To worry what our neighbours think?

[judgeyneighbours]

Long story as short as possible, a couple of months ago we moved into a new house in a very quiet and sought after location of the city we live in. Lovely little estate. We have briefly met our neighbours on each side to say hello and introduce ourselves but no in-depth conversations so we are still fairly new faces on the cul de sac.

A few weeks ago, my 18 year old daughter's best friend called my daughter in floods of tears and highly distressed to tell her she'd been assaulted and needed to come to us as a place of safety. My daughter had her phone on loudspeaker as this was playing out and I could hear both my daughter's friend and the perpetrator of the assault shouting and it was very distressing and worrying. I instantly called the police and gave them her location and ours, and told her to get herself over to us as quickly as she could. She did that and we obviously took care of her. The police then arrived to take her statement.

However there were 2 police cars and 4 officers outside our address at this point, they explained that the other car had just been to speak to the perpetrator of the assault and that's why there were so many. For a short time before coming into our house they were all convened outside having a discussion before they came in. So to anyone looking out of their windows at this time (it's a very small estate), it would have looked extremely obvious the police were at our address.

My question is: in my situation as a fairly new neighbour, would you knock on doors and explain the situation and that it wasn't us who were in any trouble? I'm worried that they are judging us essentially.

I'd just like to add, before anyone accuses me of being heartless - I'm focusing on this only because my daughters friend is absolutely fine now and has stayed with us for the past few weeks and we have helped her get through it, so she is OK.

Would you explain the context to neighbours or am I overthinking this?

No need to say anything.

If anyone asks just say a friend of your daughter had some trouble and came to you for help.

The truth without unnecessary detail.

The Police can be at someone's house for many reasons. Victim, perpetrator, witness etc.

Hope your daughters friend is OK. I think you're overthinking it tbh.

You could mention without going into detail if you like as part of chatting to them. I did have a police woman tell me my dh had died a few years ago. Although that would normally be only one police car, not two like you had

The biggest busybodies will usually out themselves by being so curious they can't resist trying to find out more info. So don't be surprised if someone sidles up. Have a short and to the point answer ready ("we were so glad we could be of assistance") and for bonus points, some very vague hints at juicy gossip that will keep them busy elsewhere ("did you see the good looking but obviously furtive guy with the expensive car on the corner the other day...what did you think?")

I'd want to know because I'm nosy AF.

But you're overthinking. No one will care. Hope the friend is ok.

Ah I see, not unreasonable at all, I just presumed she was outside as you mentioned it was on loudspeaker and the neighbours would hear

Jesus, she was the victim of a crime and you were helping her.

As a neighbour I'd be concerned and curious but not assuming you're a bunch of criminals!

The only time I would judge would be if the neighbour was carted off in handcuffs by the police, that’s the only circumstance I would think it was due to criminal activity by the neighbour. So, you are definitely overthinking.

In a situation like yours I would worry you had bad news or I would wonder if you had been robbed.

Of course not!! We have had police and ambulances turn up for emergencies - medical (DH) and mental health related (DD) and we don't explain to our neighbours.

To be fair, we have sheltered housing near us for people in poor physical and / or mental health, so emergency vehicles frequently attend. So people don't take too much notice where we live.

I would hope you where all ok. I wouldn't think anything bad. We had police come to our house because a crime was committed against us. They turned up at 8am on a Sunday 3 days after it happened 🤨 it was a knife threat towards my husband. They stayed for 2 hours then declared they couldn't do anything. We live in a cul de sac. We had 1 neighbour ask. No one else did

Yes, I would explain the situation. Because if I saw that as a neighbour I would think there may be domestic violence issues in the home and I needed to keep an ear out in case I needed to report further incidents and it would be a relief to hear that's not he case and the issue has been resolved.

@Mounjaroooooh
No the phone call took place in the house. My concern re the neighbours was that they'd have noticed the police cars outside, not that they heard the call.