Grandma is "mother"

[pinkyp]

Hi one of my very old school friends recently had a baby (she's 11 months) and has had to return to work full time. Her mum looks after lo (fair enough). Not only that she looks after lo all week (inc nights) and all weekend. My friend will bring her dd home for a few hours on a sunday. Last weekend was the first time she's had her for the full weekend - although she got her mum to stop over with her. She baby sat her mums cat for the weekend, whilst her mum had HER baby for her. Some days she'll finish at 2 and go out shopping etc, first thing i'd do is pick up lo! Now she's just told me she's going on hol with her bf to benidorm for the week without lo (suprise suprise)!
Her mum is quite old, has a limp and does all her gardening, washing etc for her! Her daughter cant sit up yet, is only on bottles and apple puree - "there taking weening slowly". Am i being unreasonable to be moaning? in my eyes my friend isnt a mother to her lo, her grandma is!!!!

how old is she, pinky?

she'll be 29 in may.

well, consider her JUDGED by me.

It sounds a bit strange to me - I know someone who also seems to use her mother as child care a lot of the time. She doesn't work, doesn't study, but doesn't seem to have time to take care of her ds either

However, I wouldn't be too hasty to judge, as my situation has been judged quite a lot -I work as a full-time professional actress and am occasionally away on tour during the week. My mum cares for ds while my dh is at work, and I have had some negative reactions about this. It works for me though, and if this situation is working for your friends then I don't see too much of a problem.

who would judge that, though, you've got to work. this woman sounds incapable of looking after her own child.

but you know, blah blah blah... if it works for them...

i looked after my dgs a lot in the first two years more than i wanted to but my dd2 was working split shifts and struggled as did her bf

different strokes for different folks maybe

I agree Aitch, I have to work, and people always seem to find it acceptable for men to work away from home, but not always women.

I wouldn't like to judge anyone else's situation without knowing them.

lol, i love doing that. in fact it's what MN is all about.

Yeah, I suppose at least we can all do it anonymously on Mumsnet and bite our tongues in real life!