport to vote because quite frankly I was too lazy to go to my car where my driving license is and my passport was in my bedside drawer.

I have sometimes been asked for 2 forms of photo id.

Has he actually done the fast track as it may come just in time

Good point. Is he at least getting it sorted now?

I'd be livid. Can't believe how many on here would be so calm about it. I hate driving at the best of times so it would absolutely ruin my holiday. My DH has form for this kind of thing and having to be the one who is expected to be on top of everything exhausts me.

Just get the appointment for tomorrow, anywhere you can. Tell them the timescale and you may get lucky. Dd went to the passport office on one week first adult passport appointment on the Wednesday. It arrived 2 days later on the Friday.

I think it’s great you are still going.

Since you are now single-handedly managing the childcare and holiday I’d expect that you eat out more, take the easy option even if it costs more and make sure you & the kids have an amazing time. Then when you get back you need a child-free couple of days to recover. It sounds more like he’s been careless and it’s not suitable apologetic about the situation.

Thanks all.
He's got an emergency appointment for the 1 week fast track, for tomorrow, so if that goes ok and the passport arrives (much) quicker than anticipated, it may be ok anyway.
I can't face rearranging everything and losing most of the cost, so the driving it will have to be, if it doesn't arrive in time.
If he can organise to fly over there mid week at least I won't have to drive back.
The insurance excludes claims arising from cancellation due to failure to have a passport, unless it's lost while abroad.
He chose the long drive option so I don't think it's a deliberate ploy to get out of it.
Just so annoying.

I am going to remain optimistic. The home office is currently generally exceeding time frames for passports. It comes and goes, but I think you've got a good chance of getting it back fairly promptly at this point. My brother was told 4 weeks to apply from a foreign country - it took about 2.

I don't get all these "it was an accident, don't be angry"?

This really makes no sense to me. It's totally natural to be angry when something happens that ruins plans or items - regardless whether it was an accident or not.

Granted, the way you respond is important, but just like I think it's important to apologise when an accident hurts someone or causes them problems, it's important to acknowledge that annoyance.

It's fine to be angry in the moment...but really not something to remain angry about.

I’d be furious with him tbh

I'm in charge of passports in our household as DH is useless with that kind of thing. I keep them the whole time we are away too. He knows where it is in case of emergency though.

Had I have genuinely lost my passport through a simple accident or it falling out of my bag and I simply hadn't realised, and then my DH was angry at me and kept being angry at me for something that's happened now that I have no control over and for a holiday I was really looking forward to, yeah he could happily fuck off on the holiday alone. Sometimes things happen, I am sure the DH is devastated to not be able to go on his holiday. Being angry or not being angry isn't changing the outcome.

Sounds unfortunate, cancelling was a terrible idea, shame he was stupid enough to actually do it!

You can't change this by being annoyed only resolved it

It's mainly that he couldn't find it last week, but didn't verify that it was actually lost until today, which is too late to fix it for definite before the departure date.
If I'd been in the same situation 10 days prior to a holiday I would have stopped everything til I had either 1) found it or 2) confirmed it was lost knowing I would have just enough time to arrange a new one.
He carried on regardless.
But yes it's pointless crying over spilt milk I agree.

It'll be in his car or a pocket

Problem solved 😂

Always a pocket!

Someone once bought me a ticket home as a present, very expensive, was a kind of last minute surprise. What no-one knew was I didn't know where my home countries passport was, and I can't travel on a UK one.

Spent the week ripping the house apart and found it the day before I was supposed to leave, in a side pocket of a pair of trousers that had somehow made their way back into the drawer of clean clothes

Will never forget that sense of relief when I found it