to wish my rude neighbours would just move house?

[elportodelgato]

sorry, I just REALLY need to let off some steam about this one! no need to respond really!

We have neighbours who we have kind of muddled along with over the years. We don't really get along with them but they're mainly OK - any disputes seem to get settled pretty amicably and even though the bloke has a bad attitude and a temper, we've never been on the receiving end of it.

At the moment we have a really minor disagreement with them about something which we just can't seem to clear up, so in the interests of getting a solution I emailed them, pointed out various instances of us being reasonable with them in the past, and suggested they might like to be reasonable with us over this one (honestly tiny) issue.

The email response I got back was quite simply a huge shouty barrage of shit - clearly written in anger and very very aggressive and bullying. I am very heavily pg so really don't need to be yelled at and threatened in my fragile hormonal state, but they clearly think nothing of bullying a pregnant woman. I spent a good 24 hours unable to really eat or sleep, just mentally composing vicious flaming emails in my head etc.

Thankfully my DH has a much cooler head about these things and has since sorted it out with the bloke and they appear to have taken a step back so all will be fine.

So AIBU to expect some kind of acknowledgement from them that they were out of line to be so aggressive? I really don't care about having disagreements with neighbours - that is what happens - but I seriously object to being bullied by the idiots downstairs who don't engage their brains before firing off shitty emails. Fundamentally the bloke is a coward who only ever says these kinds of things from behind his computer screen but what gives him the right to let off steam in my direction?

My DH tells me that the pair of them are not worth bothering about and should just be ignored but I'm still furious and part of me wants my DH to go round and yell at them for upsetting his pg wife (although my DH would never do this, it would be so unproductive)

They have been mentioning the possibility of them moving house for some time and now I just bloody wish they'd get on with it tbh so I never have to run into them again.

Anyway - I KNOW it is a tiny thing and that IABU and should forget about it but ARRGH!! I've never been spoken to in that way and feel totally justifiably angry

you should never communicate by email .. because it is too instantaneous

does sound like they could have read your 'pointing out when we've been reasonable' as rather patronising and it annoyed them

hard to judge really whether you're justified without knowing what the problem was, what you emailed and what you got back

I'd just let it go

I wished my neigbours would move...they did...and the people they sold the house to are worse!!! Be careful what you wish for!!!

you're right - I think I did come off patronising in my initial email but my intention was to be constructive, even if the tone was misjudged.
thanks for telling me to let it go though - you are right of course.

My neighbour puts notes through our door rather than communicating face to face and it really annoys me. Then when we see him in the street he is nice as pie and doesn't mention anything about it. If he's got a problem he needs to speak to us face to face so that we can both put our POV's across. What did you initially disagree about?

Do you own your house? Do they own theirs?
If so, you/they will need to disclose any, ahem, contretemps on pain of damages claims later.

thanks for all the messages - I am not half as as I was yesterday thank God!

One of the problems is we are all pretty busy
folks, so catching them face to face is difficult, hence the email contact which I agree is not ideal.

The issue is (it's so stupid): we have a shared area which has been cluttered with their stuff ever since we moved in - we've never really bothered about asking them to clear it as we don't need to use it as much as they do. However, we now do need to use some of the space so we've been asking them to have a bit of a clear out and they've been resisting. We've been to-ing and fro-ing over it for so long, and I have been frustrated because we need a solution asap (oh, and probably because I am pg and not feeling massively calm!). So you see, it is a tiny thing - small shared storage area not the bleeding Gaza Strip or anything!

Thanks to me DH's calmness it is all sorted out now, but I think the civil business-like relationship we had with them has died a death and I HATE being involved in this kind of confrontation. As I said earlier, the guy is a bully and his email really succeeded in intimidating me which makes me angry with myself more than anything - have never felt intimidated by anyone before really.

It is very likely just the pg hormones blowing it out of proportion...

i wish i could move away from my neighbours..after various problems over the years....

i now hate coming home, and i am currently saving like made to be able to buy somewhere next year to get away...

hope it gets sorted

No, I don't think it's hormones - I got an email from someone who'd contacted me at work for a quote, and, after I'd given her the (detailed and resonable) quote emailed me saying what an awful person I was (I'd never met her) and how "if I saw you coming down the street I'd cross the road to avoid you".

To this day I have no idea why she sent this to me; it must be over a year ago and I'm still kind of upset about it.

Sorry that I have no solution for you, just didn't want you to think you're alone or unreasonable for feeling like this