What is wrong with my 1 year old?!

[luce6]

14 month old DD has always been a dream when it comes to sleeping.

Up until a month ago, we had a solid routine of dinner between 5-6, bath 6:30, cuddles, bottle and bed between 7-7:30 and up between 6:30-7:30.

She dropped to one nap on her own just before her first birthday, this is usually 10-11:30/12.

She will sometimes nap for the odd 10-20 minutes if we have to go out in the car.

She is walking, says a lot of words, we play together, we walk the dog every day and she runs around, we meet friends at soft play etc so she's burning energy every day.

She eats 3 solid meals a day including healthy snacks and drinks plenty of water.

For the past month, she is up at midnight until 2/3am, screaming, won't settle, I've given her water, I've given nurofen in case it's her teeth (she has 8 but I think I can see a 9th coming through), I've changed her nappy in case she's uncomfortable, she's not cold and not too hot. She's always loved her cot. She has a black out blind, we keep her room a "happy" place as in if she does something like tip the dogs water bowl over for the 4th time we never tell her no and put her in her room, we tell her no and place her in her play pen so her bedroom is never used as "punishment" not that we punish her as such, just a firm no and move her away and place her in playpen.

Nothing in her routine has changed but for some reason we have 2-3 hours of inconsolable screaming and wanting to play in between cries.

I've tried cuddling her, I've tried laying her back down and saying "it's bedtime" and leaving the room (which causes her to cry so much she starts hyperventilating so I go back in). If I put her in our bed she just starts trying to play with me or DH, then she starts getting "grabby" because she's tired, pinching, trying to bite, pulling hair etc. so co sleeping doesn't work.

Basically, I would really like my good little sleeper back, my DH and I are shattered from broken sleep.

She's CMPA and on prescription formula but as she's over 1, this is now her last tub so I've been switching an extra oz each night for oat milk which she's always had on weetabix etc. could this be why? Could she have stomach ache? Her poos have been normal.

Any suggestions? Is now the time to proper sleep train? Gently, I'm not going to leave her to cry herself to sleep but we've made a rod for our own back by cuddling her to sleep every night which wasn't a problem until she started getting up at silly hours.

I need help!

I reckon colic. Tummy ache. Have you tried keeping her upright to fall to sleep?

@luce6 which oat milk are you giving to her? If normal one then it could be giving her tummy ache. Have you tried alpro growing up oat milk? It's fortified with vitamins and iron which you don't get in normal oat milk

I've tried massaging her tummy, would colic drops still work for a 1 year old? I used them a couple times as a baby but not since x

We are using the growing up oat milk for 1+, has a giraffe on the front x

I would film her room for a few nights to see if you can see/hear anything causing a problem and to see how she sleeps up until that point/what she does immediately before waking.

It may well be time to sleep train so she can settle herself, could be as simple as she's waking between sleep cycles, is unable to soothe herself and ends up getting really upset.

I'd also think about moving the nap more towards the middle of the day, but do the other stuff first.

The one with the giraffe is the soya one, that's what my little one has. The oat one has a monkey on the front. Alot of cmpa babies are allergic to soya also so she could definitely be in pain if you've accidentally been giving her the soya one😬

@Devilsmommy sorry yeah I meant the one with the monkey on it, it says oat at the top. Sorry I'm sleep deprived 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

She has a camera on her cot which records any movement etc and it just seems that around that time she starts moving about more then sits up, finds a dummy, lays back down and then will get up a minute later to stand holding the rail of her cot crying and screaming 🙁

Sounds very much like the issue is she can't self settle then.

I'd get to the sleep training.

Does the video have sound so you know there is nothing waking her up at that time?

@luce6 🤣 that's good though. Completely get the sleep deprivation. My little one spent the first 14 months just fighting sleep, I was a zombie for most of it. Then all of a sudden he started sleeping through. God knows what happened but I keep fingers 🤞 it doesn't stop 😂 maybe she's having a regression or separation anxiety. Though I'm sure round about 15 months they can start having nightmares. Really don't know what to tell you to do, solidarity, it's hard but it is just a phase and will eventually pass. Plenty of caffeine for you in the meantime 😊

I imagine she has reached a developmental stage where she realises she is separate from you and that she prefers to be with you. For almost all of human history (in the grand scheme of history), a 1 year old who woke in the night and found themselves alone would have been in severe danger from predators. So they are "programmed" to feel safest when caregivers are near.

Which isn't directly helpful, but might help stop you thinking something is "wrong".

With mine I just went in, said "ssh, mummy's here", and just kept lying them back down and letting them have my hand on their chest for a bit of comfort and pressure, saying "it's night night time". I didn't play and wasn't very interesting, but neither was I callous.

Then they get to 15 and you cannot get the buggers to wake up!

Sounds like sleep regression! My 16m did exactly this last night and I suspect we are in for a bit of a rolllercoaster up ahead now too. From experience with my eldest these usually lasted about a month or so, with current baby around his 1st birthday it only lasted a week. Apparently there is a tough regression around 18m and my eldest was definitely going through at 17m, was awful and you just do whatever you need to get through, sleep and survive! Hang in there and definitely find a sleep training method that works for you if you're ready to go down that route.

First molars coming in, I reckon. It's a doozy. Try a bit of calpol. You'll soon get your answer.

When one of mine was having tummy troubles the consultant told me one way they narrowed it down to think that may be why they were waking/upset was that infant/child pain relief wasn't working.

If she's still screaming when with you in the night - for example if you've taken her out of the crib and are playing/singing etc., then it's less likely it's b/c she wants to be with you.

One more thing, constipation can be very painful and a child can still be constipated even if they are having bowel movement daily (not fully emptying).

[Another note, teething is painful, but should resolve within a couple weeks and respond to pain relief.]

I'd try cutting out the oat milk and see if that makes a difference. Any other newer foods? Sometimes reactions are delayed and build. One of my is CMPA and one of mine has a reaction to gluten, both get pain with even the slightest cross contamination.

If the cutting of milk isn't working and she's still crying when with you and after pain relief, I'd book a GP appt and speak to HV. Keep a food diary and record of her waking, level of upset upon waking, what you tried that didn't work etc.

Good luck.

Sleep regression, growth spurt, plus attachment anxiety. And potentially bad dreans

DS had been a perfect sleeper until his molars came through. I spent hours singing lullabies.

As long as there is no medical reason, this is usually one of those "sleep regressions". As they grow older, little humans become more and more aware of their surroundings and at night especially, as they themselves change as little people, so do their dreams, their awareness of the dark things like that. Many go through a similar bump in sleep around the same age. It may take time, but they just need to eventually learn how to get back to sleep/that all is well/they are safe etc, despite the dark/what dream they've had and so on.