To stop contact after relapse

[MorrowTreasure]

So this. My kids father that I’m separated from has relapsed after about two years clean - heroin and crack. I think I should tell my kids. They’re aware he has mental health problems but not aware of previous addiction issues as last crisis they were a lot younger. I think they’re old enough now to understand a bit 14 and 10, they already feel his behaviour has changed recently plus I think I am going to have to say no to contact again as he is actively using. How do you tell children about this? I know they will find it frightening. Posted on Addiction board but posting here for traffic.

https://adf.org.au/talking-about-drugs/parenting-talk/children-preteens/explaining-addiction-child/#:~:text=Tips%20for%20talking%20with%20children%20about%20addiction&text=Make%20it%20age%20appropriate.,when%20the%20child%20is%20relaxed.

Really sorry you’re going through this.

This pamphlet gives really good advice on talking to children about addiction.

I’m so sorry, OP. How horribly stressful for you.

This article is a bit US-focused, but I found it had some good and specific ideas for what to say, and how to say it. https://cornerstoneofrecovery.com/tips-and-suggestions-for-how-to-talk-to-young-children-about-addiction/

I only have limited knowledge about this, and no personal experience. But from what I understand, the main thing is that your DC always feel they can talk to you about this. They may hear other people saying awful things about people with addictions, because there is so little understanding that addiction is an illness. They may also experience unpleasant behaviour from their DF. They need to know that they can come to you if this happens, for reassurance and to share their feelings.

You sound like such a caring parent. I hope you and your DC find a way to navigate this.