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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my sister is a nasty piece of work

9 replies

Loopylou20230 · 13/07/2024 01:47

Hi, just came on here to rant and see what other people think. My sister is like 5 years younger than me. We have never really got on but she’s really got worse. She has been through stuff like her first boyfriend cheated on her and she really loved him and he ruined her life in other ways like self esteem etc and has been left with considerable mental health issues. I was always here for her because I have mental health problems too and we went on a night out just to have fun and she had never been out before. Anyways we met these foreign men in the pub they were sketchy as heck and i was begging her for us to go home but she wouldn’t listen I had to go home cos my phone was dead and pay for her to come back in a taxi. She blames me to this day when she just can’t handle her alcohol. I have mentioned this because she uses this as an excuse for us to not hang out or bond. She always blames me when I begged her to come home and stayed with her and those men so she didn’t end up murdered. She isn’t interested in hanging out with me to do anything and would rather spend her time slagging me off to our mother and going out with her instead. I’ve tried my hardest to get on with her but it doesn’t work long. The other day I was having a full blown panic attack in a moving car and I didn’t say a word to her I was just freaking out shaking and she was in a foul mood and nastily started taking the mick out of me and swearing at me insulting me basically calling me a stupid B word for no reason and a C word screaming at me. What?
She comes in and out my room to use the toilet but won’t say a word and slams my doors- she’s very hostile. She calls me fat, ugly all the names under the sun and always compares me to her. She says she knows I wish I looked like her and I’m jealous (I’m really not. I’m happy in my looks), she knows that I’m fatter than her.
anyways it got worse since she met her boyfriend who lives in a different country. She’s glued to her phone 24/7 and if I say a single word about him she gets extremely defensive and nasty. She needs all his passwords, locations at all times and won’t let him speak to a single woman or have female friends. I have gone on holiday to be away cos I can’t stand seeing them play mummies and daddies in my home. The reason I have made this post is something has really annoyed me tonight. I was scrolling on Facebook and her boyfriend’s sister had posted a selfie of herself. My sister had commented “stunning” and all lovely comments and it really angered me because my sister will be so lovely and kind to a stranger but will be absolutely vile to her own sister. She also starts on my brother for no reason body shaming him and calling him fat.
I can’t stand her. Am I in the wrong here for being upset? What is wrong with this person?

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 13/07/2024 01:49

She sounds awful OP. Sorry you're dealing with this

GogAndMagog · 13/07/2024 01:55

Don't hang out with her unless its for hatches, matches or dispatches with family.

You can't choose your family. There is no reason why you have to like her and why would you?

Inspireme2 · 13/07/2024 01:58

Do you need to live together?
She seeks out attention from men without realising the consequences is a worry, but what can you do.
A long-distance relationship is so very easily misled until the person will see her in person and vis versa.
What age is she?
The nasty comments are very immature. Is it part of her mental health issue?
Ask her to stop with the teenager behaviour and leave her to her own shallow bad choices.
Let her know that foreigners luring a woman's usually asking for her to be abused.

Agapornis · 13/07/2024 02:00

Why do you live with her? Time for either of you to move out. If you're still under 18/in education, you should talk to your school about this.

Kitkatcatflap · 13/07/2024 02:45

Most people have some sort of heartbreak when they are young, she can't use that as an excuse to mistreat people close to her. Stop inviting her out, don't give her lifts, block her social media and if possible lock you bedroom door - she can use another toilet. She doesn't get to talk to you like that.

Don't get hung up on her fawning over her brother's sister, her true colours will put and she will calling her what she says to you and your brother.

The poster upthread asked if you have to live together. Are you parents around? Can they pull her up on her behaviour

Luckingfovely · 13/07/2024 03:24

It does sound grim, but there are always two sides etc.

Really, you just need to distance yourself from her. And stop letting her take up so much brain space. Build your own life and stop putting her at the centre of it. You'll be much happier.

BMW6 · 13/07/2024 04:41

Stop living with her and keep minimal contact.

Louisaaa · 13/07/2024 18:02

If you can it might be a good idea to move out... If not then just keep it minimal with her, be kind and courteous but only when she talks to you, I wouldn't initiate a conversation with her.

It sounds like she's provoking you for a reaction.

MRSRUDEBOX · 13/07/2024 18:08

I feel that you need some support, could you speak to your G.P about it? Good luck OP.

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