ADHD and pregnancy

[Starjumpfifty]

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and I'm not handling the hormones well. I have undiagnosed ADHD (have been going through the process of being diagnosed for a while, I've had my first assessment and waiting for the final one) so I'm therefore not on medication or receiving any help to manage it.

Following the birth of my first child 7 years ago, ADHD wasn't even on my radar and I struggled IMMENSELY with my emotions. I've been relatively stable for a while now, I thought I'd be more prepared this time round due to more awareness. However, I have started to have the most epic meltdowns, causing absolute destruction to my relationships and mental health. I didn't see this coming, I'll be honest, but it's quickly reached a point where both myself and my partner are worried about how I'm going to handle the pregnancy and what comes next.
I don't want to be in this position again, I don't want to put everyone else through it, and I don't want to affect my dd7, who has not had to witness my meltdowns for a number of years now.

I got myself back into work once my DD started school, however, as luck would have it, I also lost my job just before finding out I was pregnant. I did lunch time hours during the week while DDs in school as I'm unable to work 'normal' working hours and that worked perfectly for me. It helped with my MH and I think depression is creeping in now, which isn't helping.

I have my first midwife appointment on Wednesday so I will be discussing it with her then. IME, mental health advice given by professionals isn't always the best, so AIBU in asking MN for tips on how to manage my MH/emotions going forwards to avoid the meltdowns.

I've seen there are quite a few members of MN who have ADHD, so I'm really hoping someone has some.tips which could be of help. Tia

Just to add, any suggestions, however small, are welcomed right now. Whether it be what to eat, some idea of a routine, anything ..

Estrogen tends to be higher if you are pregnant with a girl and estrogen makes adhd symptoms worse. I don't know its too early for that but sounds like it's the hormonal fluctuations generally.

For emotional regulation, identifying your triggers, using positive self talk and trying to reflect at the end of every day on what has gone well really helps xx

I had CBT. I think you can self refer (where I live they call it talking therapy) or speak to your GP about CBT.

it was life changing for me. I found that I have to do a course of it maybe every 6 months to keep me in check but it got me through pregnancy and the newborn stage !

Funny as I've been convinced this one is a boy as my symptoms have been so different than with my DD. But I have heard that estrogen can elevate ADHD symptoms so there could be something in it, we will see.

Emotional regulation has always been my issue but I've been doing so well with it more recently, I'm so disappointed in how I've backtracked. I do need to look more closely at my triggers I think. Thank you for your reply

Thank you! I was on the waiting list for CBT many years ago in my early 20's, however, nothing came of it and I've never looked into it since. I will look into self-referring now. The thought of newborn stage is terrifying right now.

CBT for sure, really helped when pregnant with my little girl.
Going for walks, nature, exercise, limit screen time, eat healthy are all good for mental health so I use alarms to remind me to do certain things.
Well done for asking for support and preparing yourself mentally as well as physically.

I have ADHD and Eostrogen is great for me, the nightmare is progesterone. I've never ever had regular periods in my life but since starting hrt it's a very clear pattern. The first two weeks of stooges is brilliant and then I swap to progesterone and it's like my mood slides down the shit chute and by the day I start the withdrawal bleed I'm borderline suicidal. The day I put the oestrogen patch back on I'm great again.

What is it you are struggling with? Are you short tempered/snapping easily?

I think being as organised as possible helps. I get anxious and snappy when I feel things are beyond my control. So organisation helps. As does verbally acknowledging that some things are beyond my control. I keep a daily list of things to do. I put 3 things that are top priority,3 mid and 3 low. The rule is that I will try my hardest to geta minimum of 3 things done a day. The following day whatever is left on my list goes up a priority level and I add however many tasks I did the day before to the list. The hope is that within a week all tubs on the list have been done. I love ticking things off so that little boost of dopamine helps. I keep every list in my notebook and it also gets having a visual reminder of how much I can achieve on a daily, weekly, monthly basis when I try.

I also find that offering compliments to people makes me feel loads better about myself, something about spreading happiness? I aim for 5 a day. Just little things like telling a check out person that I like their hair or asking where an item of clothing came from as it's beautiful and really suits them.

I love nurturing my house plants and growing veg in the summer. It definitely helps my mental health.