To feel out of my depth

[thegreenlight]

After a very stressful couple of years on an anti depressant I have put on 3 stone. I have always been able to manage my weight before so it’s a bit upsetting. I tried swapping drugs but they really didn’t agree with me so now I’m back on the one that makes me fat. I have been referred to a dietician who has told me to throw away the scales, delete my fitness pro and eat what I want being kind to myself. I’ve started the gym 3 days a week but I have a really hostile relationship with food (binge/restrict) and my mum (who now lives at the end of my garden) is struggling with the fact I have put weight on and told me to decide what is more important (which led to a breakdown - see previous thread!) she has judged my value by my weight all my life and her comments are really getting me down. I have never not weighed or tracked what I’m eating. I’m actually really scared! Words of advice? I don’t think I know how to eat what I want without guilt and self hatred!

Your mum is awful. She has all these weird opinions and issues. It is her with the problem, not you. And she’s trying to make her food issues your problem so she doesn’t have to think about them in relation to her. If you weren’t there, or were skinny as a rake, who would she be able to deflect onto? I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to stop accepting her issues as your problem. And if that means silently standing up and walking out of the room while she’s still talking, or even telling her that she has to find somewhere else to live because you cannot cope with her problems, then so be it.

Listen to your dietician. Presumably they didn’t become a dietitian by reading a couple of self help books and going to slimming world? They have qualifications. They know what they’re talking about. Ask them if they can recommend any counsellors specialising in disordered eating 💐