To panic every time work talks about development

[Trufflebutter24]

I have 2 DC, one in nursery, the other school age and have worked in my industry for 6/7 years now. I’m told I’m good at my job but sometimes I have terrible mind talk and self doubt that I’m not good enough/ not cut out for having a career. I’ve worked really hard to try and ignore this, realising lately that we’re all muddling along and doing our best.
Anyway, I’ve started a new job in the last 3 months and they’ve asked me about my career aspirations as they’re really keen to support me in my development. It’s sort of what I’ve always to hear, but I’m then faced with lots of self doubt and worry about whether this is what I really want. Is anyone else like this? I constantly swing on a pendulum between wanting a high flying career and all the great things that come with it, to working in a lower paid job that doesn’t have the politics and stress.
I can’t work out if these feelings are fear based or because maybe I’m not in the industry I want to be.
Sometimes I feel like my career progression will have to be accidental because pushing for it seems alien to me.
After having a good chat with the head of my department last week I’ve woken up today looking at career quizzes?! I just wanted to see if anyone can relate and if they have any advice. I want to work and to do well but I’m also getting into my head about it and I don’t know why!!

Well you are being unreasonable, if your own employer wants to help you develop!

A word of caution - just because you take a lower paid job, doesn't mean that the politics and stress will go away. Being bored can be just as stressful as being too stretched.

Good luck

Thank you for the words of encouragement 💐

Do you actually like your job or enjoy working in the industry you are in? Maybe it is worth considering that.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a high flying career and (judging by many people I have met) you don’t actually need to be any good at your job to get that, but it helps.

There is also nothing wrong with “settling” for something that is lower paid but you are being foolish if you really think that protects you from politics and stress.

If you are working in an area you don’t really care that much about (as many of us do) that is also OK but it helps you to feel less hard on yourself if you acknowledge to yourself that you are really only in it for the money and not because it is some great passion of yours.

I think I would start by considering what aspects of work I enjoy, and what sort of role I would ideally want. Then the developement would be the aspects needed to get from where I am to where I want to be. You mention that you are not in your ideal industry. Can you broadly explain what field you currently work in and what field you would rather be in? There might be some transferable skills development that we can recommend with a bit more information.

Also, remember that you don't have to pick between a 'low paid, boring job' or a 'high flung, high stress, no time for anything else' job. There are plenty that fall in the middle.

I work in healthcare and know many women who have sat in a more convenient job whilst their children are young, have studied/taken on a little extra project etc where they can, and then focused on getting a promotion/applying for a new post once their children are more independent. You don't have to rush into making any decisions right now.

I'm kind of the same - I pushed hard when I was younger, made good progress but disliked the politics. I ended up taking voluntary redundancy then doing a degree > teacher training > just completed a Ph.D. I went into teaching 2 years ago but got frustrated with the workload and all the admin tasks that I didn't thought were related to teaching. People kept pushing me for senior leadership roles due to my competency but I wasn't interested, so I quit teaching, took a job in the private sector (for 70% more money) with a very defined job role where I am an expert in that and I'm much happier.

My one piece of advice is if you do see an opportunity to develop into a role you are interested in is ask for a mentor/coach to be assigned to you - someone that's already doing a similar role - this will help tremendously.

Just type s few abstract ideas, nothing tangible, sometimes I feel these types of supervisions are some sort of ' test' to test that your human or the ambitious type that they want on their team . Give B.S. its hard enough being a working parent juggling work life balance.