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Phone addiction, inactive 16 year old….

5 replies

Vcal2017 · 14/07/2024 01:35

Good morning: I hope I can access some creative ideas here, because I am stumped.

My lovely son, 16, is a kind, funny, thoughtful, intelligent, engaged ( in politics) young man.

But…..he is physically very inactive. He has a gym membership that rarely gets used, we have a dog we walk together sometimes. He eats far too much. I don’t have sugary things or high fat things at home often so he will take himself out and eat fast food. Alone, then come home and go to bed. Given the choice, he will literally spend days on his phone in bed.

He has gained a lot of weight and I struggle with this issue as well. I try to be a good role model and I am acutely aware of making too much of this issue, because of the impact it can have. On the other hand, I am starting to get worried especially for his adult life.

Lately people at his school have started to bully him by sending him images of overweight people. I have spoken with the school and organised a psychologist for my son, as perhaps someone who is not me might be easier for him to talk to. He gets really down about it, but any simple practical ideas I have ( let’s go swimming, eat fruit rather than biscuits, let’s go for a walk) are met with horrible resistance which leads to conflict. This in turn, triggers me, because it’s very similar to my living situation with his Dad before I left him. Yes, sometimes there are packets of biscuits which I should curtail, I know ☺️

I have suggested anti-depressants but he doesn’t want them.

He has a friend who does karate and I have suggested I will pay for him to join their classes, but he just mumbles and then there’s no traction. Nothing is met with any enthusiasm. Maybe I’m a bit scared of him? Who knows? But I want him to be healthy and happy.

Impossible situation? Am I trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change? Like I tried to with his Dad?

apologies for long post. And thank you.

Whitty

OP posts:
CheshireDing · 14/07/2024 03:22

Is the starting issue the phone? Can you have a tech free day ?

Sunday no tech at all for either of you, put them in a cupboard. Walk the dog to the coffee shop or a national park?

Pack a picnic the next time, you don't have to actually sit and eat it, maybe just walk whilst eating a banana etc

start small

Channellingsophistication · 14/07/2024 03:49

I have a DS same age who isnt that active and doesnt gym much either and loves his phone.

Sounds like your DS is very down and eating to cheer himself up. Does he see his dad?

WeAllHaveWings · 14/07/2024 11:01

Whose idea was the gym membership, yours or his? If it was his it shows some willing hitch is hopeful.

Expensive, but the best (or one of the best) things we did for ds when he was in a rut was encourage him to go to a PT. The guy specialised in teens fitness, basic heathy eating etc. ds, wouldn't listen to a word we said and lapped it all up. The guy would also chat to him when resting between reps at sessions about how he wished he'd done more at school, gave him a free session when he passed exams, talked to him sensibly about drinking etc.

It saw him through some difficult teen times, the PT did online and garden sessions through Covid, and it gave him direction on what to do at a gym and why. Had the kids doing sponsored events like climbing a local (almost) Munro to raise money for a local youth MH charity.

It really raised ds's self esteem and was educational too. If you can find a good PT they can be great role models.

takingitsleazy · 14/07/2024 11:06

WeAllHaveWings · 14/07/2024 11:01

Whose idea was the gym membership, yours or his? If it was his it shows some willing hitch is hopeful.

Expensive, but the best (or one of the best) things we did for ds when he was in a rut was encourage him to go to a PT. The guy specialised in teens fitness, basic heathy eating etc. ds, wouldn't listen to a word we said and lapped it all up. The guy would also chat to him when resting between reps at sessions about how he wished he'd done more at school, gave him a free session when he passed exams, talked to him sensibly about drinking etc.

It saw him through some difficult teen times, the PT did online and garden sessions through Covid, and it gave him direction on what to do at a gym and why. Had the kids doing sponsored events like climbing a local (almost) Munro to raise money for a local youth MH charity.

It really raised ds's self esteem and was educational too. If you can find a good PT they can be great role models.

What a great idea. I'd never think of this as an option for teenagers

takingitsleazy · 04/09/2024 15:11

Just following on from the PT recommendation…

We have done this for my teenager. It is really worth it. The accountability for arranging sessions, engaging with PT and being treated like an independent adult has been fabulous.

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