To be easily offended?

[sal96]

Background
There is a family wedding coming up and my MIL has been overly excited to find out what I’m wearing for it. She wanted to come shopping with us for me to find it.

I ended up finding a dress on a day she wasn’t there. We came home with the bag, she was all excited, we showed her and she said NOTHING. Literally just stared at it and said ‘with what colour shoes’ and then I said silver and she didn’t respond. Not even a ‘nice’ ‘lovely’ ‘colour is nice’ or even a ‘I’m not sure I love it but as long as your happy’. I’m fine with honesty, but to completely ignore me 😂

Additionally, and I mean this in the least arrogant way possible, I have way better taste than my MIL, she likes ott glitter sparkles etc and I like elegant, classic styles. Just ranting honestly, found it slightly offensive 😅

Seems like she doesn't like the dress and doesn't want to be rude. That's why she said nothing.

She didn't like the dress because her style is different.
It's not really about the dress is it.

For me the whole thing is a bit teen girl dynamic, but either she didn’t like it or she really did and was envious, who knows,

It's not rude not to lie.
If I hated something I'd probably do similar because you can tell when someone's lying.

You admit that your styles are very different, so perhaps she just found it a bit underwhelming, not sparkly enough, and didn't want to be rude so said nothing. She may have been brought up being told "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

I want to see the dress. Also I'd like to see the sort of dress your MIL would have chosen for you.

She doesn't like it or maybe doesn't think it's "fancy" enough but didn't want to be rude. So said nothing dress isn't her style.

I mean your MIl will be a bit older than you doesn't mean your "style " is better just different

I have way better taste than my MIL, she likes ott glitter sparkles etc and I like elegant, classic styles. 😂

that's your opinion. EVERYONE has good taste and a great sense of humour.

She doesn't like the dress but didn't want to make a rude or unpleasant comment. Why do you care if she doesn't like it?

Would you ask what she would prefer and go and buy that instead? Of course not, so what's the problem?

I'd you don't have something nice to say don't say anything I'm guessing.

I'd put it out of my head and do a inner eye roll.

Smug much OP?

I don’t think she can win can she? You think her taste is naff, she probably feels the same. She’s taken what she feels is the least offensive route without lying.

You can’t have it both ways: if you don’t have the same taste allow her to be who she is without being either rude or inauthentic and be happy with your own choices.

"Additionally, and I mean this in the least arrogant way possible, I have way better taste than my MIL, she likes ott glitter sparkles etc and I like elegant, classic styles."

Another way of looking at it could be that you like 'basic tried and tested for generations' styles that a lot of people find boring and see you as having no individuality or courage to be different.

I personally think everyone should wear what they like, but your arrogance and lack of awareness annoys me, the idea that you are superior because you prefer a different look. I personally am not into glitter and sparkles but that doesn't mean I have better taste, it's just different.

Where we are right now, the country we’re in, everyone wears sparkles. By me choosing a more classic look, I am being different. And I did say I’m saying it with the least arrogance possible but yeah maybe I’m just being too sensitive to be honest

You should go NC.

You MiL was shocked by your choice. Given your respective styles she was probably taken aback by how plain/non weddingy/dull she thought it was and was lost for words. You'll be the same when she reveals hers and you're shocked by how flashy/garish/overdone you think it is.

She didn't like it and didn't know how to say it tactfully, so she stuck firmly to the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" rule.

Yeah that does seem a bit rude as she was so keen to see it.

Ah, maybe she is worried you are going to let them down by not dressing up enough? If it is customary to wear sparkles in that country, turning up in a plain dress might be like turning up in jeans at an Indian wedding?

Taste is subjective, yours isn't necessarily better or worse. The arrogance is in claiming it's better. Least arrogance is just a statement of fact, my MIL and I have really different taste. You sound like a little kid declaring you're best.

She is a rude woman if she really said nothing.

This sounds like a total storm in a teacup. She didn’t like your choice of dress and wasn’t that concerned to conceal it. So what, though? You know your tastes are dissimilar. Is what is actually ‘offending’ you the fact that you think she should have either lied or pretended she liked it?

Well, are you going to lie and say you like her choice of outfit ( with your taste being far superior ) or are you going to say you don’t like it?…

You don't like her taste but you're offended that she doesn't pretend to like yours? Let it go. It's not up to her to validate your choices and you seem pretty confident in them. Enjoy your classic dress and she can enjoy her sparkles, it's not like her compliment would mean much to you if you don't think she has good taste or did you want her to see the light and ditch the sequins on the sight of your superior outfit?

I think she was maybe a little too honest in her reaction but that's ok. Just adopt the same level of honesty next time she chooses something you don't like rather than politely kind as you likely would be.