Can't be bothered with sex

[Dimsexy]

Just over a year after having a baby and my libido has vanished, particularly since returning to work. I can count on one hand times it's happened in last 6 months. I just don't feel like it, too tired and dh often is too tired too. We're both in survival mode trying to hold down full time jobs, a baby who often sick from nursery, household chores etc etc. Social life, sex, leisure activities seem to all be on back burner at mo

My and dh still have lots of affection and fancy eachother. But it's hard to feel like a sexual being after a day being mum or feeling burnt out after day at work. Sex feels like another chore to add to the to do list and I just don't have the energy.

Before baby I had very high sex drive and wanted it all the time. I really don't recognise myself at the moment.

Is this a normal part of getting used to parenting?

Teens/young adults here also - and menopausal and a full time job/sole parent etc - I have a partner but we don't live together and frankly sex is the first thing to suffer. But as pp have said, if you still fancy each other, then finding a way to make the time (even if only once a month) is key to maintaining a connection but also being able to hug/snuggle/kiss without expectation of it going further can take the pressure off which can generally have a better long term outcome. Take time to just talk and lay out your feelings. It's a tough gig but communication is key

If you both don’t want to do it right now then don’t. At least you’re in the same place. You’ve reproduced, sex is less important now naturally.

It’s normal and understandable. I would instigate a bit more touch and kisses. No expectations of sex. Don’t lose intimacy completely.Sometime you don’t feel like it but if you make the time and effort it can be great. The less you do it the less you want and vice versa.

And what's wrong with that?

Quick - call the police!

I'm the opposite. I'm going all the time, breastfeeding a 20 month old, touched out and exhausted!

But DH sex drive has gone right down. We still hug and kiss and flirt and hug etc. It just usually doesn't go anywhere.

I'm currently reading fairy smut to DH while he does a bit of ironing.

I'm horny all the time... not going...

What is fairy smut?

yeah that is a massively incorrect generalisation @Munter !