Help with DD’s Sleep

[Noname88]

Hi All, (posting here for traffic)
Need some advise on how to improve my DD sleep. She will be 2 end of September and suddenly will not go down to bed at night. I have always breast fed (when younger) and now bottle fed to get to sleep which I can see is where I’ve gone wrong. Now when I move her to her cot she will either wake on the way, won’t sleep at all when feeding or will go down fine but wake 30 minutes ish later and is wide awake and not interested in sleeping.
Mainly happens when my husband is home (works away few nights a week) but dose sometimes happen when I’m alone.
I hate to say I get frustrated and usually ends in bringing her downstairs where she ends up wanting to play (I know this isn’t the right step but when I’m tired and want to spend time with my husband it feels like only option).
Then she will come up with us and finally sleep between us.
Wondering if a toddler bed would help but then she can obviously just can out constantly.
This is my first and feel like I’ve failed by not having this sorted by now.
Any helpful advice would be appreciated.
thank you

You haven’t failed. Sleep isn’t something you can just sort out, they get there in their own time. Does she still nap during the day? My 2nd stopped napping at around 20 months and that’s when he started to sleep through, roughly 8-8. It could be that she’s ready to drop the nap. Try make her physically tired, plenty of outdoor play during the day, and then a wind down time in the evening, bath, pjs, story then hopefully off to bed.

Sounds like the 2 year sleep regression. https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/2-year-old-sleep-regression#what-can-you-do

I really feel for you OP. I remember this well with my 3 DC and the despair I felt! One thing I know is you HAVEN'T failed. They go through so many developmental leaps that it is really common for sleep to be disrupted around your DC's age. Good luck - this will pass.

@K37529 Thank you for your reply. She loves a nap tends to sleep 2ish hours at about 10:30 after waking up generally 8 but 7 twice a week when I work. Shortening her nap would definitely be a good starting point. She is very active and does a lot of play outside, I possibly slow down her routine too early so could keep bedtime routine in a shorter period of time if that makes sense.
@melisma Thank you for replying, nice to know this is a common thing. Which of course I knew but think I compare too much to my niece who is almost the exact same age and is able to self soothe. Although she was sleep trained which I knew from the start I would have trouble hearing my DD cry to sleep.

You have both made me smile and have some thoughts so thank you. When did yours move to toddler beds? Xx

My son was 3 when I changed to a toddler bed, I think my oldest daughter was about 2.5. I would try cutting the nap down to 1 hour and see how you get on.