Do I get involved in DD’s life or wait for her to come to me ?

[Sneezygrumpydopey]

DD13 very moody and upset lately
her boyfriend dumped her it seems that their friends tell them both things, read her messages where she is saying to him she gets told stuff too but she ignores. He keep dumping her saying so and so said she’s cheating , including saying her bf said it.
she’s not herself at the moment not massively changes in behaviour but she seems sad and she’s not really doing as much as she was. She has lost her spark. At the same time she’s extra moody with me even sweating at me when I ask to do her room.
she has told me some of this but not all. I really want to tell her to stop contacting him and move on and have fun. But I’m not sure if this helps?
how do you support your DD’s at this time?
also feels like we are arguing more cos she’s snappy and I don’t think I should always let it go just cos of this

Hi op. Sorry to hear this is happening . Me personally didn't let the girls have boyfriends at 13 for this reason. I'm honestly not being judgemental when i say that. They are too young and erm excuse me cheating allegations at 13.. what utter rubbish but in their world it's very serious and i feel for them because it's hard growing up. I think you should absolutely get involved but in the way of letting her know you are there for her , asking her for side of the story, if she doesn't want to talk that's fine tell her if she changes her mind you're here. Maybe go to see her with her favourite food or take some ice cream up and where possible remind her of her worth and to trust herself and to not allow others to put her down. Poor sweetheart. I hope it all resolves quickly for her and you. Sending hugs.

Op sorry forgot to add. You can always tell her not to message him but finish with that you understand that's her choice but that you don't recommend it for x reasons. This way she won't hide it for you if she does keep in contact with him.

I would let her know you are available to talk if she wants to (I used WhatsApp as a means of communication quite often).

Can you take her a hot chocolate (or some other drinks/food you know she likes)? Just say something like "Thought you might like this".

If appropriate, can you have a conversation around leaving her phone at home and having a day out somewhere? Or reminding her of a hobby or something she used to like doing before phones took over. Just getting away from the negativity for a day or so can be helpful.

It'd a difficult age anyway, but the constant drama that phones create just makes it worse.

I was thinking this today and have been telling her that it seems it’s just up and down because boys are immature. But what I don’t want to do is get in the habit of her feeling she needs to hide things from me.
I have gently brought it up and just kind of said he’s far too immature and told her it makes me feel angry to see her being treated like that and I worry it affects her mood. She was reasonable about it bless her. Just so much pressure these days I’m really trying to encourage her to just focus on friendships with people now plenty of time for anything else later

Honestly hate the phone! I wish I could actually just chuck it lol