To be up to here with older generation's attitude to car seats

[comoatoupeira]

It's this time of year again, it's the Summer holidays, and they're at it again about the car seats.
My youngest is only 11 months and they're trying to get us to put her front facing (the legs...). I reminded them we talked about that 4 years ago with the eldest (and they've been front facing since age 2, hardly radical, actually against advice).
Loosening the straps (a lot, you could get a teddy bear between them and the straps) on the 5 year old's because she says it's too tight, then driving for 5 hours on the motorway like that.
When the 5 year old gets cross because she gets tangled up getting out, muttering (not quietly, so I can hear): 'yes I know, these car seats are so stupid and unnecessary, we are living in anxious times'.
I'm just ... why? They know driving a car is the most dangerous thing we do. They've all (my parents and my in-laws) had car crashes at some point in their lives, one still has physio because of it. We know someone who's child's life was changed forever because of a car accident.
Why can't they just take it bloody seriously? What are they actually trying to achieve? What do they get out of endangering the safety of my children?
Please rant with me. Thank you.

Why don’t you just not put your kids in their cars then?

My husband is like this 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes you do, because until its well and truly hammered in there it will keep happening.

Angst the other way here. I’m the grandmother waving the ERF banner, I kept my eldest DGS RF until he was 5. Both DDs switched to FF in their cars before the kids were 2.

Yes, I remind them of the legal requirements and undisputed safety statistics, falling on deaf ears.

Is it an age thing? My parents and PIL were always scrupulous about using the car seats correctly and would never have put my children at risk. Not all the older generation are negligent or dismissive of safety.

You are a tough mother in every sense of the phrase! You got this!

🙄

My stupid ex is only 40 ish and he is absolutely dreadful for not using appropriate car safety. I found out a while ago that he was seating my young DS on a cushion in the middle because he couldn't fit 3 car seats in the back of his car and couldn't afford a bigger car. Not my fault he had too many kids and definitely not DSs fault but it would have been DS that suffered. Plus he always drives too fast.

Never had any complaints about the grandparents use of appropriate car seats though. They always just used what they were told to use.

This is true, my mum understood my need to read face as long as possible but I know people my age who buy any old seat and don’t even use it properly.

I have a relative who never put her children in child seats after they were babies. She just used to shove them in the back seat. She called her SIL soft for strapping her sons in their seats.

I babysat for a neighbour when they had childcare problems, a 6 year old boy. I had to drive him to school and when I asked about a seat, dad said Oh we don't bother.

Why do some people play fast and loose with their children's safety?