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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use bio oil on toddler's scars?

19 replies

Sunshines89 · 14/07/2024 19:57

To be clear, I am not ashamed in anyway of my 2yo DD's scars, which are a result of surgery when she was born. They're very faint already, silver and straight, asides from holes from the stitches which soap seems to gather in a bit every now and then which makes them stand out more.

My husband and I are hoping she will be incredibly proud of her scars, as marks of what she overcame at such a young age. I feel oddly proud of them myself and we already big them up to her, even though she's too young to understand right now. But she may become self conscious of them, especially as a teen, and it would break my heart for her to say something like "if you used bio oil on them when I was younger they might not be visible now", or similar. So I'm thinking of using bio oil so I can at least say I did what I could in anticipation of her becoming self conscious of them. Or am I over thinking it?

OP posts:
GoingRoundInTriangularCircles · 14/07/2024 19:59

It can't hurt but they'll be so faint as she grows they will probably hardly notice.
I have one from age 8 and it was large. Honestly can't see it unless u know where to look

Mindymomo · 14/07/2024 20:05

Using bio oil should help, I would give it a go, it won’t make scars go away overnight but should help keep the area moisturised, a little goes a very long way.

RoseAndRose · 14/07/2024 20:27

Bio Oil is basically mineral oil (same as Johnson's) with a very small amount of other ingredients

I think it's much more likely that it's the act of massaging, rather that the additives to the mineral oil, that make the difference.

Her scars may well fade as she grows up. Is it really such a big deal if you try something that might help them fade a little more?

Massaging your DC is, I think, a nice thing to share. So you could do it generally, and your DD might never click that there was any connection to scars

spiderlight · 14/07/2024 20:27

You'll be surprised at how much they fade. My DS had an extraordinary ability to fall on his head when he was younger - he fell on his face while running to nursery wearing sunglasses, which rode up and and the nose-grips cut him above the bridge of his nose; then when he was 7 he had a head vs park bench incident that split his forehead to the bone and needed six stitches, and a year or so after that, he fell against the PE bars in school and split the other side of his forehead. I used bio oil on the first two scars at first but it irritated his skin. I think I used rosehip oil instead. Anyway, the first two had faded to almost invisible white lines by the time he started school, and now in his teens, they've gone completely, as has the one from the PE bars, and the one that needed stitches is a tiny white line that's only just about visible in very bright light if you know where to look for it. The main thing is to keep the scars out of the sun, as that can cause hyperpigmentation.

Wahine24 · 14/07/2024 20:32

@Sunshines89 almond oil is also very effective in reducing scars , smells lovely & cheaper

Lokshen · 14/07/2024 20:34

Anything that keeps the scar moist will work the same. Silicon tapes, vaseline, any old gentle moisturiser. The massage also helps the scar to grow with the child without stretching and puckering

Hugesunflower · 14/07/2024 20:35

I use bio oil on young child’s facial scars. She hasn’t realised I’m using in on her scars (not deep scars) and I just call it princess oil to keep her beautiful.

Everydayimhuffling · 14/07/2024 20:35

I use bio oil on the 3 year old (heart surgery as a baby) although I'm not great at doing it consistently so I'm not sure how much it helps. Why not do it?

myslippersarepink · 14/07/2024 20:35

Why on earth would you think it would be unreasonable?

SchoolQuestionnaire · 14/07/2024 20:38

Your dc won’t mind you trying to minimise her scars and she may be pleased that you did. Decleor Prolagene Gel is excellent on scars and helped heal a bad one of dd’s.

Revelatio · 14/07/2024 20:47

Hugesunflower · 14/07/2024 20:35

I use bio oil on young child’s facial scars. She hasn’t realised I’m using in on her scars (not deep scars) and I just call it princess oil to keep her beautiful.

That’s lovely you’re having that bonding time. As someone who grew up female with scars and the pressure of being a princess and being beautiful, it might be more rewarding for the child to make less of a big deal of it and bond in other ways.

JustPleachy · 14/07/2024 20:50

I would use almond oil rather than a mineral oil.

LeroyJenkinssss · 14/07/2024 21:02

RoseAndRose · 14/07/2024 20:27

Bio Oil is basically mineral oil (same as Johnson's) with a very small amount of other ingredients

I think it's much more likely that it's the act of massaging, rather that the additives to the mineral oil, that make the difference.

Her scars may well fade as she grows up. Is it really such a big deal if you try something that might help them fade a little more?

Massaging your DC is, I think, a nice thing to share. So you could do it generally, and your DD might never click that there was any connection to scars

As above it’s not the bio oil itself but massage that works. You don’t mention where they are (you obviously don’t have to) but the directionality of the scar is important as well as it’s exposure to sun

Original poster
Sunshines89 · 14/07/2024 22:07

Thanks everyone for your replies, the advice has been great and I'll look at almond oil!

I put this as AIBU as I am worried people might think I'm taking issues with her scars in trying to make them "better". My family have said we shouldn't tell her about why she has scars until she asks about them, which I don't agree with - fair enough she doesn't understand yet, but it's such a huge part of her story and a sign of her resilience, we can't help but talk about it to her and make a big deal of her successes, especially as she's doing 100x better than her consultant indicated she'd be at this stage.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunshines89 · 14/07/2024 22:10

And to add, the scars are across her stomach and on her side under one arm - so no issues as to sun exposure. The one on her stomach is where her stomach creases when she sits down so I think they're very subtly placed, but she's in a flashing stage at the moment where she likes to show people her belly 😂 so I imagine some people would've spotted it!

Those of you with scars/children with scars, will the stitch holes reduce over time? They're more obvious than the scars themselves especially when soap suds settle in them.

OP posts:
Wahine24 · 14/07/2024 22:14

@Sunshines89 i was told to tap (like rain drops) on my scar

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/07/2024 22:16

DS has a scar and I use bio oil, I tell him it's to help it stretch as he grows, which to be honest is my motivation, I have a scar from childhood chickenpox and it's slightly puckered I think due to a growth spurt and its location (I could be completely wrong)

Hugesunflower · 16/07/2024 18:45

Revelatio · 14/07/2024 20:47

That’s lovely you’re having that bonding time. As someone who grew up female with scars and the pressure of being a princess and being beautiful, it might be more rewarding for the child to make less of a big deal of it and bond in other ways.

Show quote history

It’s a bond time. It takes 5 seconds and this is a way to get her to accept it. The scars are light and she hasn’t noticed them.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 16/07/2024 18:48

Bio Oil is full of nasties. I would massage with sweet almond oil to make the scar tissue nice and supple and prevent adhesions.

You could also use silicone tape in between massages.

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