Lost my self confidence in getting a job

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I’ve been out of work since 2020 (just before the pandemic hit) prior to that I was on maternity leave with my son who is now 5.

I’m now stuck in a rut of dropping him at school, coming home, scrolling on my phone, doing housework, sometimes going out to meet people. I do volunteering once a week. But that is it. I’m kind of comfortable in this existence; but my DP being the sole earner in the household is causing us issues financially.
I have anxiety and I’m waiting for an ADHD assessment too. I also had PND after my son was born.
My self confidence has completely disappeared and I don’t feel able to get any job at all.

I didn’t have a great role model for a working mum growing up as my mum didn’t work after me and my brother were born. And she has never worked to this day, even when we were teenagers/adults.

I think I can only manage a part time role at the moment. But even that feels a million miles away at the moment due to how I feel.

Are there any jobs within the same area that you volunteer in? So it wouldn't be completely brand new to you and you might know some people already?

Ensure your CV is up to date, explain the 4 year gap as maternity leave and volunteering, most employers won't have an issue with that. There's plenty of part time jobs out there as well as work from home positions, you just have to find one that suits you.

I think starting with PT would be a good idea, just to get you confidence and in the routine of working.
It’s worth doing a skills audit, looking at what you have done before, what you do in your voluntary work, any qualifications you have etc.
Looking in the field you volunteer in would be a good start, either with that organisation or similar.

I think the problem is I’m in a total rut with it and with not working, I’ve got so used to it.

My self confidence has completely disappeared and I don’t feel able to get any job at all.

Ah love, you sound so lost. You probably know this but it's worth remembering - you don't get confident then get a job, working and all the challenges it brings is what builds you confidence. Hiding away from things at home often amplifies the anxieties and makes minor things feel much more of a big deal than when you're working and have more on your plate, so you sweat the small stuff much less. This is why some (not all - don't come at me!) retired people get more stressed about things than when they were working day to day and didn't have time to dwell so much.

You sound like you know this, but that your mum's example hasn't helped and it's tempting for you to avoid the issue, but it seems like that won't even keep the status quo but will make you more fearful as time goes by. So don't give up or wait for something to change by itself to bring your confidence back. Take whatever small steps are needed to start rebuilding your confidence and identity beyond the anxious SAHM you're coming to see yourself as. Of course making a financial contribution - and having financial independence too ultimately - are worthwhile goals in themselves and helpful that you can't let yourself off because your DH can cover it all, but really try to do it for yourself first and foremost. Anxiety meds etc will only go so far. Putting yourself out there, whether volunteering to start with or even taking on work experience or temping, will do much more to give you a sense of yourself and then take it from there.

What did you do prior to having your son? Could you return to that role/industry?

I would at the very least increase your volunteer work, this will help with your routine and being good for your cv.

Could you sign up for agency work? What about a delivery driver or something linear with a clear process and flexible hours.