To ignore the neighbours kids at the door and not throw their ball back over

[Charlotteap]

It’s happening all the time now and it’s always around this time 7:30-9 when I’m bathing baby and putting him to bed and doing toddler bedtime routine , the kids knock on the door and the windows constantly, they’ve just knocked for 20 mins straight whilst I’m sat breastfeeding. The other day I put my head out of the window in the towel and said after 7pm it’s bath and bed and hard to interrupt that !! Mum has never said sorry for it happening all the time and it’s been 5 x already this week.

not to mention they blast it at my fence all night long and the fence touches my house whereas the other side it touches theirs but they never kick that one.

its a football and can easy cause an accident, sick of it hitting my plants. But I’ve got a glass table out there and baby sometimes in bouncer when we are all in garden. The other month a cricket ball went over and I went to the door and said that so could have hit my baby!

the parents don’t seem to give a shit

so AIBU to leave it till husband gets home to throw over, i am in my pjs doing about to attempt to put baby down for night

@Haveyouanyjam Thank you , you seem like a very considerate neighbour! We live overlooking a green with football nets so they’d not even have to cross a road to get to it. Don’t think I’ve ever seen them on there annoyingly

I wouldn’t answer and I’d go and speak to the parents and ask that they do not play with cricket balls when you’ve got a baby outside. They clearly can’t play without the ball going over constantly. I know it’s common and my son used to end up with his over the fence but I was on good terms with neighbour and we lifted the fence for the kids to come between gardens so he just went and got it. But if it went the other side the German shepherd would pop it, so he knew that no point knocking there.

Sorry to read that your mum accepts unreasonable behaviour. Keeping the ball will probably be effective.

I would make it clear that after 7pm you are not returning any balls until the following afternoon. They will soon stop. I suppose you couldn't plant a blackthorn in your gardden? Inch-long prickles to skewer a plastic football with.

If you've told them and they're not paying attention then you need to lose your shit at them and keep any balls that come over your fence.

I know it can be very annoying when you are in the middle of getting kids to sleep and so on. I think now and then is ok for sure, but constantly is not ok.

As for me, well my garden backs onto playing fields so you can imagine when the young ones are kicking around right outside the back gate! In fact I was nearly knocked senseless one day when a golf ball, yes a golf ball came in over the back wall and hit me in the back of the head. Stars all round. The teenagers were practising their swing on the empty football pitch!

I now have a bucket of about twenty golf balls. What do I do with them please?

Do this. Or tell parents sternly any more balls are confiscated. They’re a nuisance stop encouraging their behaviour. I’d have told them to fuck off the second time, they’re the ones causing trouble

Nah the parent response is totally wrong. I wouldn't be returning the balls.

I get it, I have 2 football mad boys but they play it on the green down the road from us. When they play in the garden (after school, before dinner) and the ball goes over its tough luck, be more careful next time.

You are entitled to enjoy your evenings in peace. I wouldn't even be answering the door in what you've described in your posts. I also wouldn't return them.

I really feel for you, I'm sorry ❤️

I wouldn't send it back....not until they learn some manners

I had this exact same problem. I told the kids that they had damaged my plants, and any further balls that landed in my garden would go directly into the recycling. They didn't believe me at first, and kicked another couple of balls over, when they shouted for me to throw them back I ignored them completely. They sent the dad round to ask for the balls back.

I told him I didn't have any balls, because the bin men had collected them that morning. Then I let him know that his boys had damaged several rare and expensive plants, and when I told them about the damage and asked them to be more careful not to kick the ball into my garden they started doing it even more. So I had warned them that I would not be returning any further balls, and had kept my word. I said I thought that was a better solution than billing him for the damage. He agreed.

Then the little sods wrenched their sister's doll out of her hands and threw it over the fence, jeering at her that she'd never see it again. So I called her over, and carefully dropped the doll into her hands.

Let the ball down. Every time. When their dm has to keep pumping it up she will share your bad mood about her dc's fucking ball...
Entitled fuckers.

@Charlotteap

Could you not just tell them to come get it? That's what I tell the kids by us. If it comes into the garden, just come get it, no need to knock.

My garden has locked gates .
Have you got a ring doorbell as you could just tell them you will get it later when you are not busy .

@halava yes I agree, now and then I would be completely fine with but it’s just getting out of hand. Ohh no that could have been dangerous! Haha practice your swing?

@Greenlittecat thank you so much, me and my siblings were football mad too but my mum was the same as you goes over tough luck!

@stealthsquirrelnutkin yeah a couple of times they’ve landed on my plants which isn’t nice is it, they took a lot of nurturing 😅 I like your way of doing things and sense that they think this is a big game too. The end made me giggle!

@Floralnomad we have locked gates too but actually was only recently telling my husband we needed a ring cam as I have been nap trapped or stuck breastfeeding a lot and would have come in handy for the delivery men. Actually going to order one now thank you !

thank you everyone for your comments I think the best action is what a lot of you said , telling them after 7 i will not be answering the door and it will be thrown back the next day. I am going to mention the cricket ball to them that came over though, it was soo heavy and I dread to think the damage that could cause if my kids are out in the garden , actually makes me sick. When it’s nice we often have our dinner out in the garden with one in high chair and other in bouncer. I’m all for footballs but cricket balls I have to draw a line at

@Charlotteap I had a couple of summers of constant footballs and cricket balls flying into the garden and nearly being hit a couple of times, I threw the balls back straight away if I happened to be in the garden and asked nicely for them to be careful as people are in there gardens and it could hit them.... It continued and they were constantly knocking on my door while I was in the middle of something where they wanted me to go get the ball back pretty immediately. I got fed up in the end and when they knocked I just told them I was busy, I'll throw them back when I'm next in the garden. Next day, throw it back, within an hour or 2 it was back in the garden, sometimes within a couple minutes, so I started extending the time it sat in my garden to days, then sometimes weeks. They got the message because I very rarely get a ball in the garden now.

You need to speak to the parents about the type of ball they are playing with . We used to have neighbours who had boys who played with proper heavy footballs and I asked the mum to stop it as I had a free range ( during the day ) rabbit that was in danger of being knocked out or worse .

My kids kick balls over all the time- I don't allow them to knock for them... They wait until the neighbour happens to find them and throw them over. They also have to apologise for it by posting a little note (which usually means they kindly return the ball anyway...).
It's certainly helped their ball control develop quickly 😬

I had this. It stopped when I started throwing it over the back fence and when they knocked on I would say "I saw it come over but it went right over there! That's impressive!" or "oops, I thought it came from that garden over there so I chucked it that way". After a few times of this happening and them having to walk round the block for it they were more careful. Never came over again. Actions have consequences I guess.

I've had this with my neighbours' boys for a couple of years now. It was fine when l moved here, they were very small back then, but of course they're older now.
I didn't mind at first, they're very polite and used to knock to ask if they could fetch their ball. Then I had a big bramble bush which had grown by the middle gate so said l'd throw the balls back so they didn't get scratched.
It's getting ridiculous now, though. I came home one day from work and there were five footballs/rugby balls in the garden. Threw them back, twice within an hour they're back again asking me to throw the ball back.
On one occasion they were in their garden with friends, knocked so l went out to throw the ball back. There was also a toy plane, so l threw that back as well - it was thrown straight back. I was furious. Went next door but the parents weren't in the living room, didn't answer. Found out later that it was one of the friends who had thrown the plane back. Dad messaged me, very apologetic, but l made it plain l wasn't happy and that l was getting sick of it.
My neighbours are lovely, l don't want to fall out with them, but it's getting beyond a joke now.
Balls, planes, screaming, kicking the ball against the fence for hours on end, when they come to knock it's like the drugs squad on a dawn raid. If l'm not at the door within five seconds, they're looking in the window.
Legally, you can't keep or damage any balls (or anything!) that comes into your garden from next door. But l've told them not to knock now, I will throw back anything that comes over into my garden THE NEXT MORNING.
Not then and there. I'm not a ball girl at Wimbledon.
They don't just have one football. If there are five in my garden at once, they have more than one or two which happens to come over.
What also annoys me is that there is a big green space almost opposite our houses. You can see it from both my and their houses so it's not like they're out of sight and safety. Losing balls over a fence there wouldn't be a problem.
I don't know why they don't just play over there. They have done in the past. Even had goal nets. But there's nothing to kick the ball against there, there's a fence in the garden, l suppose.

I did something similar. Once they stopped getting their balls back, they miraculously found the ability to refrain from kicking over into my garden.

Don't be a doormat, OP. Make them wait several days at least, to send a message.

Our neighbours just chuck them back whenever they go outside. It might be straight away, it might be hours later. This is the friendly neighbourly arrangement we have, which means they don't get door knocks at inconvenient times either. I have a rule though that once a ball goes over, they stop playing, or go to the park (they can't always do that, particularly if the local teenagers have commandeered it).

No matter that you have every right to be annoyed, don't bin or burst the balls, that's unnecessarily mean and will create bad relations with your neighbours. Also, remember it could be your kid in a few years' time putting things over the fence and playing noisily. I'd suggest speaking to them and their parents when they come to the door and setting some rules to manage their expectations. Don't shy away from dealing with this because you 'don't like confrontation' (they're kids 🙄). You don't like this situation either so do something

Them balls would die in my garden if it happened that often. Honestly OP I would probably never throw them back over or if I felt bad enough pop them helpfully onto the green you mentioned with football nets etc. It is not on at all.

Is there a way to create a slow puncture on a football? * off to google

I agree with everyone saying throw them over when you’re in the garden, but not every time they knock on the door. Totally fair to say that you won’t be answering the door after 7. It’s nice of you to keep answering until then, tbh! I’d get sick of it and probably not answer a few times to give them the hint - and I love hearing kids playing out and I’m v friendly and neighbourly.

But to those who pop the balls… that’s a bit harsh!

My DS left a toy on a neighbour’s front yard (very end of a long front garden) once and she threw it in the bin.

Fair for her to hate children going on the end of the lawn, and DS absolutely shouldn’t and has been told, but chucking the toys away is miserly and also environmentally unfriendly.

Put a sign up saying baby in bed so you
won’t be answering the door till the following morning after 9am.