‘You fucking brass.’

[Bibbidybobbidyboo1]

I don’t like FIL. This is nothing new, his loud and an insufferable know it all.

Tonight (in ‘jest’) he called me a ‘fucking brass,’ This is just dick behaviour isn’t it? Dp often minimises his ridiculous comments because ‘it’s just how he is’ - but this one has really pissed me off.

Wibu to bring it up to DP tomorrow?

A brass like a prostitute?

yes that’s not very nice!

What was he saying? That you're a prostitute? Of course that's unacceptable but he's obviously not going to change. Your h needs to start calling out his behaviour or stop going.

Why don’t you say something to FIL?

Classy family. What did your husband do to defend.

@pinkpillowlady yes… I could take you fucking idiot, cow, dick, arsehole… ‘in jest 🙄’ but something about brass really fucked me off!

I know what “Brass” is slang for and it’s not a respectful thing to call a woman, particularly a family member, and if this is his idea of humour he needs to get his ideas out of the dark ages and your DH should be appalled and backing you up.

Isn't 'brass' slang for a prostitute?

Yeah I'd be fucking livid and I would not be happy with him or my 'd'p.

In future tell 'd'p that unless he starts handling his father properly you will and it won't be pretty because 'that's just how you are now'.

None of that's acceptable OP. It's not okay for people to call you names.

It was off the back of something really stupid…

Basically he did something stupid & usually I wouldnt comment on people’s mistakes but as I say, because he is such a sarcastic know it all I said ‘well that was silly.’ Can’t remember his exact reply but it was along the lines of ‘I know you fucking brass.’ 🙄

What is brass??

I assumed you/he meant grass? As in snitch

@cupcaske123 no I know, it isn’t and I would never call him those names, he is such a monumental wanker… dp is honestly his complete opposite, I know he thinks his dad is an idiot to but I suppose he is trying to minimise to keep the peace. I’ll definitely bring it up to do tomorrow.

@IamaRevenant no brass is an old fashioned word for prostitute and really offensive imo.

OP this is obviously a boiled frog situation that you've become used to. He's an abusive toe rag and you shouldn't put up with that again. I'm furious thinking about it. He's being so disrespectful to you. Your husband needs to sort this out and put an end to it. If it happens again, cut him dead.

This!

@cupcaske123 i can’t stand him to be honest, it’s definitely got worse throughout the years though… dp has suggested in the past i was too sensitive to his comments because im not used to him but i don’t think not wanting be called a fucking brass is being precious it’s just so disrespectful and derogatory.

Well your DP can do one with that attitude. Expecting his wife to put up with name calling because he's too spineless to deal with it. He's trying to get you to put up and shut up to make his life easier. Let him know, in no uncertain terms that you won't put up with it again.

What age is FIL?

Why is your partner willing for you to be insulted to "keep the peace " ? Is there a potential inheritance in play?

Why would you not get up and walk out if he called you a whore?

Urgh poor you what a disrespect horrible man, your partner needs to say something

YANBU. In your shoes I would tell your DP if he father doesn’t stop speaking to you that way you will not have contact with FIL. Or simply reply with - why are such a cunt?

@BettyBardMacDonald in his late 50s. I don’t think it’s that with dp I think he is just used to his dads vile behaviour and thinks his harmless really.

I was so taken aback by it, even by his standards… I just pulled a shocked face. Kicking myself now for not telling him not to call me that ever again. We are on holiday with them unfortunately.

@AdoraBell I am one or two comments away from calling him out, for sure.

Just the fact that he swore shows he is ''not very nice''.

Calling anyone a ''Fucking'' anything is beyond the pale and quite aggressive, but ''F&cking brass is very disrespectful.
Don't take any more of his foul language.

Never heard of that term before (does it come from a particular region? ) but it sounds very offensive. No way to talk to any woman and really weird to say it to your daughter in law!

No it's not funny at all. What is wrong with him? Your DP needs to tell him, and I bet you're kicking yourself, but sometimes when someone says something offensive out of the blue you're just left on the back foot aren't you?

Poor you, trapped on holiday with him. Can you go your separate ways during the day and never go away with him again?

WTF kind of way is that to speak to your son’s partner?
What an arse. You don’t have to - and shouldn’t.- spend your time around people who are obnoxious.

@Pemba no idea I’m in the south. Thanks all, I didn’t like it at all at the time but have been stewing on it more since everyone went to bed. Will bring it up to dp in the morning it’s definitely the final straw now.