I want to be free

[FreeAsABird23]

I have two young children, and in between looking after them, I work from home and take care of the house. I have no time to myself and I'm constantly beholden to someone else's needs. It feels relentless, the dreary weather and same routine, the constant physical invasion of my body and space and mind.

I can't remember the last time I did something for myself. I see transient friends at kids events but I don't have any true friends, and my family live hundreds of miles away. I'm 40 next year and I still long for a life of adventure but it's becoming increasingly out of reach. Life seems to be slipping away in a blur of mundanity.

This morning I had a vision of cutting off the metal chains and running free like I did as a child, arms outstretched. I fear I'll never feel like that again in real life.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? I know I'm not alone.

Do you have a partner/DH? If so you need to make time for yourself.

This!

I do feel like this too and the only way I can get some time to myself would be to get up at 4:30/5, or stay up super late but that doesn’t work because I fall asleep before then. On the odd occasion I have actually managed to get up super early and go out for a walk, the birdsong was absolutely ridiculous, it was very worth it! Or just standing in the garden for 10 mins first thing is actually so good for you. But pretty depressing if your only alone time is standing in your garden at dawn 😄

I do go out a couple of evenings a week but it’s not alone time. Alone time doesn’t happen.

I have a husband. He works long hours, out the house from 6-6, and then usually working into the evenings at home as well once the kids are in bed. He does his absolute best to give me spare time in the weekends, but to be honest neither of us have time to ourselves. It's the season of life with young kids. I'm self employed so any time without the kids has to be spent working in order to stay financially afloat. It's the same for my husband - we're both either working, doing chores or childcare. We both absolutely pull our weight.

How old are your kids?

2 and 6

Parenting is hard when you have a child it's a life changer.
But they do grow up.
I had mine younger than you I still remember how hard it was.
It was only me single mum.
But time does fly and I have my time back now as they are both adults.
No advice really but it does get better.

Well - to be blunt - this is family life with kids.

In my 20s i had 3 under 5 at one point, and 4 part time jobs, and at times it felt like drudgery and was relentless.

They do grow up. My 3 older ones are young adults and I've got a 4th child now (10) so doing it all again! Sucker for punishment!

Find the joy in life. Count your blessings. It's a cliche but it can bring you up.

Finding even just one slot per day, or week, to yourself will go a long way towards making you feel better. Have you a break away booked? Having something to look forward to helps.

I think that is the nature of parenting. A lot of parents feel like that. There is a sub on reddit specifically for regretful parents.