Argumentative people? Are you one of them?

[Scorpionghost]

My colleague is so argumentative it’s bizarre. Whatever I say she will just be the opposite. I made a passing comment like “eurgh I hate excel” and she went into a long speech about why she loves it … like ok? I don’t care. Or another passing comment about how I don’t like having meetings scheduled outside normal working hours and again a huge speech about why she doesn’t mind and how it’s expected.

She told me she once debated her boyfriend for 3 hours over the existence of Adam and Eve.

I really don’t get people that love to argue, prove you wrong, debate you. If it’s something racist (for example) then yes of course I would speak up but I don’t care if people think opposite to me, have different religious beliefs, follow a different political party.

I just have no passion to change peoples minds on anything that’s not racist or harmful. Anyone else just love being argumentative and debating?

No.

😁😁

Debating isn’t - or shouldn’t be argumentative - it should be reasonable and polite. It’s a good way of exploring an issue from different perspectives and challenging your own views.

Arguing with people is usually pointless. It can be hard to draw a line between challenging racism (or other problematic views / behaviours) and picking a fight that doesn’t need to be fought though.

Does she argue with you or is she just disagreeing?

I think political debates are a good thing, so I'll always argue/ debate if I think there's a better way and feel passionate about it. Ditto religious beliefs. I'm respectful of other people's beliefs, but think a lot of damage is done in the name of religion and I find many religions hypocritical and at odds with my own beliefs.

But no, I'd draw the line at arguing over Excel...

Both, you can tell by her tone. But for example, she had to do a sustainability initiative at work with another group of people (I wasn’t involved in it) and she said she wanted to do it on food waste within the company.

I work on the catering contract (she doesn’t) and I’ve have been in numerous meetings about it and so I told her there’s actually isn’t as much wastage as you’d think and you can’t donate hot cooked food, only packaged.

This was to help her out as they’d been considering other ideas as well. And she insisted on telling me I’m wrong … like ok I’m wrong then, I don’t have the energy to argue.

The worst kind of person is a person who gets offended over everything. They are argumentive and bitter. I stay away from people like that or walk away, she would have got a K and walked off before she could go into one

I am a bit, try and catch myself doing it and to analyse why I'm doing it. It's my least likeable trait by a long way and I wish I didn't automatically jump to react that way.

I wouldn't say I get offended, just argumentative as the OP suggested, see, I'm sorting of doing it now 😕

Yes, you are.

😀

And she bored me to death with telling me about getting botox, honestly she must have told me 10 times she’s made an appointment for it. Anyway on the day she was nervous. All I said was - don’t worry it doesn’t hurt, you might just get a headache afterwards.

And she insisted that she would not get a headache. Like she’s never had it before and all I said was she might get one, as it’s fairly common.

It’s just so tiresome so have everything single thing you say picked apart.

I'm either I one extreme or the other.
A lot of the time I just go along with whatever the other person says just to get the conversation over and done with.. And afterwards feel stupid for not saying what I really thought.
.Or if I'm stressed or in a bad mood or outraged over something I just dig my heels in and become bloody minded and just argue every detail.
I would like to achieve a happy medium between these two extremes.

Your colleague would annoy me . She'd put me in a bad mood and I'd end up getting really getting aeriated with her I think.

I don’t get easily offended at all. But i do always seem to see the other side of things. So i probably come across as argumentative but really I’m just working through the options out loud!

it’s one of the worst things about me. I hate it.

No I am fucking not

Tbh, it sounds as though she's had enough of your negativity and is trying to give an alternative (more positive) perspective. Based on the examples you've provided anyway.
Nothing worse than working next to a permanent whinger, moaning about excel and meetings.
Honestly sounds like she's trying to protect her MH in a way.

The examples don't sound argumentative, just her sharing her view or trying to put a positive spin on negative comments. People don't always have the same view and I think that makes conversations a lot more interesting.

She really does put me in a bad mood 😂.

She asked me to go for a walk at lunch, I apologised and said “I’m sorry I can’t as I’ve got these figures to prep before my call in 20 minutes” - her clearly not listening to me said after 10 minutes “shall we go then?” No!!!!!

Sorry that’s not even her being argumentative. Shes just an annoying and rude person.

She argued with me over food wastage and food donations. It’s a contract I work on and she has never had anything to do with it. She also doesn’t work in the kitchens to see this either.

But insisted on arguing the point that I was wrong.

She also insisted on telling me I was wrong about a supplier we’re working with. I said we’re not hiring them, I’ve just worked on the contract to appoint a different supplier. Like I’m telling her facts and I’m still wrong.

I just wouldn't engage with unless you have to, she sounds exhausting.

Hilarious! 😹

I try not to, I put headphones in and she then starts tapping my arm. Leave me alone! 😂

I am very opinionated and tend to write off people as idiots very often.
Argumentative though? I have absolutely ZERO interest in changing your mind about anything, unless you are someone I really care about. And even there I make my point quickly and move on.

My mother on the other hand is a Jeovah's witness. Talk about trying to change people's mind, on a daily basis... 😂

My colleague is like this. She’s really lovely and nice as pie to the wider team but argues over bloody everything when you work with her. We had to have mediation but she threw around a horrible accusation about me and tried to get me into trouble so now I only talk to her if I have to. Trouble is she’s saccharine to everyone else.

I love debating. Love it.

It's great to get together and really sink your teeth into an issue.

But only when it's what all involved are actually wanting and we are enjoying it and normally we're having a drink together. And it isn't planned in advance. Its not like meet at mine at 8pm for drinks and a debate about the state of the nhs and the best way forward. It just happens or not while chatting.

So probably not the same sort as this woman.

I'd find it really hard not to punch her.

No. I do know someone who is a know-it-all though and she does my frigging head in. I think she deliberately goes around looking for confrontation and conflict just so she can show how amazing her knowledge is and it's usually wrong and is always going on about the times she's won an arguement - most likely an argument only she knew she was having; the other person would just have been sitting there thinking, "What the fuck?!" I avoid her at all costs.