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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I stood at a concert

694 replies

MangosteenSoda · 11/07/2024 01:12

Went to a concert and had a seat to the side of the stage. In my experience, everyone stands when the act comes on. This didn’t happen universally, but probably around a quarter of the crowd started by standing. I was a little in front of most of the other ‘standers’ and sort of leaned on my seat a bit to minimise myself I suppose, but wanted to enjoy the songs and not sit.

A few songs in, a lady behind me tapped my arm and asked me to sit because her boyfriend/husband (sitting next to her) couldn’t see. I just said, ‘I’m sorry, but this is a concert’ and carried on standing. I’m pretty small and there were massive screens and a stage. I don’t think I blocked it all out.

A few songs later, the ‘very popular and famous’ song was performed and everyone stood up including the woman and her boyfriend. After that, most of the crowd continued standing and a bunch of people were dancing like windmills and nobody bothered them. The angry man and his girlfriend stormed out at this point.

I don’t have a particular aibu, but I felt that I was only asked to sit because I looked like an easy target to ask. It annoyed me that the woman had to ask for the guy and that it was put to me that I should sit because this guy’s preference was all important. I also felt sad for the woman because she was wearing the band T Shirt (so I assumed she was the fan) and this guy seemed to ruin her night with his moans and complaints while she just seemed to want to dance and enjoy the concert like everyone else.

So, should there be areas at concerts where everyone has to stay seated? I don’t think all the seating areas should be this way because they outnumber the floor and it would make for pretty sedentary concerts but maybe a compromise somewhere?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Krumblina · 13/07/2024 23:00

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 13/07/2024 22:58

Can you suggest which concerts the are for "proper" adults since it's now teens and those who might be reliving their past as teens who stand?

Nah I was being silly. Although people are literally only saying stadium pop gigs which are a tiny minority of gigs.
Anyway you still can't assume most people want to stand just because they've been forced to be those in front of them. That's my point

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 13/07/2024 23:05

Krumblina · 13/07/2024 23:00

Nah I was being silly. Although people are literally only saying stadium pop gigs which are a tiny minority of gigs.
Anyway you still can't assume most people want to stand just because they've been forced to be those in front of them. That's my point

Actually they're on about pop and rock.

And you can't assume they didn't want to stand either

Because people DO like to stand. And will sit when they need to

Krumblina · 13/07/2024 23:08

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 13/07/2024 23:05

Actually they're on about pop and rock.

And you can't assume they didn't want to stand either

Because people DO like to stand. And will sit when they need to

Ok. If you want to believe you don't infringe on others you can. You don't seem to want to listen to the many people telling you otherwise.

gamarjoba · 13/07/2024 23:08

I would always aim to get a standing ticket if I could.

Last year DP and I went to see Sam Fender. Couldn't get standing tickets so had to have seated. Not one person sat round us. However have been at gigs before where most people have been sitting.

I think it's a case of reading the atmosphere at the gig.

Krumblina · 13/07/2024 23:09

It's funny people have to come up with excuses and insults. I'd almost respect it if they just said nah I just like being selfish.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 13/07/2024 23:15

Krumblina · 13/07/2024 23:08

Ok. If you want to believe you don't infringe on others you can. You don't seem to want to listen to the many people telling you otherwise.

And you don't want to seem to listen to the many people telling you otherwise

Krumblina · 13/07/2024 23:17

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 13/07/2024 23:15

And you don't want to seem to listen to the many people telling you otherwise

Telling me what? That some people don't mind you standing in front of them? Obviously.
But there are people that do mind. That's simply a fact. You're the one pretending they don't exist.
You can choose to be selfish.

Sjh15 · 14/07/2024 08:14

Yabu -
im pregnant. I’m suffering from back ache a lot. No chance I could stand and dance through a concert. A little consideration for others (maybe he had a disability?) would be nice. If you wanted to stand then lots of concerts have those standing areas at the bottom

K0OLA1D · 14/07/2024 08:39

CandiedPrincess · 13/07/2024 22:15

It's ace being disabled. Beautiful attitude people have

Why are you wants and needs more important than mine?

Just carry it on. The other poster had all their abelist gushing deleted

jasminocereusbritannicus · 14/07/2024 09:00

I am obviously too old … I do not understand why everyone has to stand if you’ve got a seat. It really ruins it for me .
If you want to stand get a standing ticket, but let those of us who need to sit enjoy the view too.
You can have just as good a time, it doesn’t alter the way you perceive the music…you can still sing and jig along in your seat.

OlliesMam43 · 14/07/2024 09:11

MangosteenSoda · 11/07/2024 01:12

Went to a concert and had a seat to the side of the stage. In my experience, everyone stands when the act comes on. This didn’t happen universally, but probably around a quarter of the crowd started by standing. I was a little in front of most of the other ‘standers’ and sort of leaned on my seat a bit to minimise myself I suppose, but wanted to enjoy the songs and not sit.

A few songs in, a lady behind me tapped my arm and asked me to sit because her boyfriend/husband (sitting next to her) couldn’t see. I just said, ‘I’m sorry, but this is a concert’ and carried on standing. I’m pretty small and there were massive screens and a stage. I don’t think I blocked it all out.

A few songs later, the ‘very popular and famous’ song was performed and everyone stood up including the woman and her boyfriend. After that, most of the crowd continued standing and a bunch of people were dancing like windmills and nobody bothered them. The angry man and his girlfriend stormed out at this point.

I don’t have a particular aibu, but I felt that I was only asked to sit because I looked like an easy target to ask. It annoyed me that the woman had to ask for the guy and that it was put to me that I should sit because this guy’s preference was all important. I also felt sad for the woman because she was wearing the band T Shirt (so I assumed she was the fan) and this guy seemed to ruin her night with his moans and complaints while she just seemed to want to dance and enjoy the concert like everyone else.

So, should there be areas at concerts where everyone has to stay seated? I don’t think all the seating areas should be this way because they outnumber the floor and it would make for pretty sedentary concerts but maybe a compromise somewhere?

I had a standing ticket for a rock concert. This was my view for the first few songs. He arrived with drinks for his (short) wife stood just to the side of us about 2 minutes before the band came on. I couldn’t even see the big screen.

I understand you wanted to have fun but it’s also a seated area & buying that ticket generally means sit down.

I stood at a concert
DangerousAlchemy · 14/07/2024 09:21

Wattlemania · 11/07/2024 03:04

YABU. Standing means you are definitely blocking someone’s view. The concert is there for everyone, not just for your enjoyment.

Each to their own but you’ll never catch me again going to concerts or any type of live performance. Last one was a serious play and people talked, looked on mobiles and ate all the way through it. I didn’t catch much of the performance. What a waste of time and money.

@Wattlemania totally off subject but we went to watch A Quiet Place - Day One at the cinema yesterday and couple in seats next to me talked or whispered through 1st 45 mins of the (very quiet, hence the title) film 🙄🙄 the bloke also ate crisps for a solid 30 minutes really loudly and opened cans of drinks during the tense silent moments (3pm showing so it's hardly a meal time & film was 1 hr 40 mins long so he was hardly going to starve if he hadn't eaten during the film). I had to 'shush' them after 45 mins because they were ruining the film for me. People are so fucking rude and inconsiderate these days tbh.

RampantIvy · 14/07/2024 09:23

Leafygreen84 · 11/07/2024 01:17

YANBU. What a miserable atmosphere iF everyone is sitting quietly in their seats!

I would like the option to sit down at a gig without having my view obscured. It doesn't make me miserable. What makes me miserable is getting back ache after standing for a couple of hours because the person in front is obscuring my view.

MrsB74 · 14/07/2024 09:30

Firefly1987 · 11/07/2024 01:40

I think it depends who else in your block is standing. I went to see Bruno Mars a few years ago and just one guy in our block stood up in the row in front only in my eyeline. It blocked my view for half the concert and I couldn't stand up myself because I'd block others view-and feel quite uncomfortable being the only one standing in my row. I'm too polite to say anything plus he was on his own and I assumed SEN from his dancing and fact he didn't care that he was the only one standing. I echo others sentiments-get a standing ticket, there's plenty?

Surely a Bruno Mars concert is one where everyone stands up? Weird.

DecoratingDiva · 14/07/2024 09:54

This is why I don’t go to concerts anymore. I don’t want to stand, I certainly don’t want to stand because I have no option as the people around me are standing.

I would always buy a no standing ticket (the standing ones at large arenas are usually in the arena floor and don’t have seats anyway!) but it doesn’t make any difference

Islandgirl68 · 14/07/2024 09:58

You did nothing wrong, that is what you do at a concert. I was at take that in Manchester it was a seated venue, so yes there were times p

RampantIvy · 14/07/2024 10:14

Surely a Bruno Mars concert is one where everyone stands up? Weird.

What is weird about not wanting to stand up for a couple of hours?

FlamingoQueen · 14/07/2024 10:37

Wow! This is the reason I hate concerts. If you want to stand then get a standing ticket. Nothing worse than the selfish person who doesn’t give a shit about anyone around them.

Navyontop · 14/07/2024 10:38

Yeah I think you’re selfish.
Buy tickets for the standing area if you want to stand, not everyone can stand and often it’s not obvious.
unless you’re 18 and have no life experience, I say total AH.

Harry12345 · 14/07/2024 10:41

I am disabled but would never expect people to sit through a concert, it’s not the cinema

downtownlights · 14/07/2024 10:41

It’s bonkers, only on MN! Out in the world everyone stands at pop/rock concerts most of the time. I think a lot of people with an issue with it just don’t go to gigs!

RampantIvy · 14/07/2024 10:45

downtownlights · 14/07/2024 10:41

It’s bonkers, only on MN! Out in the world everyone stands at pop/rock concerts most of the time. I think a lot of people with an issue with it just don’t go to gigs!

It's selfish that a lot of people don't understand that everyone has different needs.

I don't go to gigs any more.

Krumblina · 14/07/2024 10:47

downtownlights · 14/07/2024 10:41

It’s bonkers, only on MN! Out in the world everyone stands at pop/rock concerts most of the time. I think a lot of people with an issue with it just don’t go to gigs!

I go to loads of gigs. It's a mixed bag. Do you mean arena's only? That's a tiny percentage of gigs.

TheBerry · 14/07/2024 10:59

I checked the Co-op Arena’s policy. It says:

CAN I STAND UP AND DANCE AT MY SEAT?
Yes, we want you to have a good time and to enjoy yourself. That said, please be mindful of people around you, and don’t stand on seats or block walkways, stairways or aisles. To keep everyone safe, please don’t climb, crowd surf or mosh either. We love our fans, and we strongly encourage you to be considerate and look after each other.

I feel this should be the end of the matter. OP is NBU.

Zachandhisdigdigs · 14/07/2024 11:22

I'm with you that I would book a seated ticket and then stand.
I'm also very short and find when I book standing, you get yourself in a position you can see (usually leaving a gap between myself and the nesrest person in front to maximise visibility) and then the tallest person you could imagine tends to stand smack in front of you when the act starts.