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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to show family member around our new house?

4 replies

sishoes · 12/07/2024 19:28

We just moved in this week. Boxes everywhere. Family member of DHs visiting from another country for the weekend, and wants to see the house. Said family member can be confrontational and has previously upset DH quite a lot. They can’t drive and refuse to use public transport so my MIL would be bringing her to have a look around. It was probably my MILs idea as she is who she is staying with. Family member is disinterested in us most the time. It’s difficult to find any form of common ground, I find her very fake and over the top. Any looking around she does will be nosiness - why would you want to look around someone’s house who you aren’t that bothered about? Also, she’s a heavy smoker and all her clothing smells of smoke. I don’t want her sitting on our brand new sofas. I recognise this makes me sound precious but we’ve never paid so much for brand new sofas, I just want to keep everything nice.

DH isn’t particularly bothered either way and suggested we say we’re busy if we aren’t fussed to see her. AIBU to just say no and be ‘busy’? I’ve probably met the woman 5 times and I’m really not in an entertaining-type mood let alone show round my house room by room but I don’t know if it’s highly antisocial and I should just tolerate it. It’s our first weekend in our new house and we have lots we can be doing to put time to better use!

WWYD?

OP posts:
Isseywith3witchycats · 12/07/2024 19:54

No is a complete sentence suggest that maybe the next time she visits would be better timing as you will have a nice tidy house to show her round just say this time you are too busy sorting your new house out

coconutpie · 12/07/2024 20:21

"No, sorry, we are not able to host visitors right now".

Do not engage any further.

Skyrainlight · 12/07/2024 21:13

I think it's perfectly reasonable not to be expected to entertain your first week in a house when everything is going to be chaotic. I would say no.

AmelieTaylor · 12/07/2024 21:23

'Sure, but we'll be very busy getting sorted so will only be able to have a quick cup of. Tea then carry on & she'd need to be careful not to trip over any boxes, we'd hate her to hurt herself'

i think it's the least family drama option & takes no real effort. Put something on the sofa (pikes of clothes, bedding & only make a wood/plastic seat available.

i am very anti smoking & the smells, but it won't linger if you hurry them along!

of course if you don't think it'll upset MIL too much (or don't care) then say 'No'.

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