In court my abusive (and suspected NPD) ex essentially managed to manipulate everyone to get what he wanted. I asked for a third party for my own protection to do the handovers. Ex told them that he ONLY wanted to see me, which should have been a red flag as he only wanted to see me to further abuse and control me. Courts granted his request and put ‘NO THIRD PARTY ALLOWED’. Baffling that they enabled him for no reason.
They also ordered that I have to be in communication with him to keep him updated regarding our son. This same man that I fled during pregnancy due to abuse. The same man that during pregnancy I was in fear every day for 9 months as he was threatening to kill me, to have me ‘jumped’, set me on fire and told me ‘to say goodbye’ to my child whilst he was still in my stomach.
Im five years out and he communicates with me and harasses me if I don’t respond. I don’t want to communicate with him anymore. He tries to start ‘arguments’ by doing what he does best and gaslights me. He randomly tells me that he ‘never abused me’ and that I’m making it up, or starts about our son threatening that he’s going to phone the school as he’s basically ashamed our sons speech is lacking (it’s been explained to him our son has potential autism/adhd which is going through the correct channels).
im being essentially stalked as each time I'm seen in public, one of his family or friends photographs me and my ex tells me he knows exactly who I was with and where I was - then proceeds to start on me for example because my son was wearing a football shirt with the ‘wrong’ name on. (First part of his double barrelled name).
theres so much that I haven’t gone into detail about, but I truly cannot fathom how family courts enable abusers to further their victims. If you have a child with your abuser - you’ll never get justice, they’re constantly able to mistreat you and even if they don’t - even with past trauma you’re expected to put up with it because you have a child with them. I’m exhausted, I honestly am so depressed and have severe ptsd and anxiety because of it and I cannot heal because I don’t have the space to get away from him to do so. Everytime I see him or get a message from him - I panic, it ruins my day yet I have to put on a ‘brave’ face and deal with it because ‘no third party allowed’ disallows me to get support.