Leaving the baby and kids with sister in law for 2 nights 3 days

[ZeeB68]

So we have 3 kids, our older 2 are 7 next week and 8 ( almost 9) our youngest is our baby girl who will be 9 months next week. My sister in law and brother in law who have 3 older kids have offered to look after our kids and the baby so me and my husband can go away for a couple of nights and have a break. Baby girl has been unsettled for a couple of months now and hasnt slept properly, we are looking at booking a weekend away at the end of August when baby girl will be 10 months. We keep going to book it but I stop my husband because I just feel so guilty and worried about leaving baby. Not worried about the older two as they are much older and I've left them with sil a lot before. Baby loves sister in law, brother in law and her cousins. I just feel so guilty for doing this even though I desperately need a break. I had an extremely hard delivery with baby girl and she has been quite a difficult baby so not much sleep or rest in these last 9 months as I have older kids too.

Would you leave the baby with sil and go away for 2 nights, will be back on the 3rd.
Aibu to feel so guilty on baby for leaving her?
I guess I should feel happy that family is offering to help out and have the kids so me and husband can have some time to ourself, wwyd?

You’re leaving her with a family member who by all accounts seems to love her very much and has looked after your children in a way you’ve been happy with. I’d take her up on the offer, the kids will probably have a great time and you’ll get a good nights sleep!

I would leave with family members. I think getting away for a few nights would do good for both you and DH. 😊

I would absolutely go. It should be normalised. Marriages and parents need time for their own wellbeing.

Could you ask them to have her one night before you go away so you’re nearby and they can keep you updated as a practice run?

Then if all goes well, you can book your break and not be worrying whilst you’re away,

Go and enjoy yourself!!

Can you try the baby with one overnight with your DS? Then you’ll get used to it and she and her husband will be able to see if they can manage her being so unsettled

An experienced mother and family member? You're only real question is what thank you gift you are buying.

This is an excellent idea

The voting is odd (you asked if YABU for feeling that way, so whichever way people vote would look like they agree with you).

Anyway, I voted YABU because I would never have left my baby overnight with anyone else even if s/he wasn’t already unsettled.

You’re obviously not comfortable with doing it YET, there’s no harm in waiting - 9 months is still very young and it’s normal to feel how you do.

Can you take them up on the offer but just have a day out instead? Rather than an overnight

Can you go away somewhere local? Then if it’s not working out you can get back quickly

This sounds like a really good idea.
You are much more likely to enjoy your much deserved break away if there has been a successful practice run.

Could you just leave the two older kids and take the baby with you? I do think 10 months is too long to be away from parents for such a long time.

How old are their kids? If their kids are say 14+ I think it’s ok.

If their kids are under 13 I would say 6 kids is too much to handle.

Agree with the idea of a one night test run

Also would be prepared to call it off if baby is going through a particularly bad sleep patch (teeth/separation anxiety etc)

I personally wouldn't leave the baby, I'd hate the thought of them being upset and not being there to comfort them. There would also be the risk of being called back early.

I don't have family who could take my 8.5mo, or 3yo, so it's not an option for me anyway. I don't mind that I have to wait a few years for a break to be possible; it's part of parenthood for many people.
If you think baby will be ok then go for it. I would do a trial night while you are nearby as pp suggested. You're lucky to have such wonderful family ❤️

I probably wouldn't do two nights straight off. If your goal is relaxation and sleep, I'd stay local and do one night. Drop off early, pick up after dinner. So you get one good sleep and most of two days.